Firstly, Happy Valentine’s Day!

At the weekend I received an email from a former client of mine, Tiffany Kay.  Last year, we worked on various areas of her life, including relationships.  I knew the dynamics that were in play and offered specific advice and processes (as well as those that she would create for herself too) that she could use which we would interact about in our sessions. 

You see, I know what happened…Tiffany is getting married this year!  So I thought you might like to know about her story.  And so I asked Tiffany to write it in her words and I would tweak it and share it with you here…

Tiffany:

RELATIONSHIPS HAD ALWAYS BEEN A CHALLENGE FOR ME
 

“Relationships had always been a challenging area for me. I know that I always had high expectations that the “right” relationship could be deeply inspiring, fulfilling and supportive, I just wasn’t able to manifest the quality of experience I was looking for. 

I discovered the Law of Attraction through the work of Gill Edwards, which led me to study the teachings of Abraham. Although this was enlightening and changed my whole perspective on life, I couldn’t seem to apply it in practice.  There still seemed to be something missing, I just didn’t know what “it” was until I connected with Hemal Radia via Facebook. I was regularly inspired by Hemal’s posts and particularly how he helped to clarify the Law of Attraction principles an in easy (and often effortless) way.

CONNECTING WITH HEMAL

This led me to contact Hemal about his one-to-one service and we worked together for a number of months to help me to apply the principles of creation and manifestation to my life. I found Hemal’s insights to be incredibly beneficial. I could take a particular experience and work through it with Hemal’s guidance to really understand how the mechanics of the Law of Attraction meant that I was not lining myself up with what I wanted.

One of the most significant revelations for me was the realisation that what was missing from my relationships was me. I came to understand that I was not creating the relationship I wanted, I was creating the version of me that would be living the inspired relationship. That’s why Hemal’s book “Find You, And You Find Everything” is so aptly titled.

For the next few months, I focused all of my energy on developing the type of inner relationship that would allow the external partnership to manifest. I treated myself with the love, kindness and respect that I would want with a partner. My Saturday nights became my own “date night”.  I would stay in and treat myself to a DVD or a hot candlelit bath or something else that felt indulgent. After years of dreading Saturday nights, they became the most special time of the week for me.

WANTING TO MEET MY SOULMATE

On my birthday in June last year, after another near miss relationship had painfully and abruptly ended, I made a decision that I would no longer settle for anything but my soulmate and I set an intention that I was going to meet him over the next twelve months, before my 40th birthday.

I enlisted the support of my best friends as external monitors and gave them permission to challenge me if they felt that I was doing anything to distract myself or that wasn’t in my highest and best interests and aligned with meeting “The One”. 

I wrote out a “spec” describing in detail what my future husband would be like. I have a beautiful box that my friend gave me called “My magical creation box” and I put my wish list in there.

Pretty soon, I started to notice changes in my life. I would see couples out for a walk and holding hands and kissing and my heart would leap with joy.  I went to bed at night and would dream of my future husband. I reached the point when the anticipation of my lover-to-be felt as real and exciting as if he had actually shown up!

MEETING SOMEONE

As part of my intention-setting and following a suggestion from my best friend, I signed up to an online dating service.  For me at that time, it was purely part of putting the intention out there. I wasn’t “expecting” an instant result, but I was to get to be pleasantly surprised.

On the first day of my membership, I got an ice-breaker email from a guy on the site.  We exchanged emails and he seemed great.

Due to logistics and childcare, it took us about 6 weeks to get together and meet up. I liked him immediately but I found myself holding back and not wanting to “rush into things”.

On our third date something really bizarre happened. I was sitting opposite him having a drink and this voice behind me, clear as day, said “You really like him, more than you think”. I turned round to see who had said it and as you can probably guess, there was no one there! It was my inner guidance speaking to me.

When I reflected on what was holding me back, I realised I didn’t want to give up my special Saturday nights. I found that hilarious. Now I had actually “man-ifested” what I wanted, I hadn’t updated my model of how much fun shared Saturday nights could be.

MARRIAGE…

Things progressed really quickly after that and within a couple of weeks we were discussing moving in together. When you find someone who is completely easy to be with and totally compatible, you just know that it is right and it just seems like the inevitable next step. Our conversation moved quickly onto marriage, we got engaged just a few weeks later. Tim and I are now planning our wedding for 26 August.

As I reflect on the path to my inspired relationship, I really do understand that the real journey was developing my strong inner relationship that allowed me to create what I wanted on the outside.”

Do let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

In her new book, Tiffany shares the secrets that she learnt along the way, not just from her own experiences but with her clients too.  She has recently entered this book into the International Next Top Self-Help Author competition. You can find out more about the book and vote for her in the competition at “Love to the Max ~ Creating Inspired Relationships That Last”.  Every voter will receive relationship resource goodies worth nearly £100, as well as every vote counting and helping her progress to the next round.
 

Hemal specialises in bringing out the best in his clients and getting them to the results they are wanting. To find out more about working with him and to book, go to Work One-to-One with Hemal.  

When we have decided we will spend the rest of our lives with someone (or it feels that way), and it doesn’t quite work out that way, we have to deal with the emotions about that, the dynamics of the relationship, as well as all the other emotions in play. It can be a time of upheaval.  Remember what it was always about: you went into a marriage/relationship for happiness, love and joy.  Let that be the light for you to head towards – these emotions, even if at the time they might appear in the distance.  Remember also that perspectives and circumstances change very quickly in your changing attention – ‘things’ and solutions appear where they weren’t appearing previously.

The marriage or relationship was meant to be a reflection of these emotions for you, not a replacement.

Avoid getting pulled into the dramas. They take you away from your true self and your true authenticity. You went into a relationship for two wholes to create something special together. It is still about something special (it always is) – You. And despite there being another, you could only have something special together, from your own specialness individually; that has not changed anyway.

When a relationship (or anything) ends it seems like the end of something. Consider that the ending of the relationship (or anything) was actually part of the process of something new beginning.

The relationship served it’s purpose and all possibilities are open to you in your now, as they always have been. They are open to you from your true self and your true authenticity.  Not from games, smoke and mirrors, and distortions.  All those things hide the real you. And if you feel the need to be scared and not yourself, what is it that you are (vibrationally) communicating to the rest of the Universe?

Realise your power is within you, not on what happens outside of you (which is a reflection), and in your now.  And despite what has happened with this other person, you are no less adored and loved.

The Universe totally adores you unconditionally, it always has, other than the doubts and conditions you filter that love and ‘energy’ through. 

Remember to look for the indicators in your experience of how you are blessed and what you DO have, than what you don’t.  Sometimes we can look at something that has ended or is ending and feel regret and sadness, especially if we are not wanting it to end.  It may seem like a loss of your whole world.

Realise that this relationship was something that you made your world, it was something that you expanded to make your world, by your attention to it.  When something then turns not so pretty, it can be uncomfortable.  Withdraw your attention from it, and balance it with the rest of your world that has always existed, that you had selectively filtered out whilst you focused on the relationship.  You are just shifting your perspective from this person or situation to be in balance with everything else.  Previously, when things were good, because they were good, you chose to shift the balance and make it your predominant focus.  Now, as you move on for now, you are shifting the balance, and creating space for other things in your life.  And of course, the Universe responds in kind with new energy.

There is an abundant and infinite stream of what can come into our lives.  When we hold onto things due to our emotional attachments, we are not allowing the space and freedom and possibilities of what else may come into our lives.  We can use fear to hold onto things, or trust and faith to allow this energetic stream.  It’s not really about the relationship with the other person, but the relationship with ourselves and our own divinity.