Thanks Hemal for taking the time to respond to my comment, that makes me feel really good
I have been trying soo hard to be positive and think good thoughts, and i know that we create our own reality but all I am wanting is to be happy and my ex and his entire family are not going to let me be. In fact, it seems that if it’s obvious that I am happy they seem to go out of their way to make me miserable. I just went thru a 2 yr custody battle and won (without an attorney non the less isnt that awesome!!) That was one day i truly felt the power of positive thinking because I went in there and told 100% the truth even though I could no longer afford an attorney and WON!!
But it seems this win has lit a fire under them and now they are trying 10x harder to make things difficult for me. I’m talking EVERY SINGLE DAY there’s either something popping in my inbox from them, prank calls, prank text messages, something coming in the mail, its really getting me down and I’ve even started to gain weight from it all and you know how that is on us women, that is making me even more depressed lol!!
So, I guess what I am asking is, how do I manage to maintain happy and positive in spite of the constant attacks? I certainly don’t think I am bringing this on myself am I? It’s making me miserable and I am already slipping into a depression which is what my ex wants me to do. I fell he just won’t stop until I am destroyed and I know you cant tell from not really knowing me but I am spiraling fast Any words of encouragement will be gratefully appreciated.
Thank you again for taking the time to read this and for your lovely daily posts, they mean so much to me, more than you will ever know!!
Firstly, I wrote a post on my blog about a year ago which may resonate with you,
As a Single Parent How do I Handle my Ex?
My sense/hunch is that [by your attention to it] you are getting sucked into a fight so to speak. You are focusing on winning this battle and in doing that your attention is in pushing against them and hence you are attracting more of the same, that is just a sense on my part, but you will know best.
The thing to ask yourself is what are you doing all this for? The answer is probably to do with your child and your life, how would you like things to be? Focus on the positive essences about that (rather than on a battle – which implies being in a battle and attracting more of the same), the things that are important to you about it, regardless of your ex and his family. Take your attention totally away from them and make it about what YOU want and what feels good to you.
Would you be ok with you getting what you want and them getting what they want? That may not be feasible or possible, I’m just asking the question in terms of would you be at peace with them having what they want? Don’t make this about what they get or what they don’t get, make it about the things that feel good to you and are important to you, regardless of them.
Because if you are having the emotions of a scrap, then regardless of them, if they go away then you will attract someone else to fill that space to match the vibration you are giving out (to have a battle). Make it about the essences that feel good – such as the beautiful life that you will have with your child, the things that you will do etc etc – i.e. make it about YOU and totally about YOUR reality, and then others can be drawn to it that match it.
I think the reason you get down is to do with with your attention on them rather than the attention on you. And of course when you think about them there are emotions which are unpleasant and suck you in…and you think more about it…and it gets bigger, and so on. Then you have manifestations such as the things that they are doing. And it may not be easy and of course things like ego and pride may come into it, but allow yourself to step away from that situation. Realise anything in life is about YOU, not about anyone else. As you have focused on them and the things that they have been doing it may have angered you or saddened you and of course it created more attention from you on them and it wasn’t allowing you to let it go out of your life.
The way to do that is to envision a life that you would like to be having when all of this is over and feel it now, thus that things can then orchestrate in line with that. Put the same emotional emphasis to what you would like than on where you are leaving. What is dominant in your vibration is what you head towards.
This post was automatically imported into my Notes on Facebook. If you would like to see it and the comments people have been leaving for it then click here: “Battling with an Ex” Note on Facebook. If you would like to leave a comment you are very welcome to leave one there or in the comments section below.
If you would like to work one-to-one with me on this sort of an issue or another you can find out more information at Work One-to-One with Hemal
You may have started out in life with wonderful dreams of what you will be, do or have. For some these may be rich and vivid dreams, whether in terms of work and career (or finances, and LOTS of them!), love, family, health and living a wonderful and extravagant life. For others it may be things which are perceived as being more humble and modest, such as working with the environment, helping animals, working with children, helping those in need, etc.
What happens for many is, as they say, life happens. Sometimes it may be they end up on a path that veers them away from their original dream. It may be they take up a job or a career that they believe prevents them from pursuing their dream. It may be that they get married and/or have children, or something else occurs and they find their time and focus taken up.
YOUR DREAM IS ALIVE
Whatever your dream, it never died. Your dream has always been alive in your vibration and still is to this day. Your vibration – just like the Universe and the spiritual part of you – always expands, it never contracts. Even when you think you have done something wrong or made a mistake, you have never grown smaller but have expanded, always. You are expanding vibrationally in each moment with the choices and preferences you make in your life.
