Firstly, Happy Valentine’s Day!

At the weekend I received an email from a former client of mine, Tiffany Kay.  Last year, we worked on various areas of her life, including relationships.  I knew the dynamics that were in play and offered specific advice and processes (as well as those that she would create for herself too) that she could use which we would interact about in our sessions. 

You see, I know what happened…Tiffany is getting married this year!  So I thought you might like to know about her story.  And so I asked Tiffany to write it in her words and I would tweak it and share it with you here…

Tiffany:

RELATIONSHIPS HAD ALWAYS BEEN A CHALLENGE FOR ME
 

“Relationships had always been a challenging area for me. I know that I always had high expectations that the “right” relationship could be deeply inspiring, fulfilling and supportive, I just wasn’t able to manifest the quality of experience I was looking for. 

I discovered the Law of Attraction through the work of Gill Edwards, which led me to study the teachings of Abraham. Although this was enlightening and changed my whole perspective on life, I couldn’t seem to apply it in practice.  There still seemed to be something missing, I just didn’t know what “it” was until I connected with Hemal Radia via Facebook. I was regularly inspired by Hemal’s posts and particularly how he helped to clarify the Law of Attraction principles an in easy (and often effortless) way.

CONNECTING WITH HEMAL

This led me to contact Hemal about his one-to-one service and we worked together for a number of months to help me to apply the principles of creation and manifestation to my life. I found Hemal’s insights to be incredibly beneficial. I could take a particular experience and work through it with Hemal’s guidance to really understand how the mechanics of the Law of Attraction meant that I was not lining myself up with what I wanted.

One of the most significant revelations for me was the realisation that what was missing from my relationships was me. I came to understand that I was not creating the relationship I wanted, I was creating the version of me that would be living the inspired relationship. That’s why Hemal’s book “Find You, And You Find Everything” is so aptly titled.

For the next few months, I focused all of my energy on developing the type of inner relationship that would allow the external partnership to manifest. I treated myself with the love, kindness and respect that I would want with a partner. My Saturday nights became my own “date night”.  I would stay in and treat myself to a DVD or a hot candlelit bath or something else that felt indulgent. After years of dreading Saturday nights, they became the most special time of the week for me.

WANTING TO MEET MY SOULMATE

On my birthday in June last year, after another near miss relationship had painfully and abruptly ended, I made a decision that I would no longer settle for anything but my soulmate and I set an intention that I was going to meet him over the next twelve months, before my 40th birthday.

I enlisted the support of my best friends as external monitors and gave them permission to challenge me if they felt that I was doing anything to distract myself or that wasn’t in my highest and best interests and aligned with meeting “The One”. 

I wrote out a “spec” describing in detail what my future husband would be like. I have a beautiful box that my friend gave me called “My magical creation box” and I put my wish list in there.

Pretty soon, I started to notice changes in my life. I would see couples out for a walk and holding hands and kissing and my heart would leap with joy.  I went to bed at night and would dream of my future husband. I reached the point when the anticipation of my lover-to-be felt as real and exciting as if he had actually shown up!

MEETING SOMEONE

As part of my intention-setting and following a suggestion from my best friend, I signed up to an online dating service.  For me at that time, it was purely part of putting the intention out there. I wasn’t “expecting” an instant result, but I was to get to be pleasantly surprised.

On the first day of my membership, I got an ice-breaker email from a guy on the site.  We exchanged emails and he seemed great.

Due to logistics and childcare, it took us about 6 weeks to get together and meet up. I liked him immediately but I found myself holding back and not wanting to “rush into things”.

On our third date something really bizarre happened. I was sitting opposite him having a drink and this voice behind me, clear as day, said “You really like him, more than you think”. I turned round to see who had said it and as you can probably guess, there was no one there! It was my inner guidance speaking to me.

When I reflected on what was holding me back, I realised I didn’t want to give up my special Saturday nights. I found that hilarious. Now I had actually “man-ifested” what I wanted, I hadn’t updated my model of how much fun shared Saturday nights could be.

MARRIAGE…

Things progressed really quickly after that and within a couple of weeks we were discussing moving in together. When you find someone who is completely easy to be with and totally compatible, you just know that it is right and it just seems like the inevitable next step. Our conversation moved quickly onto marriage, we got engaged just a few weeks later. Tim and I are now planning our wedding for 26 August.

As I reflect on the path to my inspired relationship, I really do understand that the real journey was developing my strong inner relationship that allowed me to create what I wanted on the outside.”

Do let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

In her new book, Tiffany shares the secrets that she learnt along the way, not just from her own experiences but with her clients too.  She has recently entered this book into the International Next Top Self-Help Author competition. You can find out more about the book and vote for her in the competition at “Love to the Max ~ Creating Inspired Relationships That Last”.  Every voter will receive relationship resource goodies worth nearly £100, as well as every vote counting and helping her progress to the next round.
 

Hemal specialises in bringing out the best in his clients and getting them to the results they are wanting. To find out more about working with him and to book, go to Work One-to-One with Hemal.  

1 The relationships you experience are a projection of your emotions.  They are acting out the scenarios in your vibrational script.  You can change the people, and new people will come in though they could have the same dynamics if you are offering the same vibration.  Change the vibrational script – via your thoughts and emotions – and the dynamics of the relationships in your life change.

