“Hi Hemal, I was wondering what your thoughts were on jealousy?

I have been hurt so badly in the past by someone and struggle to move on from that.

I stayed alone for sometime and thought I had dealt with it – via reiki and positive thoughts and law of attraction etc – now I am with my new man I on occasion feel it in my stomach and find it hard to keep under control.Dont get me wrong its not a possessive thing, just the odd occasion where I feel sick to the stomach. I know deep down its my own mind and self esteem and I work with this daily but wondered what your view on it was or any advice from your way….thanks for your time to read ..have a great day

Em x”

When we are going into a relationship, we are feeling wonderful things and the beautiful emotions build and build – an example of Law of
Attraction!  And then what happens is we may experience fears and
insecurities and other things may come up.  It may be that we are fearful of losing what we have, or that we have a bit of moment to reflect and absorb what has been happening and start to ‘think’ (and the fears and ‘patterning’ come up) rather than continue ‘being‘ in that wonderful feel-good place.

“After people attract something (such as a relationship), they can
sometimes get busy trying not to lose it, which is a very different
vibration to what attracted it to them in the first place…”

Jealousy is a response to thinking that something is yours when in fact, like everything else in the Universe, it isn’t, and you are no ones either.  Other than the fact that you are two souls meeting along your journey.

The discomfort that exists is because you are thinking thoughts that
are taking you out of your flow and from what you want.  And what you
want isn’t just this physical being in your life, but the essences of
what you are experiencing.  Whilst your physical body and mind
experiences this person, your soul and essences are experiencing so
much more and that is what led to the physical meeting.

You can’t be jealous if you are on your path and know that you will be ok. You cannot base your own wellbeing on another’s presence and feelings for you, but on your own connection to wellbeing and flow (which in itself is attractive for others to be around you).

You love them and adore them because, as a free being, you are chosing to be with them, and vice versa. There is no attachment or holding, especially emotionally. Allow them to be free, they will appreciate and love you even more for it.  Otherwise, energetically, they will feel constricted too.  And when someone feels constriction or pressure, little things can start to come in (such as disagreements, arguments etc) which can build.  It is far better to have the space within ourselves and allow the other, and ourselves, to be who we are.  To be fearless in all eventualities and being at peace with them, so we can enjoy our now.

“Anytime we build a strong momentum about something, and we experience
strong emotions or fears to the contrary, it can get pretty
uncomfortable.”

You cannot carve out and separate a bit of the Universe (such as a person) and hold it in statis
forever and say it is yours.  Everything is interconnected and
interrelated, as are you. You wouldn’t want it any other way.  You
wouldn’t want to be disconnected from your flow. It is more important
to you than this relationship or anything else, because it is to do
with your relationship with who YOU are as the spiritual being that is
living this physical life.

We fear losing what we have but remember we cannot ‘hold’ or ‘force’ something.  What we can do is deal with the fears about it.  What would happen if this person left?  Be at peace with that.  Have it so that does not scare you and you can focus your emotional energy on appreciating what you two have together.

Anytime a limiting thought comes up, identify the underlying what fear behind it, and let it go.  All fears are limited perspectives of the Universe.  They imply that you will not be ok as a result of something happening or not happening.  When in fact the Universe is wellbeing and does not place conditions on it, only you do.

Any jealousy or element of control is about one’s fear or lack of security or certainty about having or keeping something that they want, or how they want it. It is an illusion because you can never truly ‘have’ something and keep it static forever and how you want it.  That’s the illusion. And that can be scary itself the first time someone realises that.  But that’s only fear, it is not reality. The reality is you have no need to be scared because you are safe.

The ‘truth‘ is your flow and connection to all that you want, including through this person or thing that you want. Take your attention away from the noises and distractions from fear, and put them on your truth which is your ever-abundant and ever-infinite flow and adulation from the Universe.

How can you ever be without when you realise how much you mean to this Universe?  There was no coincidence in your creation, and nothing would be withheld from you.  You just needed to know how to ask for it – vibrationally.  In realising your connection, you have nothing to fear being without.  It’s like having fears in looking at a blade of grass, and not seeing the whole field.