Your dream has always been alive.
It may be that the dream is not important to you in the same way, and that is fine and that is your choice. It may be that it was something which at that time aided your growth and experience, and now other things are important, and that is fine too. In likelihood this will mean that you may have other dreams now too.
So, ask yourself:
- When you think about the dream (or dreams), how does it FEEL?
- Do you doubt you can have it?
- Are you scared of it?
- Are you limiting yourself? Are you from a place of limitation and fear about it, rather than faith?
YOU ARE ALWAYS EXPANDING ON A DEEPER LEVEL
Realise that you are a vibrational being living a physical life. You, and everything else, are vibration on a deeper level. The power that goals and dreams give you is what they do to you vibrationally – such as how you expand when you are excited by them - rather than just the physical world goal or condition you are looking to have. The goal or condition will be the manifestation of you being a vibrational match to it and will be in your life before you know it, when you are in alignment with it. It will be a natural consequence and manifestation of your vibration.
So, it is not about whether you can have the dream or not, whether you are scared about it or not, whether you perceive (note: you “perceive” – i.e. it doesn’t mean that’s the reality, it means that’s how you perceive it to be, in your thoughts and beliefs) it is possible or not or whether you ‘perceive‘ it will disrupt your life currently.
What is most important – as I say this in other articles, teleseminars and when I work one-to-one with people – is how does it feel? You live your physical life with your senses but the spiritual part of you that knows everything (and is ‘God’/the ‘Universe’) communicates to you through your feelings. It tells you what is best for you at that moment by what feels best at that moment.
It may be that you haven’t practiced your dream for a while. Allow yourself to daydream. What if it could happen? What if it REALLY is there for you? As you think this, from your place of possibility, notice how real it starts to feel. And ask yourself, how does it feel?
IT’S NOT ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE AT, IT’S ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE LOOKING
You do not have to forsake the conditions in your life currently for your dream if you do not want to. If you are in a job and need it to pay your bills or have children that you are looking after or are a house-wife or house-husband, take your attention off the ‘conditions’ and put it on how you WANT THINGS TO BE. If your attention is on ‘conditions’ what are you attracting more of? (Clue: “Law of Attraction!”)
As you practice your attention more and more on your dreams what will happen is the Universe will send you clues, it can’t not – as you become more of a vibrational match to something you will attract experiences that match it.
As you continue to practice your thoughts on it, you will get more and more reinforcements along the way. Your expectations and ‘allowing’ will improve and you will see it more and more.
In terms of the ‘conditions’, what will happen is either they will resolve themselves or they will not be the same issue. Think of it this way, if your attention goes off the problem – “Oh how in heaven can it happen, I have this and this and this and this that stop me having what I want“, and onto the solution – “Oh I would LOVE this and this and this and this! Oh it feels SO good to think about what I want! I’m not going to ‘think’ about it and figure it out, I’m just going to feel good about it and let the Universe hear my vibration and show me it happening“, how can the Universe do anything else but respond?
You came here to be creative and to express the beautiful spirit that you are. Unleash that within you and allow yourself to think of the possibilities. Allow yourself to dream and to think in terms of “Well if it IS possible then this will feel good and this will feel good” and so on. You don’t have to figure out the how. That wasn’t the deal. You, from your physical conscious mind, were going to make choices and preferences and the far far far larger spiritual vibrational part of you was going to correspond with Everything-Else-That-Is and create the manifestations. It just got disrupted when the physical part of you thought you knew it all and were God and tried to overshadow the rest of you. There is far more leverage and ease when you are in your flow by how you ‘feel’ (vibration, synchronicities, manifestation) than by how you ‘think’ (rational, logic, linear).
You are much much, much more than the physical body you see. Be in harmony with it and let it flow. The thoughts that feel good (including your ‘dreams’) are the ones that are in alignment with who you are. And watch the magic unfold.
I just wanted to let you know the “Work one-to-one with Hemal” page has been updated, you are welcome to check it out.
Feel free to check out the information at the above link and contact me at Hemal@ManifestingandLawofAttraction.com. Many of you have been asking about it and there will only be so many I will be able to work with one-to-one on a monthly basis.
Let me just say that I heard you on My Life Coach’s radio show and was AMAZED at how many jewels I picked up from the talk! Thank you for being you Hemal! -Dawn The Self Esteem Queen, SelfEsteemQueen.com
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I have been wondering about this whole physics, chemistry and biology of manifestation.
How do we differentiate between the ‘signs’ from the universe and our fears and mental blocks? What if we are repeating the same pattern over and over again and still it feels to be a ‘sign’?
