When you let go of the ‘need’ for it, you will get what you want

“Hi Hemal,

Nina put me onto your blog and posts, and of course you know they are simply wonderful. Thank you for contributing so much of your helpful knowledge to the rest of us out here living this crazy physical experience.

I was wondering if you knew, or have blogged about anything having to do with baldness. With the knowledge I have now, I can see that I practiced the "I'm going bald and that's it, my dad is bald, etc." for years, and now I am trying to tell a new story and appreciate a full, healthy head of hair. I want all my other balding friends to look at me and say "How the HELL did you do that?  No rogaine?  No transplants?  How the hell is it possible?" Any help you could offer would be very appreciated.

Funny enough, I've searched the web for everything and found a way through the LOA to assist in a positive solution…but baldness is the ONE subject that seems very tricky – no one has a clear cut answer. Or one that I've been able to find, anyway…

All my best”


The process for people to create change in their physical bodies is the same as the process for the changes they try to create elsewhere in their lives; whether it be attracting more money or attracting a lover, etc.  They often have a situation which is of what they don’t want and this creates the contrast – that feeling of wanting something that isn’t here right now.  And the desire of what they want emanates from that.

So it’s softening the perspective on where you are at that moment, this softens the resistance and contrast and lets in the good stuff (which feels good – that is your indication) – you can call it the Universe, Universal energy, God force, spirit, non-physical, whatever you want to call it.  You are allowing it in.  We’ll talk more about it regarding this case later.


When someone is saying “Where is my lover?  Where is my
lover?  Why has he/she not entered my life yet?
”  Implicit in that
asking is doubt and focus on the lack of that person not being in their
life right now, and that attracts more of the same.

It’s the same as someone saying “Where’s my money?  Where’s my
”  Again, it is focusing on the absence of something and it
attracts more of the same.  Some people would call it ‘root looking’ or
‘pulse checking’.  If when you plant something you are regularly
digging it up to check for root growth it is not going to grow so well

The issue you mention here has the same solution as with other issues, and the irony is this: 

As you soften your perspective on the present situation, it won’t be an issue to you any more, but the irony in that is you will get what you want anyway.

It’s like a couple wanting to get ‘pregnant’, they try and try and try for a baby and after a while they decide to adopt.  And when they adopt, all their resistance to ‘not having a child’ goes….and they get pregnant.  When someone ‘gives up’ or ‘surrenders’ they let go of the resistance and thus allow what they want.  The key thing is not necessarily the surrendering but the letting go of the resistance.


Before we have some statements to soften this and talk about your body’s ability to grow, something else as a consideration when people are working on something on a ‘cosmetic’ level….

People are conscious of how they look and how they come across to others especially to the opposite sex.

The thing to realise is that attraction is vibrational.  Before anyone sees you (or hears you or touches you) they have already picked you up (pardon the pun) vibrationally, their attraction and recognition of you is vibrational – the fact they are even in your vicinity is because you are a vibrational match.

The question to ask yourself, is what tone (vibrationally) are you setting, is it one of:
- I don’t like the way I look, I am uncomfortable about one thing or another
- There is something not right about me
- I won’t be liked

- I know that despite how I might look or sound, I like (even love) me
- I don’t need to be or do anything, there are people that will love me for me, and it is ok if I’m not ok for others
(a vibrational match), it wouldn’t have worked anyway – I like who I am and if they’re looking for someone that doesn’t then I’m not a vibrational match
- I like/love me

The whole Universe works on a vibrational level far before anything else, before social conditioning, man-made laws or anything else – which are all composed of 'vibration' and pure potential anyway, they are all made up of the building blocks of the Universe.  With you being in alignment and feeling good about who you are, you are attracting people that match that, or attracting that aspect from those already around you.  You can only attract that which is a vibrational match to you.


Socially you may have thought there were certain opinions about baldness in terms of attraction – as may be the case with any situation, but do realise that through your softening of your own perspective on it, those elements of society will not interest you and those that do will be the ones that match your warm fuzzy feeling about yourself. The aspects of the Universe (and that includes society!) you draw to yourself will be the ones that are a match to your frequency, your vibration.  If you have a certain opinion or self image about yourself you will attract those that are a match to it.