About a week ago I was asked if I would answer some questions about self belief. I’m asked these sorts of questions often so I thought the answers might be useful to put in a post.  More information below…

Hi Hemal,
I hope you are doing great. I am reading a book on how to improve my grades in school, and I am on a part which talks about self-belief. I have an exercise to complete which is to ask a few questions to those that I admire the most. I thought that you would be the perfect person to ask. I know that you are a busy man and I won’t mind if you can’t take time to answer these, but I would really appreciate your response.  🙂

1. What compels you to take action and begin any type of work or project?

To follow my inspiration and what feels good (or ‘best’ in that moment).

2. What makes you keep on taking action when you feel overwhelmed? What makes you think you can finish it and do a great job of it?

Staying in the moment as best as possible.  Having faith and ‘knowing’ you will, but staying in the moment and enjoying it regardless of the outcome.

3. Others have not accomplished what you have. What do you think makes you different than them?

It’s not about what others do or not do.  It’s about whether I want to do it and if I do then staying in the moment and doing it.

4. When you have a challenge in front of you, how do you deal with it and how do you get past it?

Don’t see it as a challenge unless it inspires you positively, but focus on the outcome and how you’d like it to be and build that up.

5. What goes in your head when someone tells you that you can’t achieve your goal?

It’s not about what others think, it’s about oneself and their flow and their feelings/beliefs

6. What if you are wrong or if you make a mistake? How do you deal with this?

There are no mistakes.  If something doesn’t quite happen how you’d expect, see it as still fine as you got many other things out of it and what you needed from it you ‘perfectly’ got.

7. Can you provide me with any suggestions to help me develop a successful mindset?

Start with the intention and the application and continue building it.

And check out my free audios and blog!

🙂

Oh my God!!  These are the best answers I could get!!! You are awesome!! 😀 Thank you so much!  I really really really appreciate you taking time to answer them. Have a wonderful week! 😀

Anything YOU’d like to share?  Feel free to share in the comments below.

Jay Lakhani:  There is an Abraham quote: If there is something that you desire and it is not coming to you, it always means the same thing. You are not a vibrational match to your own desire.”  So how can you easily achieve a vibrational match?

The easiest way is by thinking of it and from it. What happens for most people is they let other thoughts get in the way. It’s about thinking about something and by the attention to it (without resistance), letting it build; and it attracts more thoughts, and more thoughts, and then physical manifestation.

Playing with thoughts is one way, eg “Wouldn’t it be lovely for me to be with the love of my life?  How would it feel to drive the car I’d love to have?  How would it be to live in the house I want?  How will I decorate it?”  And so on.  It’s just many people get stuck on the “how to” and their beliefs about it being/not being possible, rather than being open to the possibilities and focusing on the envisioning and letting the Universe find the answers, commensurate with your vibration.

Every thought has a vibration. To be a vibrational match to something, have thoughts about it.

Hi Hemal > Many thanks for the kind contribution, really appreciate your effort! Very nicely explained. Thanks again.

Want to have some tips to staying in Alignment?

FROM BEING DOWN TO BEING IN YOUR FLOW

A few days ago, a friend wrote to me feeling saying that she had been in a wonderful flow and had felt that day that she had – in her words – “crashed”.  She had been feeling great, doing all sorts of things to look after herself, and then all of a sudden she felt things “fall down” all around her and she felt very, very down – down to a degree that she had hardly ever felt. 

She had been intending to become a client before this happened and is about to become one anyway.  I wrote her a message at the time which enabled her to realise how she could get herself back into her flow. 

Within days, she is buzzing and is back in her flow despite how down she was at the time.  She wrote to me this morning with a list of around 10 things that I had mentioned in my message to her which she had organised into a list.  

Enjoy…. 🙂

(To give you the context of some of the points below, I’ve annotated some of them and put the annotations in brackets)

TOP 10 LIST FOR STAYING IN ALIGNMENT

Hi Hemal,

I am going to re-read your note every day for the rest of my life! ha ha  Seriously, there are so many good points that you make there.

1. I love the idea of being “light and easy” with myself. You are right, the easier I allow myself to be, the better I feel! Do not disrupt flow…ok, got it!

(Do not beat yourself up and create resistance from your flow.  Be light and easy and gentle with yourself.  Let the energy flow, and let it build and grow.)

2. No beating self up…stay away from quicksand…excellent point!  Btw, I thought about quicksand a lot as a child…just remembered that…haha

(The languaging she was using was of “crashing” in having come out of her flow.  Understandably, due to the state that she was in at the time, she used the languaging a few times in her original message to me so I asked to her to focus instead on what she wanted (than on what was wrong, i.e. “crashing”).  It’s like quicksand – that’s the analogy I used.  The more we struggle, the more we get pulled in.  The more attention to what we don’t want, the more we ‘fight’, the more we can feel getting sucked in. 

