‘Detaching’ and being with a loved one

"I have a question that has been troubling me the past couple of
days… How does one detach from someone when one knows that they are
already there, the love is already incredibly strong, and we have been
trying to get together so much yet obstacles continue to get in the way?

feel like detaching will help with the unification, but it just seems
so difficult and even after many prayers and meditation, it still seems
very difficult to detach from one another in order to complete the
attraction and let our physical beings connect rather than just our
mind and spirit…

Any insight/advice is greatly appreciated!
Thank you


The way to 'detach' is also through 'allowing' and letting it
, and focusing on the GOOD FEELINGS, but not the heavy ones and
not the ones that are trying to figure it out and how it will happen
and so on from your physical perspective. Focus on the enjoyment and
the appreciation and PRESENCE of WHAT YOU HAVE NOW than on the absence
what you would like]

Don't look at what is around you to feel
good, use your imagination if you have to to think of how you would
like things to be. Don't think about what is or isn't here yet. Think
the wonderful thoughts you do in the moment because in that moment they
give you the pleasure, love, joy etc they do

And as you feel
better about things you will be allowing it in and letting it happen
and thus will be less attached (which is what I'm presuming is the
intention of you wanting to be detaching)

So for example you can appreciate the wonderful things in this relationship such as:
-the fact that you and your partner have found each other
-that your love is incredibly strong
-the aspects of each other that you love so much

go of the [issue of the] unification and the 'obstacles' (because what
you focus on expands), soothe your vibration by saying things such as:
-I love my partner so much, and we have a love so strong…
-I realise that things maybe aren't perfect right now but I know they are on the way to being good…
know the universe can orchestrate anything and I know that it will
orchestrate this in my lining up to it (through my allowing, via my
good feelings as mentioned above)…
-I will line up to it by
remembering the positive aspects in that person and in our relationship
and our love and in the Universal orchestration…
-I'll remind
myself that the universe can orchestrate anything – but I have to let
it in and the universe will match my vibration about it…
-As I see my partner and I together the universe will match that…
realise that I may not see things immediately but what is important is
how I feel about it and that will be bringing it to me…

MILKING your Dreams

So, what dreams do YOU have?
Remember to MILK the thoughts, remember
it's not just about the dreams you have but about how you use them to flow
, and that is about how you think about them, HOW GOOD YOU LET

So for example if you want to visit/live on an island, you can describe it in detail, there is power in the specificity…

What is the island like?
What are the people like on it?
The colourful and nutritious (and tasty) vegetation?
What is it like to wake in the morning and hear the ocean waves?
Describe the beautiful sea that you get to experience every morning? How does your body feel when you feel it each morning?
And the wonderful morning sun? And how is it hearing the native birds with their colours and vibrant plumages?
What are the sunsets like? What colours do they paint in the sky?

What fresh and natural foods do you get to experience? How does your body feel in experiencing these?
What is your rich sensory experience in being here?
What is the lifestyle like?
Are you here with your family and loved ones? How is it for them?
What do you do on this island when you 'play'?

Can you see how just in reading these questions your thoughts and feelings have already shifted…?
are already vibrationally closer to all that you want
, just by
considering the above, and you have access to thoughts and ideas you
didn't a few minutes ago as a result of your raised vibration

There is power in specificity.  Where it is not helpful is when you aren't totally clear on your goal and initially  you can 'soften' it by being general or vague about it but as you get clearer and clearer about what you want and as you gather data and information in your day-to-day experience and you hone it and refine it and get clearer and clearer on what you are wanting, there is great power in the specificity, there is a greater FOCUS

That is what creation is about, when you focus you are channeling universal energy through you to manifest on a physical level, in your focusing and alignment – by thinking and feeling FROM your goal – you are lining up with the bigger part of 'You' – The Universe, God, Source, Universal energy, whatever you want to call it – and letting it in.  And as you do that you feel better and better and that is your indication that you are lined up with the bigger 'You' and things are happening.  It doesn't matter what actions you take because in your alignment you will be inspired to take the right actions, say the right things, be in the right places etc.  Actions are very much a physical 'human' concept and alignment (how you feel is an indication of your alignment) is when you are in harmony with the larger (non-visible, non physical spiritual essence) part of the physical planet and Universe.


