I have received a surprise just now when Emma Turner of http://www.7thspace.co.uk has let me know she has created a video of my “Love is you Being You” article!

If you are reading this in an email, CLICK HERE to go to this post on the blog and view the video.

If you would like to view this on YouTube then CLICK HERE.  (You are welcome to rate it and put a comment if you would like to!)

Thanks Hemal for taking the time to respond to my comment, that makes me feel really good 🙂

I have been trying soo hard to be positive and think good thoughts, and i know that we create our own reality but all I am wanting is to be happy and my ex and his entire family are not going to let me be. In fact, it seems that if it’s obvious that I am happy they seem to go out of their way to make me miserable. I just went thru a 2 yr custody battle and won (without an attorney non the less isnt that awesome!!) That was one day i truly felt the power of positive thinking because I went in there and told 100% the truth even though I could no longer afford an attorney and WON!!

But it seems this win has lit a fire under them and now they are trying 10x harder to make things difficult for me. I’m talking EVERY SINGLE DAY there’s either something popping in my inbox from them, prank calls, prank text messages, something coming in the mail, its really getting me down and I’ve even started to gain weight from it all and you know how that is on us women, that is making me even more depressed lol!!

So, I guess what I am asking is, how do I manage to maintain happy and positive in spite of the constant attacks? I certainly don’t think I am bringing this on myself am I? It’s making me miserable and I am already slipping into a depression which is what my ex wants me to do. I fell he just won’t stop until I am destroyed and I know you cant tell from not really knowing me but I am spiraling fast 🙁 Any words of encouragement will be gratefully appreciated.

Thank you again for taking the time to read this and for your lovely daily posts, they mean so much to me, more than you will ever know!!

Much respect,

Shannon

REPLY:

Hi Shannon,

Firstly, I wrote a post on my blog about a year ago which may resonate with you,
As a Single Parent How do I Handle my Ex?

My sense/hunch is that [by your attention to it] you are getting sucked into a fight so to speak. You are focusing on winning this battle and in doing that your attention is in pushing against them and hence you are attracting more of the same, that is just a sense on my part, but you will know best.

The thing to ask yourself is what are you doing all this for? The answer is probably to do with your child and your life, how would you like things to be?  Focus on the positive essences about that (rather than on a battle – which implies being in a battle and attracting more of the same), the things that are important to you about it, regardless of your ex and his family. Take your attention totally away from them and make it about what YOU want and what feels good to you.

Would you be ok with you getting what you want and them getting what they want? That may not be feasible or possible, I’m just asking the question in terms of would you be at peace with them having what they want? Don’t make this about what they get or what they don’t get, make it about the things that feel good to you and are important to you, regardless of them.

Because if you are having the emotions of a scrap, then regardless of them, if they go away then you will attract someone else to fill that space to match the vibration you are giving out (to have a battle). Make it about the essences that feel good – such as the beautiful life that you will have with your child, the things that you will do etc etc – i.e. make it about YOU and totally about YOUR reality, and then others can be drawn to it that match it.

I think the reason you get down is to do with with your attention on them rather than the attention on you.  And of course when you think about them there are emotions which are unpleasant and suck you in…and you think more about it…and it gets bigger, and so on.  Then you have manifestations such as the things that they are doing. And it may not be easy and of course things like ego and pride may come into it, but allow yourself to step away from that situation. Realise anything in life is about YOU, not about anyone else. As you have focused on them and the things that they have been doing it may have angered you or saddened you and of course it created more attention from you on them and it wasn’t allowing you to let it go out of your life.

The way to do that is to envision a life that you would like to be having when all of this is over and feel it now, thus that things can then orchestrate in line with that.  Put the same emotional emphasis to what you would like than on where you are leaving.  What is dominant in your vibration is what you head towards.

This post was automatically imported into my Notes on Facebook.  If you would like to see it and the comments people have been leaving for it then click here: “Battling with an Ex” Note on Facebook.  If you would like to leave a comment you are very welcome to leave one there or in the comments section below.

If you would like to work one-to-one with me on this sort of an issue or another you can find out more information at Work One-to-One with Hemal

You may have started out in life with wonderful dreams of what you will be, do or have.  For some these may be rich and vivid dreams, whether in terms of work and career (or finances, and LOTS of them!), love, family, health and living a wonderful and extravagant life.  For others it may be things which are perceived as being more humble and modest, such as working with the environment, helping animals, working with children, helping those in need, etc.