So relax, get your attention away from that.  Don’t put your energy towards it.  Instead, be light and easy because your flow is ALWAYS there, it’s about you letting it in (and not fighting or resisting it).  You are always connected to your flow.  So relax, let it in.  Think thoughts that feel good, they are you letting in your flow.)

3. Relax and know it is ok to concentrate on “me”. I just want you to know that I never knew until a few years back that it is ok to love myself…unfortunately I think a lot of people are unaware of that. (Might make an excellent post for you in the future)

4. Get rid of unwanted thoughts by thinking of being in the “now”. Will try and just revert to breathing technique or mantra…I call on my higher self.

5. Begin thinking of one wonderful thing to appreciate and then add more to the list.

6. Good thoughts = positive flow!

7. Do things that feel genuinely good to you.

8. Do things that energetically have value for you.

(I said to her to consider the things she does, thinks and feels for their ‘energetic value’.  How do they feel?  My sense was she was getting drained because she was focusing on things which energetically didn’t feel great for her and she was ‘getting things done’ and ‘working away’ rather than being in her flow.  She focused on this, as I get my clients to do, and she felt herself driven to do things which were more compelling and had a higher ‘energetic value’ and very easily and naturally her flow came.  I got her to focus on how things felt to herself. 

I have even worked with Law of Attraction coaches in guiding them to making this a way in their lives and their businesses, love lives and many other things have skyrocketed.)

9. Allow yourself to create personal well being doing the things you love.

10. Find your own personal ‘Super’ Coach, like Hemal Radia…:)

By the way, you are absolutely wonderful!

Thanks, things are getting better already…woo hoo!
xox

PS. Maybe you could post this as Hemal’s Top Ten List for Staying in Alignment…

Thanks Hemal for taking the time to respond to my comment, that makes me feel really good 🙂

I have been trying soo hard to be positive and think good thoughts, and i know that we create our own reality but all I am wanting is to be happy and my ex and his entire family are not going to let me be. In fact, it seems that if it’s obvious that I am happy they seem to go out of their way to make me miserable. I just went thru a 2 yr custody battle and won (without an attorney non the less isnt that awesome!!) That was one day i truly felt the power of positive thinking because I went in there and told 100% the truth even though I could no longer afford an attorney and WON!!

But it seems this win has lit a fire under them and now they are trying 10x harder to make things difficult for me. I’m talking EVERY SINGLE DAY there’s either something popping in my inbox from them, prank calls, prank text messages, something coming in the mail, its really getting me down and I’ve even started to gain weight from it all and you know how that is on us women, that is making me even more depressed lol!!

So, I guess what I am asking is, how do I manage to maintain happy and positive in spite of the constant attacks? I certainly don’t think I am bringing this on myself am I? It’s making me miserable and I am already slipping into a depression which is what my ex wants me to do. I fell he just won’t stop until I am destroyed and I know you cant tell from not really knowing me but I am spiraling fast 🙁 Any words of encouragement will be gratefully appreciated.

Thank you again for taking the time to read this and for your lovely daily posts, they mean so much to me, more than you will ever know!!

Much respect,

Shannon

REPLY:

Hi Shannon,

Firstly, I wrote a post on my blog about a year ago which may resonate with you,
As a Single Parent How do I Handle my Ex?

My sense/hunch is that [by your attention to it] you are getting sucked into a fight so to speak. You are focusing on winning this battle and in doing that your attention is in pushing against them and hence you are attracting more of the same, that is just a sense on my part, but you will know best.

The thing to ask yourself is what are you doing all this for? The answer is probably to do with your child and your life, how would you like things to be?  Focus on the positive essences about that (rather than on a battle – which implies being in a battle and attracting more of the same), the things that are important to you about it, regardless of your ex and his family. Take your attention totally away from them and make it about what YOU want and what feels good to you.

Would you be ok with you getting what you want and them getting what they want? That may not be feasible or possible, I’m just asking the question in terms of would you be at peace with them having what they want? Don’t make this about what they get or what they don’t get, make it about the things that feel good to you and are important to you, regardless of them.