Thank you for your answer : )
Essentially the Universe IS an extension of you. Any ‘signs’ from the Universe are reflections of your OWN vibration.
So if you are getting repeating ‘signs’, that is more an indication of your own vibration rather than the Universe “telling” you to do something.
In this Universe you have total freedom, you can create your reality with your vibration. The Universe is malleable to your thought and vibration and will respond to it, it is your CHOICE on what you want. As you shift your thoughts towards the things that you want and vibrate from that place, you will tend to see ‘signs’ from the Universe that match that vibration. And then you will see them more and more as you get closer and closer and you will experience manifestations along the way.
It is about you following your joy. The Universe will never ‘tell’ or ‘force’ you. You are an extension and aspect of the Universe (or of God), you are an expression of it. It grows when you do.
There are those that believe that destiny is written for them and live their lives with constraints and limitations, and there are those that believe they write their destiny and create it. It does not matter if you do not fully believe this at this moment, pretend as if you do and see what happens. Practice that ‘muscle’ like any other. Think and make decisions as if you are in charge of your destiny. This is also a distinction in being empowered and in charge of your life rather than being disempowered.
Those that believe (or at least pretend as if) they are in charge of their destiny will tend to make choices and decisions from a place of creativity, growth, possibility and expression. Those that do not will tend to feel limited, they may feel that others are making decisions for themselves. Sometimes if they do this for long they pick up physical conditions which are a reflection of the limitations they perceive in their thoughts and vibration.
So any ‘signs’ you see are more reflections of your own thoughts and attention. Ask yourself what do you want to see? And FEEL and vibrate from that place and see what happens. What if YOU were writing your own destiny, what would you do, be, think, feel, act as if?
What you experience in your life is an indicator of where you are vibrationally (the vibration always comes before the physical happenings) it is your choice where you want to be relative to that.
This is why some people can eat what they like, exercise very little and still have wonderful bodies, whereas others will “toil” and “strain” and have to “work hard” for it. It is also the same when it comes to money or business, where some people will take certain actions – or even none – and it will work out for them whereas others will do everything they can and do not get there in the same way or the journey is a bit more “difficult”.
So whilst actions are to be commended, there is also another component as well as the actions which is an energetic component or a vibrational component.
That is down to your thoughts about what you are wanting. It is about your alignment. How do you feel about what you want? The better you feel about what you want, the more in alignment you are with it.
In the example above about having a wonderful body, some would say it is about the beliefs a person has and that causes chemical reactions within the body, whether when they eat or when they exercise. The answer is it is all the same thing. Beliefs are clusters of thought – and thought is vibration. Beliefs can be thought of as collective clusters of vibration so to speak and we can answer this with physiological terms or metaphysical terms, it is all the same and fits together. You change your thoughts and practice beliefs by practicing the thoughts you want to have.
Your beliefs – which can be seen as “practiced thought”, and nothing more mystical and magical and “unchangeable” than that – only came into existence by practice (whether deliberately or accidentally) and in fusing with emotion, which can add a bit of “glue” to it so to speak in adding importance to them, e.g. you tend to pay attention to things with love, joy or fear rather than something that has no emotion to it – and because of the emotion they tend to be given a bit more emphasis than that which doesn’t. Which is why when you want to create positive experiences, the more natural positive emotion the better, it adds intensity, permeability and “emphasis” to it. Your beliefs are very changeable and it is about practicing thinking things that feel good, and this is also how you create constructive and EMPOWERING beliefs that support you in what you do and ADD emphasis and energy to what you do.
But it shouldn’t be hard work, think about the things that naturally feel good to you, allow yourself to do that. Oftentimes we don’t allow ourselves to think of what we want or like because we are scared we cannot have it or it is not ok. Let me tell you, in the domain of your own head you can think what you like! And soon enough your reality will change and YOU can tell others how it is, you will shape your reality by your practiced thoughts (and you don’t have to tell anyone how you did it if you don’t want to, just our secret )
This also applies to interpersonal communications. It isn’t really about the “words” you use, but again about the vibrational or energetic component BEHIND those words. Sometimes you may not necessarily say the “right” things but because of your vibrational alignment you will get results. And at other times you may be “trying” to say things a certain way and in your trying too hard there is an element of lack and that is being picked up in your vibration.
So to put it very simply, how do you feel about what you want? The better you feel, the more in alignment you are with it. And then it may not even be about the actions that you take, it may be that the actions are inspired or it may be that as a result of synchronicities that what you want lands right in your lap – and either way it is ok, the Universe is doing what it does in bringing vibrational matches together.