What happens for many is, as they say, life happens.  Sometimes it may be they end up on a path that veers them away from their original dream.  It may be they take up a job or a career that they believe prevents them from pursuing their dream.  It may be that they get married and/or have children, or something else occurs and they find their time and focus taken up.

YOUR DREAM IS ALIVE

Whatever your dream, it never died.  Your dream has always been alive in your vibration and still is to this day.  Your vibration – just like the Universe and the spiritual part of you – always expands, it never contracts.  Even when you think you have done something wrong or made a mistake, you have never grown smaller but have expanded, always.  You are expanding vibrationally in each moment with the choices and preferences you make in your life.

Your dream has always been alive.

It may be that the dream is not important to you in the same way, and that is fine and that is your choice.  It may be that it was something which at that time aided your growth and experience, and now other things are important, and that is fine too.  In likelihood this will mean that you may have other dreams now too.

So, ask yourself:

– When you think about the dream (or dreams), how does it FEEL?
– Do you doubt you can have it?
– Are you scared of it?
– Are you limiting yourself?  Are you from a place of limitation and fear about it, rather than faith?

YOU ARE ALWAYS EXPANDING ON A DEEPER LEVEL

Realise that you are a vibrational being living a physical life.  You, and everything else, are vibration on a deeper level.  The power that goals and dreams give you is what they do to you vibrationally – such as how you expand when you are excited by them – rather than just the physical world goal or condition you are looking to have.  The goal or condition will be the manifestation of you being a vibrational match to it and will be in your life before you know it, when you are in alignment with it.  It will be a natural consequence and manifestation of your vibration.

So, it is not about whether you can have the dream or not, whether you are scared about it or not, whether you perceive (note: you “perceive” – i.e. it doesn’t mean that’s the reality, it means that’s how you perceive it to be, in your thoughts and beliefs) it is possible or not or whether you ‘perceive‘ it will disrupt your life currently.

What is most important – as I say this in other articles, teleseminars and when I work one-to-one with people – is how does it feel?  You live your physical life with your senses but the spiritual part of you that knows everything (and is ‘God’/the ‘Universe’) communicates to you through your feelings.  It tells you what is best for you at that moment by what feels best at that moment.

It may be that you haven’t practiced your dream for a while.  Allow yourself to daydream.  What if it could happen?  What if it REALLY is there for you?  As you think this, from your place of possibility, notice how real it starts to feel.  And ask yourself, how does it feel?

IT’S NOT ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE AT, IT’S ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE LOOKING

You do not have to forsake the conditions in your life currently for your dream if you do not want to.  If you are in a job and need it to pay your bills or have children that you are looking after or are a house-wife or house-husband, take your attention off the ‘conditions’ and put it on how you WANT THINGS TO BE.  If your attention is on ‘conditions’ what are you attracting more of?  (Clue: “Law of Attraction!”)

As you practice your attention more and more on your dreams what will happen is the Universe will send you clues, it can’t not – as you become more of a vibrational match to something you will attract experiences that match it.

As you continue to practice your thoughts on it, you will get more and more reinforcements along the way.  Your expectations and ‘allowing’ will improve and you will see it more and more.

In terms of the ‘conditions’, what will happen is either they will resolve themselves or they will not be the same issue.  Think of it this way, if your attention goes off the problem – “Oh how in heaven can it happen, I have this and this and this and this that stop me having what I want“, and onto the solution – “Oh I would LOVE this and this and this and this!  Oh it feels SO good to think about what I want!  I’m not going to ‘think’ about it and figure it out, I’m just going to feel good about it and let the Universe hear my vibration and show me it happening“, how can the Universe do anything else but respond?

You came here to be creative and to express the beautiful spirit that you are.  Unleash that within you and allow yourself to think of the possibilities.  Allow yourself to dream and to think in terms of “Well if it IS possible then this will feel good and this will feel good” and so on.  You don’t have to figure out the how.  That wasn’t the deal.  You, from your physical conscious mind, were going to make choices and preferences and the far far far larger spiritual vibrational part of you was going to correspond with Everything-Else-That-Is and create the manifestations.  It just got disrupted when the physical part of you thought you knew it all and were God and tried to overshadow the rest of you.  There is far more leverage and ease when you are in your flow by how you ‘feel’ (vibration, synchronicities, manifestation) than by how you ‘think’ (rational, logic, linear).

You are much much, much more than the physical body you see.  Be in harmony with it and let it flow.  The thoughts that feel good (including your ‘dreams’) are the ones that are in alignment with who you are.  And watch the magic unfold.