Now you may have read the article on Getting Into Alignment with your Body (particularly the section in it titled "Your Body Literally Responds to your Vibration") which touched on the body’s ability to regenerate and grow.  Your body has the ability to grow hair as well as make other physiological changes.  Everything is malleable by your offering a pure thought and holding your vibration to it, thus attracting more of the same and the momentum building and manifesting on a physical level.

Your body responds when you come from a place of pure (i.e. not contradicted or 'mixed') thought, i.e. not from a place of lack or trying to 'fix' something.  Law of Attraction will give you more of the same, whatever you focus on it will give you more of the same.

Soothing yourself about a situation will let you soften the thoughts that don’t support what you want, the thoughts that are on what you don’t want, so you could say:

- I know I have this and whilst I haven’t enjoyed it, I’m going to take my attention off it and onto how I feel about myself
- I’m not going to let something change how I feel about myself.  My feelings about me are unconditional regardless of the outside.  And what do you know, maybe the outside will change too
- I also know that as I change how I feel about myself, other physiological changes may take place anyway
- I know the body has the ability to create the changes I want, I am here and reading this and have attracted a match in my search for a solution
- I will take my attention off the situation and ‘stop counting’ and instead will start to appreciate the good things in my life, including my body and what I appreciate about it


What would be good to do at that point would be to write a list of the things you DO appreciate about yourself and your body and to practice this.  You could make it a list of 10 things, 20, 50, whatever number you like, and regularly (such as every day) write a new one.  Not necessarily because you are trying to ‘create’ something, but because you enjoy how it feels and how you feel.  Manifestation is about how you feel during the process, the manifestations themselves are natural consequences of you feeling good.  The feelings are indicators of you letting in 'all the good stuff'.

Your vibration will raise and if you feel inspired to remember or think or imagine (whichever feels best) how more and more hair (or whatever the 'condition' was) would look on you you can do so, do what feels good and enjoyable, and do it because of that.  The subject will feel different as a result of your raised vibration, you will not be trying to 'solve a problem' but envisioning and creating something because (at that raised vibration) it feels good.  If it feels heavy then return to softening and resume from there.

Love is you being You

Love is about following the heart. As with most things, all the answers one needs are communicated through the emotions.

Love is not meant to be about obligation or control – they are based on insecurity and fear, you will know how they feel and they feel different from 'true love' – it is about expression and being free flowing, it is about being 'You' and unconditional love.  It is not expecting the other person to be something, it is accepting them for who they are and loving them, and you being You in the same process.  And ironically, when you really do this you have all the love in the world here. 

When you are in this place of love the Universe beats a path  to your door to make it all happen.  The events and synchronicities and happenings all take care of themselves, they can't not, from a vibrational perspective when in love you are 'singing' and attracting all that is a match.  Literally the Universe creates a path for you, with the angels with harps and rainbows and more. 

Perception is projection.  You attract matches.  If you want to attract your soulmate (or have your soulmate be the person you're with), BE from that place and see what happens.  You can attract a person with those qualities or draw those qualities from the person you're with, it's by appreciating who they are than who they're not


Do you need to change your physical suroundings to attract what you want?

I just started reading The Secret, and I understand the Law of Attraction clearly.
What I don't understand are the physical aligning of things. I don't
know what I need to do with my room to attract the things I want. For
example, I want a husband. Do I
need to align things in that particular room for that to happen? 
What should I do to attract love and all these wonderful positive
things humans long for?

The book mentions that you should change your surroundings as if you
have your soulmate with you. For example: there's a story about a lady who stopped taking up
the whole space of the garage, and left some space for her potential
soul-mate's car to park in her garage.

So my question is: Is changing my surroundings a strictly important action to take in
order to attract my soul mate?