Fear as a Choice

This is a post that Jodi Nelmes posted on the Universal Law Of Attraction group on Facebook, and below is my reply to her

I want to discuss an experience I just had that made me realize a few
things about fear. What I essentially realized was that fear is a
choice, and something very interesting about fear is why we chose to be
afraid. I guess lots of people chose fear for different reasons, and
maybe for some it is not a choice but I think often we do chose to be

On Monday June 2nd I had open heart surgery. I had a
hole in my heart called an ASD and I got it closed up. In September
2007, I learned that I was going to have open heart surgery so I had a
long time to think about it and deal with the idea. Actually it was
soon after I found this out that I was introduced to movies like The
Secret and Abraham The Secret Behind the Secret. I feel like I did
attract these things into my life because I needed them to help me deal
with what I was facing.

At first I was scared to get this
surgery. The thought of being cut open was quite disturbing. But when I
saw Abraham the Secret Behind the Secret I realized that I am not
defined by my body. I am something bigger than my body and I can have
control over my body. With this realization my fear lessened. Thinking
of myself as an eternal being also helped my fear decrease because I
thought, no matter what happens, everything will be OK.

week before my surgery I did many meditations and tried to feel as much
love and peace as I could. It was during this week that I realized that
I was not really scared anymore. I wondered why I had been scared
before. It was probably the night before surgery that I realized why I
had been scared. I was reading Louise Hay's Heal Your Body and the part
about how all physical ailments are a result of either fear or anger
popped off the page at me. I realized that our bodies give us
indications of how we're out of alignment with our true selves, and
having fear is one of the ways we get out of alignment.

Pink rose

then why was I scared? I think that we chose fear because we think it
serves us in some way. For me it was almost like a programmed fear. I
just thought it is normal to be scared about surgery, so that is what I
felt. In certain situations fear is a good thing to have because it
makes us avoid dangerous situations or it helps us get out of dangerous
situations. For example, if we're in a situation where we need to run
to save our lives, fear releases adrenaline and enables us to have a
physical reaction which helps us escape more easily.

But we
often have fear when it does not serve us in this way. I think that we
think having fear will protect us because in other situations it does.
And then when we are scared we attract that which we fear and we think
this confirms that we were correct to be scared in the first place. But
if we weren't scared we wouldn't have attracted that which we fear so
fear is really not the protective emotion that we think it is in many

The night before my surgery I watched Abraham the
Secret Behind the Secret again and I slept so well that night. I felt
peace and love and I knew I could handle whatever happened. I also knew
that if I chose to be scared it would be more difficult for me to
handle what was to happen. I felt that if I was peaceful and happy my
vibrations of peace would be absorbed by the staff performing the
surgery and everything would go smoothly. Conversely I thought that if
I was scared they would feel my stress. I told myself that I didn't
have to worry about what was to happen when I was under the anesthetic
because I wouldn't really be there. It was not my job to control that
situation in detail it was just my job to be happy.

I feel
that as a result of my peace, and joy going into surgery it went very
well. I used to be very scared of needles but instead of being scared I
said things to myself like, "They are giving me medicine of joy". When
they took the drainage tubes out of my chest while I was awake, I said
"I am releasing the tubes of Joy", and it was actually a pretty cool
experience, instead of one that would have made me faint.

might have been one of the best things that has ever happened to me,
because it has shown me how much I can handle, and it has given me a
greater appreciation for everything in life.

Thanks for this post, Jodi

It's an excellent one about the mind
and spirit and seeing beyond what we have believed our bodies to be,
beyond the physical that we see and calling through to what more there

Dealing with fear, oftentimes for people when they experience
something physical or health related there is a panic, perhaps also
from the (mis)conception that the physical is 'fixed', it cannot be
changed, 'what could go wrong', etc. And the title of your post changes
that perception which once was an instinctive reaction by people, to
considering and realising their instinctive reactions.

