“What do I do when others are negative….How do I ‘Allow?'”

"I find your profile and website both interesting and inspiring, thank you. I am also a fan of Esther and Jerry Hicks' works and The Law of Attraction. In one of their books, it has a section on LOA and then a part called The Art of Allowing. For some recent months I have been following LOA and learning a lot about 'allowing', particularly with a few people that are close to me that share completely different beliefs and values. I have learnt to accept them for who they are and love them unconditionally. But, recently one particular person has been extremely negative, stressed and angry. Seeing as I spend quite a lot of time with this person, it is really hard for me to watch them and 'allow'. What do you suggest I do? I have been meditating on the situation, asking for guidance and focusing on a peaceful, loving, relationship. and sending love and healing to this person when i can.

I have learnt some valuable lessons about myself and my ego, and I am learning a lot about patience at the moment. But, I don't want to watch this negativity anymore!!

Have a wonderful day
Love and light."


It sounds like you are 'tolerating' than 'allowing', it's a subtle distinction.  On some level there is that element of 'that which you do not like' in your vibration. So one thing you can do is soothe it such as:

-Oh I know that this person can be unbearable sometimes, but they have so many other traits which I like about them
-I know there is a reason why they are in my life and why I’d like them in my life, and that is …….
-This person isn’t always like this, at other times they are so <positive qualities>, and I love this about them and this and this and this and this and this and that and this

Also (as mentioned in the lines above), focus on the things you like about them, even if small, and as you focus your attention grows on them, and whilst you're focusing on what you like (and growing) it's not so easy to focus on what you don't like.  When parents say they ‘worry’ about their children because they ‘love’ them, whilst they mean it in a very well intentioned way, ‘worry’ and ‘love’ are two different vibrations [on the vibrational scale], you also know this because they 'feel' different (of course, depending on how each person represents those words internally, but generally speaking).

Vibrational matches

Focus on the vibration of what you want.  Even if it’s not on these people, focus on the qualities you like IN OTHERS if you have to, but just get your attention onto what you like, it doesn’t even have to be about those people that you mention, such that when you come back to them and are around them you will see them from a new perspective and there may be a different vibration you have about it.

When you have a different vibration about something you tend to:
1 – Draw different aspects from the same scenario (eg the same people)
2 – Attract new people which are a match to the vibration

Or a combination.  But the key thing is you are always attracting a vibrational match.


It's all relative to where you're going and and where you are

The thing with sending love, healing etc, is if that works for you then great, the only thing with those things is they imply that there is something that needs to be healed, loved etc, i.e. something on some level that needs healing – which implies something isn’t how you want it or 'should be'. So if initially it works then great, it will get you further up the vibrational scale than where you were, and at higher vibrations you might want to come to it from a viewpoint of what you like and how you'd like things to be and imply that in your thoughts, actions, feelings, etc and forget about why you came to do this or why you’re doing it.  Focus on the aspects that you like because that’s what you do, not because you’re trying to change something or there was something you didn’t like

There is no right or wrong though, so if sending healing or sending love works for you and it feels better, then use that as your indication, your guidance.  It is all relative, relative to what you are working on and where you are coming from and the person that can give you that answer is yourself and your own guidance, which is your emotions.


In 'allowing', you are allowing others to be who/what they are, who they want to be etc  – without pushing back, and you are allowing of yourself too.  It's the pushing back that creates discord and attracts more of the same, it's soothing it and being at peace with it and focusing on what you like, what you appreciate, what you love, that attracts more of that too.  The Universe is a place that gives you total choice and freedom.  There is no assertion – such as asserting on another how to be, there IS attraction, the Universe matches based on vibration.

It's what Life was meant to be about

Life is about these sorts of things, that’s what it’s meant to be about, there you are going along minding your own business and something happens – at that moment you have desires for what you would like.  However because your attention at that time is on the thing that happened, you have your desire, but your beliefs (dominant thoughts) are not lined up to it because you’re still thinking about what happened.  The contrast in what happened creates the desire for what you want.  Your job then is to soothe yourself away from those thoughts of ‘what-is’ and work your way up the vibrational scale to WHAT YOU WANT, and you will find that things around you will change.  99% of manifestations are created before you see them on the physical – your job is to focus on that 99%, the emotional journey that you practice before the manifesting, let the Universe take care of the rest.  In that journey you use your imagination and play with your thoughts (and off ‘what-is’), in fact your journey becomes smoother because your thoughts are more and more about what you want – by virtue of Law of Attraction the momentum builds (so long as you don't contradict it with your thoughts) – and soon enough you turn around and see things are a certain way… 

Your job is to keep your vibrational mix about what you want (and FROM what you want) than on what happened or what is, it’s to play with your thoughts, use games (/processes – but seeing them as games is more fun and you have a better vibration about it) and your imagination to form your reality