To answer your question – no!  You do not have to change your
surroundings or anything necessarily, it is about your thoughts and
feelings – hence your vibration about it.  And as a result you may/will WANT to make certain changes - such as your surroundings or by taking actions or anything else – because they feel good and inspired,
not necessarily because you 'have to'.  So the 'actions' are a consequence of how you feel rather than them being forced necessarily to 'make it happen'.  They are a natural progression of your feelings and your building vibration rather than something 'forced'

Changing surroundings or taking actions may lead to a change in one's vibration, the key IS the change in vibration, so – and oftentimes the easiest and hence most efficient way – what you can do is the practicing of the thoughts and feelings of what you want and that will bring in the new vibration and the consequent physical reality

Some excerpts on Abundance, Money & Relationships from last Saturday’s Teleclass

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  • Abundance is around you, everywhere. The Universe can’t not be abundant, it is inherently abundant, infinite and unlimited
  • You’re letting the Universe reveal the abundance to you that’s here.  Remember that what you want is always here.  All you’re doing is turning the unseen into the seenEverything you want is around you
  • What the physical illustrates is not what is possible but just a projection of the physical mind.  The Universe is your canvas, the artwork you create is as good as your expression of it
  • There is never-ending expansion and growth, NEVER-ENDING


  • Raising your financial set point, just like anything else, is by practicing your vibration about it.  It feeling better and better is a raising of it
  • The things you want – and their essences – help line up your desires to attracting them, practice the vibration of these BEING in your life and you HAVING them.  If you are from the place of them BEING in your life it is much harder (and less likely) to be on the lack side of them


  • See the things, including in yourself, that you are looking for.  In having vibrational familiarity with what you are looking for you will see it more and more [including in others]
  • Ensure the partner you are looking for is an expression of how good you feel (rather than compensating for how you feel)
  • Most people live their lives trying to fix the reflection – with action or by trying to change the physical experience – than working with themselves through their vibration.  There is leverage in working from the vibrational level and consequently the action/physical level will ‘reflect’ the changes made
  • You want your energy lined up (about anything) not split
  • When you work on your alignment you change your relationship with everything.  You are the focal point, it’s like when you change a lens you change everything reflected from it

Law of Attraction: Abundance, Money & Relationships in this Saturday’s Teleclass!

“You are the focal point, when you change the lens you change everything reflected from it”

The content for this coming Saturday’s (Aug 9th) Teleclass includes:

  • Tapping into the Abundance around you
  • Lining up with your essences of Money
  • Can you ‘Attract Someone Specific’?
  • Thoughts on Attracting a ‘Soulmate’
  • And much more on ABUNDANCE, MONEY & RELATIONSHIPS plus answers to the questions YOU submit!
  • Examples of working with processes
  • Practical exercises
  • Do of course send in your questions and make this an even more unique and special experience for you! Send them to hemal@manifestingandlawofattraction.com

For booking details go to http://www.manifestingandlawofattraction.com/loa/2008/07/manifesting-law-of-attraction-teleclasses—book-now.html

If you have missed previous teleclasses you can download them from that link and are still able to purchase them as a bundle ($20 each or $50 for the bundle of all 4 teleclasses)

And remember, even if you can’t attend live you can still submit questions and access the download to them afterwards

It’s about Flow…






‘Detaching’ and being with a loved one

"I have a question that has been troubling me the past couple of
days… How does one detach from someone when one knows that they are
already there, the love is already incredibly strong, and we have been
trying to get together so much yet obstacles continue to get in the way?

feel like detaching will help with the unification, but it just seems
so difficult and even after many prayers and meditation, it still seems
very difficult to detach from one another in order to complete the
attraction and let our physical beings connect rather than just our
mind and spirit…

Any insight/advice is greatly appreciated!
Thank you


The way to 'detach' is also through 'allowing' and letting it
, and focusing on the GOOD FEELINGS, but not the heavy ones and
not the ones that are trying to figure it out and how it will happen
and so on from your physical perspective. Focus on the enjoyment and
the appreciation and PRESENCE of WHAT YOU HAVE NOW than on the absence
what you would like]

Don't look at what is around you to feel
good, use your imagination if you have to to think of how you would
like things to be. Don't think about what is or isn't here yet. Think
the wonderful thoughts you do in the moment because in that moment they
give you the pleasure, love, joy etc they do

And as you feel
better about things you will be allowing it in and letting it happen
and thus will be less attached (which is what I'm presuming is the
intention of you wanting to be detaching)