Because if you are having the emotions of a scrap, then regardless of them, if they go away then you will attract someone else to fill that space to match the vibration you are giving out (to have a battle). Make it about the essences that feel good – such as the beautiful life that you will have with your child, the things that you will do etc etc – i.e. make it about YOU and totally about YOUR reality, and then others can be drawn to it that match it.

I think the reason you get down is to do with with your attention on them rather than the attention on you.  And of course when you think about them there are emotions which are unpleasant and suck you in…and you think more about it…and it gets bigger, and so on.  Then you have manifestations such as the things that they are doing. And it may not be easy and of course things like ego and pride may come into it, but allow yourself to step away from that situation. Realise anything in life is about YOU, not about anyone else. As you have focused on them and the things that they have been doing it may have angered you or saddened you and of course it created more attention from you on them and it wasn’t allowing you to let it go out of your life.

The way to do that is to envision a life that you would like to be having when all of this is over and feel it now, thus that things can then orchestrate in line with that.  Put the same emotional emphasis to what you would like than on where you are leaving.  What is dominant in your vibration is what you head towards.

This post was automatically imported into my Notes on Facebook.  If you would like to see it and the comments people have been leaving for it then click here: “Battling with an Ex” Note on Facebook.  If you would like to leave a comment you are very welcome to leave one there or in the comments section below.

If you would like to work one-to-one with me on this sort of an issue or another you can find out more information at Work One-to-One with Hemal

You may have started out in life with wonderful dreams of what you will be, do or have.  For some these may be rich and vivid dreams, whether in terms of work and career (or finances, and LOTS of them!), love, family, health and living a wonderful and extravagant life.  For others it may be things which are perceived as being more humble and modest, such as working with the environment, helping animals, working with children, helping those in need, etc.

What happens for many is, as they say, life happens.  Sometimes it may be they end up on a path that veers them away from their original dream.  It may be they take up a job or a career that they believe prevents them from pursuing their dream.  It may be that they get married and/or have children, or something else occurs and they find their time and focus taken up.

YOUR DREAM IS ALIVE

Whatever your dream, it never died.  Your dream has always been alive in your vibration and still is to this day.  Your vibration – just like the Universe and the spiritual part of you – always expands, it never contracts.  Even when you think you have done something wrong or made a mistake, you have never grown smaller but have expanded, always.  You are expanding vibrationally in each moment with the choices and preferences you make in your life.

Your dream has always been alive.

It may be that the dream is not important to you in the same way, and that is fine and that is your choice.  It may be that it was something which at that time aided your growth and experience, and now other things are important, and that is fine too.  In likelihood this will mean that you may have other dreams now too.

So, ask yourself:

– When you think about the dream (or dreams), how does it FEEL?
– Do you doubt you can have it?
– Are you scared of it?
– Are you limiting yourself?  Are you from a place of limitation and fear about it, rather than faith?

YOU ARE ALWAYS EXPANDING ON A DEEPER LEVEL

Realise that you are a vibrational being living a physical life.  You, and everything else, are vibration on a deeper level.  The power that goals and dreams give you is what they do to you vibrationally – such as how you expand when you are excited by them – rather than just the physical world goal or condition you are looking to have.  The goal or condition will be the manifestation of you being a vibrational match to it and will be in your life before you know it, when you are in alignment with it.  It will be a natural consequence and manifestation of your vibration.

So, it is not about whether you can have the dream or not, whether you are scared about it or not, whether you perceive (note: you “perceive” – i.e. it doesn’t mean that’s the reality, it means that’s how you perceive it to be, in your thoughts and beliefs) it is possible or not or whether you ‘perceive‘ it will disrupt your life currently.

What is most important – as I say this in other articles, teleseminars and when I work one-to-one with people – is how does it feel?  You live your physical life with your senses but the spiritual part of you that knows everything (and is ‘God’/the ‘Universe’) communicates to you through your feelings.  It tells you what is best for you at that moment by what feels best at that moment.

It may be that you haven’t practiced your dream for a while.  Allow yourself to daydream.  What if it could happen?  What if it REALLY is there for you?  As you think this, from your place of possibility, notice how real it starts to feel.  And ask yourself, how does it feel?

IT’S NOT ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE AT, IT’S ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE LOOKING

You do not have to forsake the conditions in your life currently for your dream if you do not want to.  If you are in a job and need it to pay your bills or have children that you are looking after or are a house-wife or house-husband, take your attention off the ‘conditions’ and put it on how you WANT THINGS TO BE.  If your attention is on ‘conditions’ what are you attracting more of?  (Clue: “Law of Attraction!”)

