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Are You a People Pleaser?

 

Are you a people pleaser?

Do you find yourself taken off your own path and busy trying to keep other people happy?  Do you find that when you start something you want others to value it too?

On yesterday’s Manifesting Excellence call I answered a question which many will resonate with (paraphrased for confidentiality):

“Why do I feel so afraid to follow my own path?  I’m trying, but I start feeling guilty about everyone else.  I want people to like what i like and then get down when they don’t.  Then I start thinking I should change something to make them like what I’m doing.”  (excerpted)

 

Does any of this resonate with you?  Do you find yourself out of your flow or “up and down” because of others?

Here are some questions to ask yourself to look into this:

1 – What emotions come up for you if you don’t do what will please others?

Identify which emotions are you ‘attaching’ to this dynamic with this person.  The first step is awareness, after that you can do something about it.

For some people it could be emotions, for example, around abandonment or survival.  These can be strong in ‘attaching’ them to others.  You want to be around others from the natural expression of your own spirit and empowerment, not from a place of ”need’ or validation.

 

2 – What would happen if this person wasn’t in your life?

What would you feel?  What would be missing?  This is not for someone to not be in your life, but for you to be aware of the emotions you have attached to this dynamic which are taking up space and energy from what you want.

In having awareness of this you can release these emotions and have space for the relationship with this person that you DO want – that is if you choose to have anything to do with them and if it is healthy for you to do so.

 

3 – What would happen (or not happen) or what would you feel if you followed your path?

Do you need any validation or confirmation from others about what you do?
What would happen or not happen if you didn’t get this validation or approval from others?
How would you feel about it?  How does it make you feel about yourself?  What thoughts come up for you?
What if others are against what you do?  How does it make you feel?  What emotions come up in you?

 

What experiences have you had or are you having in relation to others?
What have you found has worked for you in dealing with it?

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

 

If you’d like to access the audio of the call yesterday where I answered this in detail you can access it at Manifesting Excellence.

 

Cockatoos and Macaw

When it Gets Hard to Trust Yourself or Know What’s Right

 

There are times in life when a lot has happened, or is happening, and we don’t know what to do.

It can be very ‘noisy’, whether with your own thoughts or with the noise from other’s opinions.

In this post I will share a couple of steps you can take in addressing this and getting more in tune with yourself.

 

1 – Quieten the Noise as Best as you Can.

Identify what your internal ‘noise’ is about if you can. What specifically are your fears, anxieties, expectations?  Sooth them.

If it’s about other’s opinions then the same here, why do their opinions matter to you?  What ‘hold’ do they have over you?  Loosen (and then remove) your perspective on that hold.

Step into your power and what you want.  Take the other person (or people) out of the equation.  It could be a parent, a partner, an ex-partner you have a child with – anyone, do not make them a reason for taking yourself out of your power, your divinity.

 

Your divnity never foresakes you. But you foresake it based on your beliefs and perspectives about yourself and your life.

 

If you feel you are in a helpless and hopeless situation you will see the helplessness and hopelessness in the situations around you and not the possibilities.  The possibilities present themselves when you change your state of consciousness.

Oftentimes we are not conscious of what is making us feel that way, but there are ALWAYS reasons for why we feel the way we do, and we do not have to feel that way (if you would like more on this, consider joining Manifesting Excellence or working one-to-one).

You will give up your power because you will believe that the situation is bigger than you are – it’s not.

 

2 – Reconnect to What you Want and Who You Are

When we get ourselves out of our flow it is usually because we are focusing on what we don’t want or what we fear.

Fears, anxieties and other negative emotions distort our natural intuition and instincts (including the solutions we require) as well as our sense of who we are and what is important to us (That’s why sometimes we make bad decisions when we are out of our flow – decisions are commensurate with our state at the time).

What is it you want?
How would you like things to be?
How will you know when you have them?
Get as specific and clear as you can.

Who are you?
What do you believe in?
What is important to you?