So for example you can appreciate the wonderful things in this relationship such as:
-the fact that you and your partner have found each other
-that your love is incredibly strong
-the aspects of each other that you love so much

go of the [issue of the] unification and the 'obstacles' (because what
you focus on expands), soothe your vibration by saying things such as:
-I love my partner so much, and we have a love so strong…
-I realise that things maybe aren't perfect right now but I know they are on the way to being good…
know the universe can orchestrate anything and I know that it will
orchestrate this in my lining up to it (through my allowing, via my
good feelings as mentioned above)…
-I will line up to it by
remembering the positive aspects in that person and in our relationship
and our love and in the Universal orchestration…
-I'll remind
myself that the universe can orchestrate anything – but I have to let
it in and the universe will match my vibration about it…
-As I see my partner and I together the universe will match that…
realise that I may not see things immediately but what is important is
how I feel about it and that will be bringing it to me…

Loving Yourself

As on the Outside, as on the Inside.  Everything is a vibrational match, what is it telling you about your feelings for yourself…?

Most importantly, what do you appreciate about yourself?  What CAN you appreciate about yourself?  Just like when you look at a baby or a pet and have feelings of love and appreciation, it is because you are associating to the positive aspects of them and not to negative perceptions – your feelings are very pure.  It’s the same with yourself, what can you appreciate?  And what can you think less of?

There are no limits to how much you can love yourself or someone else, just like the Universe, it is Abundant and Infinite


Posted in Love | Tagged

The Vibration of Love – Love quotes

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Love and Appreciation are amongst the highest vibrations and when you are vibrating from them you are attracting the things you are wanting and more of the same, plus it FEELS GOOD!

The underlying essence in the quotes below is Love….


To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven….Karen Sunde

Love is not a matter of what happens in life.
It’s a matter of what’s happening in your heart….Ken Keyes

In real love you want the other person’s good.
In romantic love, you want the other person….Margaret Anderson

The beginning of love is at the end
of resistance….Danielle Light

Dance like no one’s watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like no one’s listening,
Live like it’s heaven on earth….William Purky

Two parrots

Love is not a matter of counting the years —
it’s making the years count….Wolfman Jack Smith

Love creates an “us” without
destroying a “me”….Unknown

Do you want to know a good way to fall in love?
Just associate all your pleasant experiences with someone,
and disassociate from all the unpleasant ones….Richard Bandler (co-developer of NLP)

The best proof of love is trust….Dr. Joyce Brothers

Love is friendship set to music….Pollock

Love is, above all, the gift of oneself….Jean Anouilh

I love you, not because you are perfect,
But because you are so perfect for me….Unknown

You can’t force someone to love you; all you can do is
become someone who can be loved; the rest is up to them….Unknown

Love simply cannot spring up without that self-surrender
to each other. If either withholds the self,
love cannot exist….Dr. E. Stanley Jones

True love stories never have endings….Unknown

We waste time looking for the perfect lover,
instead of creating the perfect love….Tom Robbins

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction
that we are loved – loved for ourselves, or rather,
loved in spite of ourselves….Victor Hugo

Time is too slow for those who wait,
too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love,
time is eternity….Henry Van Dyke

Love is a canvas furnished by Nature
and embroidered by imagination….Voltaire

Where there is great love there are
always miracles….Willa Cather


Who travels for love finds a thousand
miles not longer than one….Japanese Proverb

To love and be loved is to feel the
sun from both sides….David Viscott

Love is an energy – it can neither be created
nor destroyed. It just is and always will be,
giving meaning to life and direction to goodness…
Love will never die….Bryce Courtney

Love talked about is easily turned aside,
but love demonstrated is irresistible….Stan Mooneyham

Immature love says: “I love you because I need you.”
Mature love says: “I need you because I love you.”….Erich Fromm

Love has nothing to do with what you are
expecting to get — only with what you are
expecting to give — which is everything….Katherine Hepburn

Love is the triumph of imagination
over intelligence….H.L. Mencken

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the
imagination and bottling the common-sense….Helen Rowland

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities
or pride; so I love you because I knew no other
way than this, where ‘I’ does not exist, nor ‘you’.
So close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so
close that your eyes close as I fall asleep….Pablo Neruda

To love without expected return on my investment
frees me to love with purity of heart, mind and soul…
I am not distracted by selfish motive or disappointed
by insensitivity…I am free to love…just love….L. Hodge

Once you have learned to love,
You will have learned to live….Unknown

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away…..

