For a number of years I have been linked with being a Law of Attraction and Manifesting teacher, coach and author. Behind all that, and with over 15 years of experience, is in helping people create lasting change in their lives.
Law of Attraction and Manifesting don’t tend to work if you are not in alignment with a new ‘you’. It’s about creating integrated and ‘whole’ change in alignment with who someone is.
At this time of year, people are thinking ahead to creating changes in their lives. I will be working with my clients and those on my Manifesting Excellence Group Coaching calls to envision a wonderful 2012 for themselves. People often find that the changes they make do not ‘stick’. Here are 5 tips to making change last for you –
1 – Integrate it With the Rest of You
Change doesn’t often ‘stick’ when there is some element of you that conflicts with it. Some emotion or belief or value or ‘attitude’ conflicts with the new change and eventually ‘overrides’ it. Also, ensure it is congruent with who you are, your identity, and how you see yourself.
Have an internal check, does this change feel congruent? Is there any resistance or conflict to it? If so, identify and align it.
2 – The Motivation Behind the New Change
Are you motivated to making the change for someone else or from a place of imbalance, such as to address a fear, insecurity or something else? In likelihood the change may not have as much motivation or ‘power’ behind it to last than something resonant with the core of your being. This can be relative in that at times fears may motivate us (because we are emotionally/energetically in that place); use the greatest motivation for yourself at this moment, and go from there.
If the intial spur of motivation is from someone else, identify YOUR motivations for making this change. It will tend to ‘stick’ better that way.
3 – See it in Your Past and Future
You could imagine having this behaviour or this change in your past and future, and as a result imagine how it would feel if you are very familiar with it.
When someone is giving up something, such as changing their diet or something else, what leads to them regressing is they have had the identity of their ‘old self’ for years and so the change doesn’t last. Their mind sees them how they were and doesn’t integrate the new change.
Change how you saw yourself. Change how you see yourself in your future.
Changes can happen in minutes. It’s a matter of choosing to see oneself a certain way and doing this with internal alignment.
4 – Accountability
Some find that it can be motivating to be accoutable to someone in entraining a new behaviour. Kind of like having a training partner to meet you each morning if you are going to be wanting to going to the gym regularly.
This can be useful, if it’s something that resonates with you, particularly in the short to medium term, and based on the dynamics with the person you are being accoutable with. In the long term, you may want to entrain the behaviour to a degree that it becomes a habit and a way for yourself or you have love for the process.
5 – Love for the Process
This is probably the most important.
If you can love something enough, and not have objections or resistance within yourself to doing it (such as ‘not enough time’ or ‘I can’t get round to it’, or other conflicts), in likelihood you have a habit or behaviour that will last.
Oftentimes people start a behavior for the outcome – for example they want to exercise to lose weight, they want to make financial decisions to create a nest egg, they want to do things for their partner to add spice to their love life, etc. The key, ideally, is to be in love with the process and the outcome takes care of itself.
If you love adding spice in your relationship, your partner will feel it – including in your energy. If you entrain a mindset and love exercise, in likelihood the weight will come off, or the benefits to self esteem and one’s own flow will make it more of a non-issue.
Loving the process is different to someone doing a process just for the sake of an outcome and not having the energetic alignment to it. Loving the process aligns your energy to the process, and makes the desired outcome more likely to happen.
Loving a process is not just a matter of getting ‘lucky’ in liking something, it’s about the perspective you have about it. We have all had the experience of loving something we once didn’t, because we changed how we saw it.
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