 

There is no situation in your life that is bigger than you are. Have you forgotten that you are the divine expressed in physical form?  What can be more powerful than that?

Step into and realise that.  Do not make something else outside of you bigger and scarier than you.  That is you creating projections – like the big shadows you would see when you were a child and would scare you.

Instead, step inwards to your own power…
To what you love…
To who you are…
To what you believe in…
Your values…
To the things that matter to you most…
The life that you want to have…
How would you like it to be? 
Why does this matter to you so much?  Step into it.  Take the steps now in making this happen…

 

Have you noticed that all the solutions above take you closer to your heart and spirit, and everything else – such as fears – take you further away from it?

Share any thoughts or comments on this below.

 

1072462_71375635 - vector heart illustration

 

 

 

 

How Much are You Using Your Intuition?

 

How much do you use your intuition?

Those on Manifesting Excellence will know I talk about this, particularly when it comes to manifesting and using the Law of Attraction as well as in everyday life.

You using your intuition is a natural and inherent part of you…not using it is like choosing not to use a hand of yours – it is a natural part of you.

Some people don’t fully trust theirs and others don’t believe they are intuitive or that it isn’t there.  This would be like you not believing that you have a right arm – you wouldn’t use it if you believed that you didn’t have it!

 

What are your thoughts and beliefs about your intuition?
What experiences have you had in using your intuition?
How would you encourage others who want to use theirs?

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

 

Intuition candle

 

Want to Stop Battling Yourself and Feel Like You’re Floating on a Cloud?

This Saturday on the Manifesting Excellence call/audio I will be talking about how to get into deep communication with yourself.

We have various aspects within ourselves at any time – aspects which have desires and which can as a consequence get into conflict with each other.

On this Saturday’s call/audio we will be talking about identifying the different aspects within yourself, whether in one area of your life or in your life as a whole.

For most people a lot of this communication is unconscious and outside of their awareness.  Their mind is communicating to them all the time and they are not aware of it.  And oftentimes it is also unconsciously through their body via various sensations.

Wouldn’t it be powerful to get in touch with this communication within yourself – harnessing your conscious and unconscious – to have it oriented towards what you desire?

Most people have many aspects operating within themselves at any time.  It could be self-chatter about what has happened, internal conflicts, anxieties about the future, dislikes, preferences, and and many other thoughts.

These all take up focus (including unconscious focus) and energy – energy away from what they want.  This is why people often do not get what they want.  Their energy is “all over the place” and they do not know this because it is a state they have been doing for so long that they are so accustomed to it!

The thing to do is to identify these aspects and have them work in collaboration, synergy, and even potentially integration with each other.

When people do this with themselves they feel their energies align, their bodies become lighter and “come alive” (as well as the chemical benefits their bodies experience) – the “coming alive” feeling occurs because the aspects of themselves are no longer resisting each other and their “life-energy” can flow through them. 

They are in synergy and alignment, there is no longer friction – which means more energy to take action with, as well as finding more synchronicities and manifestations occur.

Join us this Saturday (or on the audio of it afterwards) by trying out Manifesting Excellence.

Cloud

 

 

 

 

Separating Yourself from Something in Order to Solve Your Situation

Sometimes we can be so absorbed in something that we don’t even realise that it is consuming us – it could be anger, sadness, fear, guilt, low self-esteem, a situation – anything that is keeping our energy and us away from who we naturally are.

It is about creating a separation and dissociation from those concepts, some distance, so we can find ourselves and move away from them.

 

When you create space between you and something unhealthy and toxic you get to redefine yourself, rather than incorporating the unhealthy aspect in the definition of yourself. Create the space, define yourself in new ways taking you forward in healthy and amazing ways.

 

The first step is the realisation and awareness of something so as to create that separation. Often we don’t know what to create separation from because we don’t realise it is affecting us – we can be too ‘in’ the problem.

Identify the edges – the boundaries – separate yourself from the issue, rather than the two blurring into one.  It’s like having a foreign entity in you and changing yourself to it (in an unhealthy way in this example, as if it was empowering then no need to change it at this time) and no longer realising the separation and difference between you and it.