'reality' is that your body is constantly replenishing itself and it is
doing it by the blueprint from your thoughts and emotions.

approach of tapping into that larger part of you through your thoughts
and emotions, perhaps maybe initially grabbing onto something for hope,
and working it, and improving the vibration, and improving the
vibration, and improving the vibration and so on, is a wonderful
example and credit to you for your handling of it, and also your
ability to share and communicate it with others.

You also used a word that people don't often use in the same sentence as surgery, 'joy' lol.

Conversation with the Universe

This was something that Bhavini Raicha wrote in a thread in the Universal Law of Attraction group on Facebook and a reply I wrote:

We always tend to communicate with the Universe when we have a problem
or when we want to order something…But it would be great if we could
also communicate with the Universe when something good happens to us
and thank Universe for the wonderful experience.

What do you all think?


Excellent post, Bhavini

Yep, absolutely, people remember 'God'
and the Universe in their despair, and ironically the Universe is set
up to give them 'more of the same' (Law of Attraction) so it is at its
best when 'conversing' (as you put it) when from a good place.

that it's not there to 'help' when in despair, when you are at that
place you have a great focus of energy but the important thing is to
line up with what you WANT than on the absence of it (which is what
causes the despair)

The Universe is always listening and ready to give you more of the same

When you Appreciate and tell it so, but most importantly feel it, it feels that and gives you more of the same
When you Love something and tell it so, but most importantly feel it, it feels that and gives you more of the same
When you are Joyous about something and tell it so, but most importantly feel it, it feels that and gives you more of the same

…and it builds and builds and the attraction grows and grows….

So, what do you think?  😉

Law of Attraction and Focussing on What you Want

These are was an interaction I had with Camilla Levin Lefebre on a thread on the Universal Law of Attraction group on Facebook

I have this desire to expand my business. To open up a bigger shop in town and invest a large sum of money to get a better location.
At the moment my shop is quite small and situated a bit on a side road, not very central in town!
Well, this was my dream for the past year.
Now when I saw a location I like, I feel numb with fear and feel unable to decide what I want……….and I stop feeling excited to move forward!
In fact I can hardly feel the desire I used to feel.
How do I connect with my feelings and find out what I really feel, besides fear……….!

When you saw the location, what went through your mind?
My sense is you triggered thoughts about things that you don’t want (eg fears etc)
What thoughts were there at the time?

And most importantly,
Talk about what your desire and excitement was about the expansion of your business

Any time we feel fear or something that feels uncomfortable we are thinking about something that we don’t want, it’s about getting the focus back on the things that we enjoy.

We can create from either of those places – from an uncomfortable (eg fear) place or from one of excitement, fun, love, and all those good things. From one of those places we create a positive inspiring spiral, from the other one a place which is not so inspiring. You are in a Universe where you have the freedom to create from either, and that’s one of the perks in being such a good creator 😉 Though of course one of them is more comfortable and the journey is A LOT BETTER

So the way to connect with your feelings is to ask yourself more about what excited you, what will you enjoy doing when you expand?  Is it the thrill of working with more people?  Having more interactions?  More stimulation?  And so on.  Think of all the good feelings you experience about your business, and more of the same.

The thought of expansion came because you have a desire for it, i.e. it wasn’t whimsical, it came because you were ready for it, and naturally when one thinks of something new and initially it can seem a new place so other (not so positive) thoughts might come in, and that’s what the creative process is about, it’s massaging the thoughts and lining them up to how you want things to be. Realise that when you are thinking more and more exciting thoughts it is leading you to more and more of the same, thoughts that weren’t previously available, each vibrationally builds on the previous, and each vibration also has a physical (manifestation) consequence too

Hi Hemal,
Nice to hear from you and I appreciate you taking the time to write.
You answer was very helpful and specific and it make very sense to me.
I know it is true that thinking about expanding triggers the fears of things I don’t want and I can now become aware of these feelings and remind myself to refocus and get back to what initially excited me about it

One way (of many ways) you can deal with fears is make a list of them and then work through them if you feel you need to rationally or logically work them out.