As you practice your attention more and more on your dreams what will happen is the Universe will send you clues, it can’t not – as you become more of a vibrational match to something you will attract experiences that match it.

As you continue to practice your thoughts on it, you will get more and more reinforcements along the way.  Your expectations and ‘allowing’ will improve and you will see it more and more.

In terms of the ‘conditions’, what will happen is either they will resolve themselves or they will not be the same issue.  Think of it this way, if your attention goes off the problem – “Oh how in heaven can it happen, I have this and this and this and this that stop me having what I want“, and onto the solution – “Oh I would LOVE this and this and this and this!  Oh it feels SO good to think about what I want!  I’m not going to ‘think’ about it and figure it out, I’m just going to feel good about it and let the Universe hear my vibration and show me it happening“, how can the Universe do anything else but respond?

You came here to be creative and to express the beautiful spirit that you are.  Unleash that within you and allow yourself to think of the possibilities.  Allow yourself to dream and to think in terms of “Well if it IS possible then this will feel good and this will feel good” and so on.  You don’t have to figure out the how.  That wasn’t the deal.  You, from your physical conscious mind, were going to make choices and preferences and the far far far larger spiritual vibrational part of you was going to correspond with Everything-Else-That-Is and create the manifestations.  It just got disrupted when the physical part of you thought you knew it all and were God and tried to overshadow the rest of you.  There is far more leverage and ease when you are in your flow by how you ‘feel’ (vibration, synchronicities, manifestation) than by how you ‘think’ (rational, logic, linear).

You are much much, much more than the physical body you see.  Be in harmony with it and let it flow.  The thoughts that feel good (including your ‘dreams’) are the ones that are in alignment with who you are.  And watch the magic unfold.

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to let you know the “Work one-to-one with Hemal” page has been updated, you are welcome to check it out. 

Feel free to check out the information at the above link and contact me at Hemal@ManifestingandLawofAttraction.com.  Many of you have been asking about it and there will only be so many I will be able to work with one-to-one on a monthly basis.  

This is a beautiful video that Jen Reynolds created.  If you are reading this via the email notification then click here to access this video on the blog.

Thanks Hemal,

I have been wondering about this whole physics, chemistry and biology of manifestation.
How do we differentiate between the ‘signs’ from the universe and our fears and mental blocks?  What if we are repeating the same pattern over and over again and still it feels to be a ‘sign’?

Thank you for your answer : )
Mansi

Essentially the Universe IS an extension of you.  Any ‘signs’ from the Universe are reflections of your OWN vibration.

So if you are getting repeating ‘signs’, that is more an indication of your own vibration rather than the Universe “telling” you to do something.

In this Universe you have total freedom, you can create your reality with your vibration.  The Universe is malleable to your thought and vibration and will respond to it, it is your CHOICE on what you want.  As you shift your thoughts towards the things that you want and vibrate from that place, you will tend to see ‘signs’ from the Universe that match that vibration.  And then you will see them more and more as you get closer and closer and you will experience manifestations along the way.

It is about you following your joy.  The Universe will never ‘tell’ or ‘force’ you.  You are an extension and aspect of the Universe (or of God), you are an expression of it.  It grows when you do.

There are those that believe that destiny is written for them and live their lives with constraints and limitations, and there are those that believe they write their destiny and create it.  It does not matter if you do not fully believe this at this moment, pretend as if you do and see what happens.  Practice that ‘muscle’ like any other. Think and make decisions as if you are in charge of your destiny.  This is also a distinction in being empowered and in charge of your life rather than being disempowered.

Those that believe (or at least pretend as if) they are in charge of their destiny will tend to make choices and decisions from a place of creativity, growth, possibility and expression.  Those that do not will tend to feel limited, they may feel that others are making decisions for themselves.  Sometimes if they do this for long they pick up physical conditions which are a reflection of the limitations they perceive in their thoughts and vibration.

So any ‘signs’ you see are more reflections of your own thoughts and attention.  Ask yourself what do you want to see?  And FEEL and vibrate from that place and see what happens. What if YOU were writing your own destiny, what would you do, be, think, feel, act as if?

What you experience in your life is an indicator of where you are vibrationally (the vibration always comes before the physical happenings) it is your choice where you want to be relative to that.