Are You a People Pleaser?

 

Are you a people pleaser?

Do you find yourself taken off your own path and busy trying to keep other people happy?  Do you find that when you start something you want others to value it too?

On yesterday’s Manifesting Excellence call I answered a question which many will resonate with (paraphrased for confidentiality):

“Why do I feel so afraid to follow my own path?  I’m trying, but I start feeling guilty about everyone else.  I want people to like what i like and then get down when they don’t.  Then I start thinking I should change something to make them like what I’m doing.”  (excerpted)

 

Does any of this resonate with you?  Do you find yourself out of your flow or “up and down” because of others?

Here are some questions to ask yourself to look into this:

1 – What emotions come up for you if you don’t do what will please others?

Identify which emotions are you ‘attaching’ to this dynamic with this person.  The first step is awareness, after that you can do something about it.

For some people it could be emotions, for example, around abandonment or survival.  These can be strong in ‘attaching’ them to others.  You want to be around others from the natural expression of your own spirit and empowerment, not from a place of ”need’ or validation.

 

2 – What would happen if this person wasn’t in your life?

What would you feel?  What would be missing?  This is not for someone to not be in your life, but for you to be aware of the emotions you have attached to this dynamic which are taking up space and energy from what you want.

In having awareness of this you can release these emotions and have space for the relationship with this person that you DO want - that is if you choose to have anything to do with them and if it is healthy for you to do so.

 

3 – What would happen (or not happen) or what would you feel if you followed your path?

Do you need any validation or confirmation from others about what you do?
What would happen or not happen if you didn’t get this validation or approval from others?
How would you feel about it?  How does it make you feel about yourself?  What thoughts come up for you?
What if others are against what you do?  How does it make you feel?  What emotions come up in you?

 

What experiences have you had or are you having in relation to others?
What have you found has worked for you in dealing with it?

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

 

If you’d like to access the audio of the call yesterday where I answered this in detail you can access it at Manifesting Excellence.

 

Cockatoos and Macaw