For example years ago I was going to invest in a property and at the time it was a new concept to me, so I made a list of all the fears and uncertainties, and then I went through them and had a solution/contingency/answer for each of them. And not just for the action/strategy level, but from a vibrational point of view it creates peace and alignment also (i.e. by lessening fear/resistance etc)

The only thing I’d say with a process where you consider something that is not wanted is not to spend too long on it. i.e. the process is to deal with things and release, gain relief etc, not to dwell, it’s not to dwell and keep attention on what is not wanted, it’s to use the process to release and FOCUS ON WHAT IS WANTED

One’s feelings – their ‘guidance system’ – are a guide to that, the idea is to massage and work with thoughts and get them to a good feeling place, like tuning into a frequency, because that is what brings one in harmony with the bigger picture

Hi Hemal,
That might really be helpful. I know that getting a better location will require a quite large investment and at the same time I also love my freedom to travel and visit my family who all lives in Denmark ( I live in France with my husband ) so this is my biggest concerns.
Will a bigger shop and a large investment demand more of my time, will I need to work more and will I be able to earn a good living with all the extra expanses. These are all the things that I do not really have a answer to;
and who does really!
But making a list sound like a way to see things clearer

You mentioned:

Large investment, hence will I need to work more, will there be sufficient time/money (‘good living’)

So at the moment that is a question you’re asking, and because it is a question you’re asking that is what the universe is likely to respond back with (i.e. uncertainty).

The question about ‘Large investment and will there be sufficient time/money‘ has a mixed vibration, i.e. of what is wanted AND not wanted, and so the solution is to get to a vibration of what is wanted and let the universe match that

What you need to do is practice the vibration of HOW YOU WANT THINGS TO BE.
Think about the scenarios you would like and let the universe shape your reality based on that

Initially you will gently start with some thoughts and as you practice them that will attract more thoughts and more thoughts and more thoughts and it will become easier and more and more familiar, and you will see things around you that will indicate this more and more. But don’t rely on that. Oftentimes what you want can manifest without you seeing indications of it

You will work with the thought more and more and more and your reality around you will take shape based on your vibration about it.

You can ask the universe in a questioning tone or you can offer it an answer for it to match, the universe is malleable and will match any vibration you give it, all realities are possible

So you could start with:
I’m looking at my new shop and noticing how wonderful it is, I’m seeing how easily it runs itself and what a wonderful living I am making from it and the time I get to travel and to visit my family. I see all the things I get to do and the things I get to experience and have the wonderful thrill of this vibrant thriving expansive business
I know there was a time I may have questioned this, but this experience now is so real for me and so exciting and so wonderful and I’m looking forward to all the wonderful and exciting creations ahead

Work on the thoughts and feelings that excite you the most, and let what happens around you mold into shape. The more exciting your thoughts the more they are in harmony with the larger (spiritual) part of you/the Universe

I really love your answer. It is exactly the answer I’ve been searching for….
Yes, I’ve been stuck in the vibration of doubt and lack of faith and I need to get back to my feelings of excitement of what I DO WANT AND HOW I WANT IT…….sometimes is so simple when I get reminded, but the doubt and fear sneeks up on me ever so often.
I guess I need to stay alert and aware and keep getting back to FOCUS…
Just means there is more work to do to get in alignment with what I love to have and do…….
Thank You soo much for making this clear to me again


Posted in Q & A | Tagged

Law of Attraction ‘Equation’

You can have an equation like:

POSITIVE EMOTIONS (Desire, feel-good etc) – RESISTANCE (Attachment, contradictory thoughts etc) = ATTRACTION

ATTRACTION is in the positive then momentum will build and build in
that direction, each thought attracts another and another and so on, by virtue of Law of Attraction more of the same is attracted and one will
have what they want i.e. thought reaches a critical mass and it
reveals itself on the physical

Ok, the above is getting into the
'thinking' side of things (for those who are into that lol) but it's
more about feeling than thinking
, about feeling from what you want