Are you a people pleaser?

Do you find yourself taken off your own path and busy trying to keep other people happy?  Do you find that when you start something you want others to value it too?

On yesterday’s Manifesting Excellence call I answered a question which many will resonate with (paraphrased for confidentiality):

“Why do I feel so afraid to follow my own path?  I’m trying, but I start feeling guilty about everyone else.  I want people to like what i like and then get down when they don’t.  Then I start thinking I should change something to make them like what I’m doing.”  (excerpted)

Does any of this resonate with you?  Do you find yourself out of your flow or “up and down” because of others?

Here are some questions to ask yourself to look into this:

1 – What emotions come up for you if you don’t do what will please others?

Identify which emotions are you ‘attaching’ to this dynamic with this person.  The first step is awareness, after that you can do something about it.

For some people it could be emotions, for example, around abandonment or survival.  These can be strong in ‘attaching’ them to others.  You want to be around others from the natural expression of your own spirit and empowerment, not from a place of ”need’ or validation.

2 – What would happen if this person wasn’t in your life?

What would you feel?  What would be missing?  This is not for someone to not be in your life, but for you to be aware of the emotions you have attached to this dynamic which are taking up space and energy from what you want.

In having awareness of this you can release these emotions and have space for the relationship with this person that you DO want – that is if you choose to have anything to do with them and if it is healthy for you to do so.

3 – What would happen (or not happen) or what would you feel if you followed your path?

Do you need any validation or confirmation from others about what you do?
What would happen or not happen if you didn’t get this validation or approval from others?
How would you feel about it?  How does it make you feel about yourself?  What thoughts come up for you?
What if others are against what you do?  How does it make you feel?  What emotions come up in you?

What experiences have you had or are you having in relation to others?
What have you found has worked for you in dealing with it?

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

If you’d like to access the audio of the call yesterday where I answered this in detail you can access it at Manifesting Excellence.

Isn’t what is happening with North Korea and South Korea & the US an example of what happens in personal relationships when ‘ego’ and ‘mind’ get involved?

If everything on a macro level is reflective of a micro level and vice versa, isn’t this a reminder of us managing our own conduct impeccably?

Qualities to avoid such as:
– Distortions
– Communication getting (and at times being deliberately) misinterpreted
– Taking things personally
– Propoganda & untruths being said
– Bluffs being called
– Miscalculations/interpretations leading to possible disasterous consequences

And instead:
– Authenticity – openness and honesty
– Spirit of togetherness
– Respect for the other
– Working together to create a better environment
– Having so much goodwill that mistakes and miscalculations are taken as that and not as something more personal
– Learning together, even if not a perfect situation, learning and growing together – and the relationship being fused more closely together as a result

What are your thoughts?  Share in the comments below.

Whether in personal development or spiritual circles you would have heard about using gratitude and appreciation. (I covered this in yesterday’s Manifesting Excellence call which is available as an audio in the archives by registering)

But why? And more importantly, how?

Why? Because when you focus on what you are GENUINELY grateful or appreciative of you are focusing more toward that which gives you joy and away from that which looks towards lack. It is taking you into your flow than out of it.

As you focus more of which that is pleasant you will find ‘problems’ solving themselves – because your attention and energy will become more about the solution than the problem or lack. As you build the momentum (more on this below) you will experience more and more manifestations.

If you want a bit of a deeper understanding, beyond your physical body you are energy. The energy of gratitude and appreciation – as well as ‘love’ – is towards that which you inherently are on a deeper level beyond your physical body.

If you have worked with me or read my book you will know that you as an energetic being, on a deeper level, are already aligned to that which you want – that’s right, all your manifestations are already there in energy and are ready to enter your physical life.

By you on a physical level focusing on appreciation and gratitude you are getting into alignment with the energetic – spiritual – non-physical – whatever else you want to call it – aspect of yourself.

The Mistake Many People Make

I say make sure you have GENUINE appreciation because some people do gratitude or appreciation games and ‘force’ themselves and it is not authentic. If you are not being authentic, how can you expect the Universe to be? That wouldn’t be the same energy as genuinely being appreciative or grateful for something would it? Your energy would be mixed or diluted, rather than ‘pure’.