Sunset for two





Posted in Love | Tagged

Dealing with Mixed Emotions and Raising Vibration (in a Relationship)

Xio talks so much about you and she said you have been a wonderful resource.
At this point in my life I feel that I still haven’t found what I am looking for in life, I am very blessed I have a wonderful daughter who
is MY LIFE, but with my husband on the other hand I feel very empty we have
been together for almost 16 years.  I wish him the best, sometimes I feel
that I might love him but them when I am too close to him I don’t. I
don’t know what it is , I wish I could tell you. It might be too much
anger. I thought maybe through the law of attraction I can find answers
to my issues. Thank you Hemal


I will list out what I think are the most important parts in this:

-At this point in my life I feel that I still haven’t found what I am looking for in life
-I am very blessed I have a wonderful daughter who

-but with my husband on the other hand I feel very empty
-I feel
that I might love him but them when I am too close to him I don’t. I
don’t know what it is , I wish I could tell you. It might be too much


Let’s start with them, though not in that order

I feel
that I might love him but them when I am too close to him I don’t. I
don’t know what it is , I wish I could tell you. It might be too much

In reading that, of course anger suggests that either something has happened and/or you have anger about something else and blame him.  Whatever it is is not crucial, because whatever you feel and for whatever reason you are feeling it, and you work with your experience.  When someone feels something they will also tend to see more of it (have you bought an item of clothing and started seeing all the other people that are wearing something similar? lol)- we tend to see and attract more of the same of what we are feeling.

So ask yourself, how do you feel about the relationship?  Is it worth making peace with the ‘anger’ so you can focus on more of what you want?  You see, it’s not about the relationship, it’s about doing this for yourself.  If someone leaves one relationship and does not change how they think/feel they will attract similar situations in another (or other friendships/relationships) because whilst they have moved physically, they have not changed their vibration.  So they feel ‘Why does this keep happening to me?’ or ‘What’s God/The Universe got against me for keeping on punishing me?’  It’s totally to do with vibration.

I’ve known people who have moved countries to ‘get away from things’ and because they are thinking the same things they attract similar scenarios.  And of course there are many times where this doesn’t happen either, because the new environment stimulates them differently and they don’t have the same thoughts/feelings as before, but as in all cases, the common denominator are the thoughts and feelings of the individual.

So work on the anger for yourself, and this relationship – or whatever else – will be an expression of You.

Ask yourself does the anger hold any purpose?  When we get the learnings from a situation we tend to feel better and better about letting it go (the emotions) and moving on.  Actions are not necessary, changing our feelings is the most important (and actions can come as a consequence of that), but for many people having conscious learnings helps them to ‘let go’. 

So someone might say ‘If I could say "No" rather than saying ‘Yes’ all the time I’d feel I don’t need to have the emotion (whatever it might be) to protect me‘.  So if they have the learnings (in this case to be able to say ‘No’) they can let go of the emotion, which is the most important thing.

So ask yourself, ‘What do I need to think, feel, do so I can let go of the emotions?  I know that when I make peace with the present, when I soothe the emotions, when I feel ‘less bad’, when I feel ‘better’, I know that then not only am I feeling better but I know that I am more in harmony with the rest of the universe in supporting me with what I want’

When the universe is in harmony with you things will orchestrate themselves, things even beyond man-made laws and what you may think it’s possible, things will happen which you didn’t expect, things will surprise you, maybe people will say things to your certain way, or some things will happen, these will be things even beyond what you can consciously imagine and it’s not your job to figure out the ‘how’

We will talk more about ‘feeling better’ in….


-but with my husband on the other hand I feel very empty
-At this point in my life I feel that I still haven’t found what I am looking for in life


These both seem quite similar in that they suggest an absence of certain feelings; good feelings, things that excite you, things that make you feel alive, things to move towards, etc.