That is where interacting with others, including if working with someone, can help as we get to be aware of any aspects like this, identify the boundaries, and shine the light on them. We get the awareness and realisation of them as well as the resources to step further into our light.

All great work with ourselves is by shifting our perspectives to allow our light – which is what we truly are, letting the illusions go, and shining our light…

 

Solving your problems

 

 

Is the North Korea Standoff a Reminder about Authenticity in our Personal Relationships?

Isn’t what is happening with North Korea and South Korea & the US an example of what happens in personal relationships when ‘ego’ and ‘mind’ get involved?

If everything on a macro level is reflective of a micro level and vice versa, isn’t this a reminder of us managing our own conduct impeccably?

Qualities to avoid such as:
– Distortions
– Communication getting (and at times being deliberately) misinterpreted
– Taking things personally
Propoganda & untruths being said
– Bluffs being called
– Miscalculations/interpretations leading to possible disasterous consequences

And instead:
– Authenticity – openness and honesty
– Spirit of togetherness
– Respect for the other
– Working together to create a better environment
– Having so much goodwill that mistakes and miscalculations are taken as that and not as something more personal
– Learning together, even if not a perfect situation, learning and growing together – and the relationship being fused more closely together as a result

What are your thoughts?  Share in the comments below.

broken heart and heart

Finding GENUINE Gratitude and Appreciation to Solve Problems and Manifest

Whether in personal development or spiritual circles you would have heard about using gratitude and appreciation. (I covered this in yesterday’s Manifesting Excellence call which is available as an audio in the archives by registering)

But why? And more importantly, how?

Why? Because when you focus on what you are GENUINELY grateful or appreciative of you are focusing more toward that which gives you joy and away from that which looks towards lack. It is taking you into your flow than out of it.

As you focus more of which that is pleasant you will find ‘problems’ solving themselves – because your attention and energy will become more about the solution than the problem or lack. As you build the momentum (more on this below) you will experience more and more manifestations.

If you want a bit of a deeper understanding, beyond your physical body you are energy. The energy of gratitude and appreciation – as well as ‘love’ – is towards that which you inherently are on a deeper level beyond your physical body.

If you have worked with me or read my book you will know that you as an energetic being, on a deeper level, are already aligned to that which you want – that’s right, all your manifestations are already there in energy and are ready to enter your physical life.

By you on a physical level focusing on appreciation and gratitude you are getting into alignment with the energetic – spiritual – non-physical – whatever else you want to call it – aspect of yourself.

 

672385_45727157 - thank you

 

The Mistake Many People Make

I say make sure you have GENUINE appreciation because some people do gratitude or appreciation games and ‘force’ themselves and it is not authentic. If you are not being authentic, how can you expect the Universe to be? That wouldn’t be the same energy as genuinely being appreciative or grateful for something would it? Your energy would be mixed or diluted, rather than ‘pure’.

It’s like saying to someone that you love them but not meaning it – they will know!

In the same way, the Universe knows what you are offering energetically – and whether you mean it or not.

And this is how the Law of Attraction works – when you are offering an energy, you attract more of the same – you attract energetic matches.

In this case you attract more that is a match to the frequency of gratitude and appreciation. And of course if you weren’t meaning it and were ‘mixed’ in your energy about it, your results will be mixed, if at all.

 

How to ‘do’ Gratitude & Appreciation

1 – Find what you are GENUINELY Appreciative or Grateful for

2 – Write/think about it.

Express the thankfulness – make it genuine. The key thing is FEEL the emotion – the emotion is an indicator of your energy.

3 – Write/think more! The reason for this is you want to create a MOMENTUM

Thinking one or two things is fine. But it has the momentum of your daily inner chatter to work against. You want to build a momentum with your positive work such that it affects your daily energy – that’s how you attract new things.

To attract new things offer a new energy.

As you build the momentum notice how it FEELS – that’s the key.