It’s like saying to someone that you love them but not meaning it – they will know!

In the same way, the Universe knows what you are offering energetically – and whether you mean it or not.

And this is how the Law of Attraction works – when you are offering an energy, you attract more of the same – you attract energetic matches.

In this case you attract more that is a match to the frequency of gratitude and appreciation. And of course if you weren’t meaning it and were ‘mixed’ in your energy about it, your results will be mixed, if at all.

How to ‘do’ Gratitude & Appreciation

1 – Find what you are GENUINELY Appreciative or Grateful for

2 – Write/think about it.

Express the thankfulness – make it genuine. The key thing is FEEL the emotion – the emotion is an indicator of your energy.

3 – Write/think more! The reason for this is you want to create a MOMENTUM

Thinking one or two things is fine. But it has the momentum of your daily inner chatter to work against. You want to build a momentum with your positive work such that it affects your daily energy – that’s how you attract new things.

To attract new things offer a new energy.

As you build the momentum notice how it FEELS – that’s the key.

4 – Repeat the above steps.

What will happen is as you build the momentum it will become easier and easier. Just like when you start to get happy it is easier to be happier. Just like momentum was mentioned above about being helpful, once you have it, it will help carry you to an even stronger momentum (so long as you do not disrupt it with thoughts to the contrary).

Any experiences you have had with Appreciation or Gratitude? Any questions? Or perhaps thankfulness you would like to express? Please share in the comments below : )

Hemal Radia is the author of “Find You & You Find Everything: The Secrets to the Law of Attraction“, a speaker and a ‘super’ coach. His work is shared worldwide including on large followings on social networks such as Facebook and Twitter.

Click here to Work One-to-One with Hemal

Click here to try Manifesting Excellence

In case you weren’t on the call at the weekend, here is some of what was covered on the “Identifying & Letting Go of Emotional Attachment” call.

You can access the audio of the call in the archives of Manifesting Excelelnce by clicking the link at www.hemalradia.com/manifesting

The audio includes:
– What is “letting go of attachment“?
– It’s not letting go of your desire, it’s letting go of the resistance and the negative emotions around your desire
– Attachment can be to:
– Fears
– Your identity, how you think of yourself and see yourself
– Other people
– Situations
– Addictions
– Clutter
– Symbols
– And much more

Why let go of attachment:
– Manifest your goals faster
– Less stress and more peace in your now
– Clarity of mind and quicker and accurate decision making
– Better connection with your intuition
– Seeing and recognising more synchronicities in your life

– It is not about being emotionally numb. It is not about ‘tolerating’
– Negative emotions and resistance distort your signal to the Universe
– Without ‘noise’ your desire is more clearly, purely and powerfully expressed leading to faster manifestations and more of what you want
– When you define your goal what are you limiting or ‘fixing’ yourself by?
– Specifying your outcome and listing and prioritising what is important to you
– Notice when you define your goal what aspects you are emotional to and what emotions
– Attachment to timeframes and your goals
– Is there an attachment to ‘how’ your goal comes to you?
– Letting go of the form of your outcome
– Attachments take up energy…in freeing them up you get to live more of your joyful present now and  see the opportunities in it and less from your past

– List of clues as to attachment:
– “I need it so badly or so soon”
– “I need this”
– I need it before x time”
– “I hope this happens” (either an attachment or more-so a bit of a lack of faith/belief. Nothing wrong with ‘hope’, but guide yourself towards ‘higher’ vibrations)
– “My friends will think differently of me or not like me in the same way anymore” (eg attachment to what others think, conflicting with going after the goal)
– “I just need this goal or thing and everything will be ok” (masking a problem or situation with a goal or thing – it can work out fine, but you may be mixing the energy of the problem with the goal and hence sending out mixed signals for it)
– “How could you do this to me?” (puts responsibility and attachment to another than to their own power)