There are many ways to feel better about things, firstly it starts with making peace with the present, making peace with the Now, which we touched on in the previous section.  Sometimes it is not easy to think about ‘feeling good’ until we have dealt with feeling ‘less bad’ and making peace with the Now, and then comes a point when we have to focus on ‘feeling good’ so as to get our attention off the ‘feeling less bad’ we were moving on from.  So for now, let’s assume that that has been done,

So, ways to feel better can include:

-Think back to times when you DID feel good about your husband, when you were excited, when there were many things happening and you were looking forward to what was ahead.  Not necessarily because you want to make this relationship work (or not) but because you are looking for things that felt good, that is the only criteria in this

-Think about the aspects that you don’t think your husband is reflecting at the moment – let that be an indication of the aspects that you’re not focusing on WITHIN YOURSELF.  Start thinking and practising the thought of having those aspects in your life

So for example if you say you don’t feel loved, practice on how it feels to be loved.  When you change how you feel about yourself you change how others feel about you too and either you will draw those aspects from those people or you will attract people will reflect those aspects to you, at the end of the day everything you attract is a reflection

-Think about what the future might hold, or I don’t know what your choices will be in terms of the relationship with your husband in the future, but think about a relationship you are in in the future and how it feels, how is it to have the things that you want.  Again, this is just another way of practising thoughts that feel nice.  You are just using the frame of having something in the future as a way of allowing yourself to feel things a certain way. You could imagine it now, you can imagine it in a relationship in the past – it doesn’t matter – the most important thing is that your attention is on things that you WANT

-You can make a list of the things missing right now, whether in your life or in a certain relationship, and use that to identify what you DO want, and then practice feeling as if you would have them, feeling FROM having them

When you have lined up vibrationally you will not pay attention to the things that you used to, you will start to see things in a different way, you will see others differently in time, you will start to see the qualities of what you want in your experience, and that in itself will attract more of the same (Law of Attraction).  You will not be attracted to the same types of interactions as before, because the interactions that you are attracted to will be more in harmony with what you want from your new vibrational persepctive.


A wonderful example of this is:
-I am very blessed I have a wonderful daughter who

Notice how that statement feels compared to everything else (the previous statements for example), there’s a certain lightness, a certain light, easy – perhaps fun – feeling, a very different vibration.  You know that there is no ‘empty’ feeling here.  This feeling is very very easy and very natural to you, you are working on getting your vibration about other things to this sort of place.

Another way of describing this vibration is ‘pure’ i.e. it is not contradicted, what I mean by that is it is not mixed, there is no doubt, it is very clean and pure and you know EXACTLY how it feels – by how it feels – and there is no doubt, and when you talk about it to others they feel it too.



Love & Appreciation

When one is celebrating and appreciating they cannot be complaining or looking at lack, it is a totally different vibration and different on the vibrational scale.

If you look at the things you like or love in a person and have your attention on that it is harder to think of the things you don’t, and from that place of love and appreciation it grows, not just for that person but for everything else.  You appreciate another thing, and another, and another, and another, and it grows and grows, you start finding things happening, little coincidences, people calling you up to say hi, or people smiling at you or being friendly, or making new friends, or chance encounters, or little things that tell you that the universe is reciprocating your appreciation and love.

For you cannot have appreciation and love without attracting more of the same.  So at first whilst it started by focusing on appreciating some qualities, it has expanded to so much more, and given you real life physical evidence to appreciate.  It started with you placing thought and feeling first, by having faith and trust, and unconditionally holding that thought, saying that ‘I will hold myself to this not because it has to be in my physical reality but that it feels good and I love being here’ and with no resistance about it having to be in your physical reality, and just feeling good about it, it happens so easily around you.

And through your own connection you inspire others, they love being around you because ‘it just feels nice’, they feel inspired, and they may not be consciously thinking about things but they find themselves appreciating others a bit better, loving a bit more, being a bit more patient, being from a place of gratitude, from love, perhaps even loving themselves more, and they may not even be thinking about it, but they’re just feeling good as a result of the contact with you…all because you started out on focusing on some nice qualities…..


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