4 – Repeat the above steps.

What will happen is as you build the momentum it will become easier and easier. Just like when you start to get happy it is easier to be happier. Just like momentum was mentioned above about being helpful, once you have it, it will help carry you to an even stronger momentum (so long as you do not disrupt it with thoughts to the contrary).

 

Any experiences you have had with Appreciation or Gratitude? Any questions? Or perhaps thankfulness you would like to express? Please share in the comments below : )

 

Hemal Radia is the author of “Find You & You Find Everything: The Secrets to the Law of Attraction“, a speaker and a ‘super’ coach. His work is shared worldwide including on large followings on social networks such as Facebook and Twitter.

Click here to Work One-to-One with Hemal

Click here to try Manifesting Excellence

Want to access a FREE book group to study my “Find You” book?

 

Here is something which is for free, where you can connect with
thousands around the world, and can inspire you to your flow and
manifestations!

Many of you regularly write in with the manifestations and successes you have experienced with my “Find You & You Find Everything: The Secret to the Law of Attraction” book.

Would you, at your own convenience and totally for FREE, like to be part of a book group who will be studying my book?

They will be:
– Interacting about & discussing my book
– Taking learnings from it and everyday application
– Stimulating their intuition from it
– Having fun!
– And much more!

Does this interest you? It will be online and FREE, you just need to have a copy of my book (click here to get it if you don’t already have it).

What better opportunity than connecting with others around the world and sharing your questions and experiences from this book?

They have asked to interview me on their “Oracle Friday” radio show this Friday at 7am ET/12pm UK time (downloadable afterwards) to start it off and where you can get more details.

You can access that interview on Friday here Hemal Radia on “Oracle Friday” about Law of Attraction

Hemal Radia & Find You & You Find Everything

Magic and Miracles” Call from Last Weekend!

Below are details of the Manifesting Excellence call from last weekend.

Register at www.hemalradia.com/manifesting to access this call and others in the audio archive.

“Magic” and “Miracles” appearas that if they are outside your usual belief system
– Practice what you want…bring “magic” and “miracles” into your regular experience
– Using a dream-based manifestation to improve a dance move
Giving yourself mental suggestions when going to sleep, meditating or using self-hypnosis
Working with your unconscious mind and your spirit
– Hemal shares techniques to tap into the energy/vibration/morphogenic field of world-class experts supporting you
– Having Bill Gates, Warren Buffet etc amongst the experts on your ‘counsel’ and tapping into their energy
– It’s the energy that’s important for you, whether from the past, present or future, alive or deceased
– The more real your ‘expert’ is the more specific and real it will feel to you than being ambiguous
– Writing notes etc to consciously activate the information in your unconscious
Skim reading a book quickly and activating the material
– There are more neural connections in your brain than grains of sand on the planet
– More neural connections than planets in the solar system
– Your mind is like a phone network…any damage and it will re-route the information and work around it
How often do you ask yourself empowering questions and activate and stimulate those answers, rather than habitual internal chatter
Activating your mind, like the tip-of-the-tongue phenomenon
– Time is linear in that it is one moment after another. How you perceive each moment, how long or short, is subjective and can be worked with
– Your past and future are projected from and filtered by your present
– When your beliefs in your now change, your perceptions and projections of your past and future change, including of what you expect in the future, which affect what you manifest…
It’s not that time or events change, it’s your perception of them
– You view the past and future via your now like a slide projector. You filter them just like you can filter what you see on a projector with a coloured sheet of plastic, for example
Separation and differentiation is a convenient illusion in this physical reality, it allows you to make choices and have preferences on what you would like
– Process for getting in tune with your interconnectedness to everything else
Realising your interconnectedness to everything else when it comes to manifesting
Amplifying your relationship to what you want by your attention to it
– Your interconnectedness to Hemal in listening to the ME call/audio
You are connected to everything…including the manifestations you would like in your life – amplifying that connection to manifestation

Register at www.hemalradia.com/manifesting to access this call and others in the audio archive.