– When you are attached you are lowering your energy and taking away from your spirit and your divinity – you are out of manifesting frequency and inspiration of the answers you are looking for
– “Letting go” is not resignation, it is letting go of the resistance to what you want . It is “allowing” what you want. It is also allowing your divinity and your greater power
– “Symbols” such as money, cars, houses and things on a physical level – away from your sense of “Self” – are transient. Your spirit knows that. And that true happiness is in your connection to your sense of Self
– True wealth is finding your connection within and wealth on the outside will follow that.
– Letting go of attachment allows you to be passionate about and love what is truly important to you – In what ways are you not happy in your present right now?
– “When you let go of attachment you focus more on the joy of the moment and of the process than the outcome. You know you will be ok. You have let go of your attachment to your form and to your  wellbeing. You are eternal. You are always fine. You have let go of your attachment to the outcome also. Because you have done this you can enjoy the present moment more, and the present moment is all you have.”

Questions included:
– “My relationship with my lover of a few years seems to be ending. She has a situation she is resolving and so am I. I feel sadness and am dealing with it along with everything else”
– Various follow up comments and questions in response to a question from last week
– “I have this belief that if I want something such as money, people, opportunities etc that I have to obsess about it in my head. I have bills that overwhelm me and want to manifest the money to  pay them off, it seems too big to handle…”
– The most important thing to ask yourself about any situation in your life is what is it doing to you and your connection with your Self. From there all solutions are possible.

You can access the audio of the call by clicking the link at www.hemalradia.com/manifesting

This Saturday we are covering a topic which in my opinion is one of the most powerful in transforming and manifesting what you want. In fact if you have mastery over this you have mastery over most things.

Over the last 18 years or so I have shared techniques and principles around the world and in my view “Letting go of Attachment” is one of the most powerful things you can do because it is about letting go of the noise, friction and resistance, and being who you truly are – the powerful magnificent divine being that you are.

Why Let Go of Attachment About What YOU Want?
– Manifest Your Goals Faster
– Less Stress and more Peace in Your Now
– Clarity of Mind and Quicker and Accurate Decision Making
– Better Connection with your Intuition
– Seeing and Recognising more Synchronicities in your Life

Click here to register onto Manifesting Excellence to access Saturday’s call/audio download

On Saturday’s call we will be talking about how to identify attachment within yourself and others and what to do about it.

Enjoy some quotes about letting go of attachment:

“Letting go” is not resignation, it is letting go of the resistance to what you want. It is letting go of the  resistance and the negative emotions around what you want, not your desire. In doing that, if anything, it amplifies your desire and makes it even more pure and powerful and your manifestations are more likely to happen faster because you are sending out a clearer signal.
The art of “wanting and not-wanting”. Like everything else it appears paradoxical. When you master the paradox you master the manifestation.” – Hemal Radia

More on Saturday’s call…

“When you let go of attachment you focus more on the joy of the moment and of the process than the outcome. You know you will be ok. You have let go of your attachment to your form and to your  wellbeing. You are eternal. You are always fine. You have let go of your attachment to the outcome also. Because you have done this you can enjoy the present moment more, and the present moment is all you have.” – Hemal Radia

Click here to register onto Manifesting Excellence to access Saturday’s call/audio download

Soul-to-soul ‘love’ is flow/infinite/abundant/expansive and connective…
Whereas ego-to-ego ‘love’ can be divisive/fear-based/limited/scarcity thinking and contractive.

Ego-to-ego can resonate at times in people’s journeys and their evolution and for where they are at that moment – there is nothing necessarily ‘wrong’ with it, it can be a phase like many others.

But it may not be something that lasts as it is based on the superficial and transient, than on the deeper, infinite, the divine, or the ‘truth’ – who you really are.

You are your soul/spirit in addition to your physical form. Loving something (or someone) for their form is transient because they will change form, as will you.

But loving someone for who they are will be an eternal love affair because that’s ‘who’ they are and who you are.

One is expansive, abundant, timeless, connective and adds to who you are – the other is divisive, fear-basesd, contractive and transient.

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

This Saturday's Manifesting Excellence call is about "Finding Love"!

* Do you keep attracting the same type of man/woman into your life?

* Are you finding that what you are looking for hasn't been appearing in your life?

* Are you scared of getting into a relationship or feel that you won't be happy?

* Do you believe that what you want isn't out there?

* Do you believe that you are carrying the past with you and it makes it difficult for you to have what you want and be happy?

* For this and much more, and YOUR questions, join us on the Manifesting Excellence call this coming Saturday!

Click here to register for Manifesting Excellence

P.S. In registering you also get access to the call archives on topics such as Money, Relationships, Fear, Letting Go and much more.  Register at Manifesting Excellence

Here is a FREE Podcast compiled by Ali Wylie where I answer a question on a live call about about helping others and what if it gets you out of balance to attract and manifest what you want, and what to do about it:

– Helping others is an extension of your own natural abundance
– It’s about how much it takes you out of balance and out of your flow
– Over-extending yourself, keeping your cup full
– Great results from even small actions
– What is the energy behind you helping people?
– Avoid guilt and fear being a motivator
– Helping people through your divinity, flow, creativity, inspiration and love

Click here to access “How Does People Pleasing Interfere with the Law of Attraction?”

Recently I was approached by my friend and podcast consultant Ali Wylie mentioning that a lot of people would love to access my material via podcasts on iTunes.

So, she started putting some podcasts online of me answering live questions and if you’d like to access and subscribe to them for FREE you can do so on iTunes at http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/manifesting-law-attraction/id544488188

The podcasts on there already include about (the following are all clickable FREE to get to the specific podcasts, or all of them via the above iTunes link) “Getting in the Flow“, “Money Problems? How Do We Stay in the Flow?“, ” Raising Confidence“, “Aligning Energy to Your Goals“.  Each are short snippets you can enjoy and are time efficient.

Ali would also like to create podcasts with my quotes.  So today, we have posts on various groups and pages of mine on Facebook asking people to send in their favourite quotes to be picked for me to record onto podcasts so you can download them!

What are your favourite quotes of mine you would like to ‘hear’ me say?

Below are those that have been submitted today and have been picked so far –

I give a flower to you where the petals each carry a letter of your name, and in the centre is my heart ~ Hemal Radia

Sometimes we can’t fall in love with what’s possible because of the limitations we construct about it… (Hemal Radia)

Love and limitation are like oil and water… (Hemal Radia)

What comes to you in your life will be in the easiest way it can enter your life. Your beliefs and thoughts (i.e vibration) determine the path of least resistance in your ‘allowing’ of it. ~ Hemal Radia

I love you (manifestations) not because of you happening or not happening, but I love you for the joy you give me when I think about you… (Hemal Radia)

Which other quotes would YOU like to submit?

And do remember, you can access the podcasts and subcribe to them free at http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/manifesting-law-attraction/id544488188 

On last weekend’s Manifesting Excellence call there were questions submitted by someone looking to attract a job which included dealing with fears and challenges she was working through.  One of the dilemmas she was having was an internal conflict in believing that if she had a job with job satisfaction, she wouldn’t have money, and vice versa.

How would you deal with this conflict?

Can you think of others?
How about:
– Can I have a successful career AND a successful marriage/relationship?
– Can I have independence AND a fantastic and amazing relationship?
– Can I have someone that I am deeply attracted to AND who is good for me?

And so on…

This was towards the end of the call and if you’d like to access it via Manifesting Excellence you can do so by clicking here.

When you have an internal conflict between two (or more) things, you are creating a dichotomy – a split – in how you see things about what is possible and what isn’t.  That split creates boundaries between the two things that you want.

This could be obvious such as some of the statements above or quite subtle such as “Shall I do x or y today?”

When you decide to do something, do it.  Don’t split your energy over it.  


When you split your energy over something you are diluting your resources in the manifestation and the inspiration to it.

The skill is to bring those two outcomes/goals/realities together and integrate them into one, i.e. –

– A life with a successful career AND a successful marriage/relationship
– The feeling of self (within which is ‘independence’) AND a fantastic and amazing relationship
– Someone that you are deeply attracted to AND someone who is good for you

When you start to SEE something, you start to make it happen.

When you see a split in what is possible, or see it as impossible, it’s harder to create it, unless you happen to take your attention off the conflict (/resistance) and allow in what you want.

If you’d like to get access to the Manifesting Excellence call that covered this and much more click here.