2 – When you want to be having something in your life, start with a thought about that subject that feels good. Many people think thoughts that they doubt or contradict easily, and so little moves.

Step back a bit from it, and find a thought that you can ponder and dwell on, which feels good, and there isn’t that inner voice that doubts it. When you have the thought that you can congruently experience, just by dwelling on it, you attract another thought soon after (Law of Attraction!), and another, and another, and so on! 

That’s why I often say it’s like dipping into a stream.  There is an infinite stream – you just have to join it at a place you feel comfortable, then it will take you to wherever you want to go (by attracting more of the same).

3 – When you have an area of your life you want to improve or change, notice how you feel about it and what you think (how you feel will be a consequence of what you think).  Are you having mixed thoughts about it?  Any reservations?  Get to a place of congruence (i.e. not being mixed, but a place of clarity) on the subject.  From that ‘pure’ vibration, you will attract solutions and resources more easily.  From a ‘mixed’ place, it can be like trying to travel with a handbrake on.

The place of clarity can be anywhere, but the key thing is you are congruent about it.  Then, you just focus on it, and it takes you to where you want to go on the subject.  Most people don’t get there because they contradict or offer resistance and so the natural ‘stream’ can’t take them, they are offering too many mixed signals.  If you offer a point of clarity, the Universe will reflect that back to you, and it expands and grows.

4 – Be aware of your daily thoughts (and hence daily vibrational offering) about a subject.  It’s not just about the visualisation and other processes you do.  Be aware in case you are contradicting the processes with your thoughts during the day. Someone may visualise more money, but if in the day they are having other thoughts about it, they may be contradicting their good work.

5 – Realise that everything is in constant motion, even the things that appear to stay the same. They appear to ‘stay the same’ because you have the same attention on them and are re-creating them.  Everything is like a stream, a stream of life we could call it.  Everything is being re-created in each moment by your attention to it (as is the case with your body as well as everything around you).  Similarly, all relationships are being re-established again and again. 

Likewise, love is a process.  It is not just something that ‘happens’, but it’s also a process (whether conscious or unconscious) of ‘being’ in love that you are ‘doing’ in each moment.  Love exists and stays in your life because you are perpetuating it each time.  That is the same with everything else – whether it be poverty, wealth, loneliness, good health.  Nothing can exist by itself other than by a process – whether conscious or unconscious – which KEEPS it reoccuring (the consequence of the process may be actions, but also vibration).  The process re-establishes your relationship with that ‘thing’ and keeps it in your life.

If you think about it, you have a relationship with every ‘thing’ in the Universe – object, person, and any other.  Manifesting is about the process of your relationship with it.  When you want something to leave your life, it is also about the relationship with that ‘thing’.

> I am in a Law of Attraction Master Mind group and we are discussing the money aspect of our chosen path. We have been challenged to contact someone whom we admire that is doing what we wish to do and ask them a question. I have chosen you and the question is: What would you say about creating an income from someone's passion? If you feel that this something you can share with me I will be so grateful.
I thank you for your time and wish you bright blessings, Chessie, creator of "Evolution lf Self; Journey into Body, Mind, Spirit Balance"

If someone follows their true joy, that joy in itself has a very attractive vibration.  It will bring people to it that are a match to it.

What prevents many people from creating an income from what they love are their beliefs about it. 

Consider the following questions:

– Do I believe it is possible to make money from this?
– Do I believe that *I* can make money from this?

– As I think about doing this thing that I love, how do I feel?  Do I feel a conflict in relation to something else in my life, such as with creating money, or with something else?

– What other thoughts come up for me about this thing that I want to do?

It may not necessarily be that you always have to have positive answers to the above questions, it can even be that you just ALLOW the possibility of it (i.e. not block it).

If everything is energy in this Universe, then the possibility exists in everything.  The only thing that stops you is your vibration – which is composed of your beliefs about it.  Oftentimes, many of these beliefs are from past programming, maybe thoughts about 'traditional' ways of making an income etc. 

Regarding this last point about 'traditional' ways of making an income, some people, who are looking to start their own business, have been very used to making an income through a 'regular' job and when it comes to them starting their own business and following something they love, they may have beliefs about it not being right to do something that they love, that work and money are not meant to be enjoyable, etc.  These are all beliefs.  And beliefs can quickly be changed.

On the other hand, you can have beliefs that it is fun to make money, it is fun to do what you love – in fact that it's the best way.  That by you enjoying what you do, you are offering something so much more, and the money naturally comes from that also.  If you were giving someone so much joy and pleasure through the vibration of joy that you share, as you think about it, people would find it impossible not to give you money for it.

Some people believe they are not worthy to do what they love and make money from it.

In the joy of what you feel for what you are doing, the worthiness is inherent in that.  The value and the 'worthiness' is in the joy.  The vibration is the most important aspect that you can transfer on.  If you have that, then you are 'worthy'.  I wrote a blog post a couple of years ago about "It's not about the Actions but about the Energy behind those Actions."

In you questioning your worthiness, you are diluting the value that you offer.  Allow yourself to think of yourself in the grandest of ways and with the greatest contribution possible.  Activate the most powerful vibration within yourself.  Do it in the most loving of ways and in ways you resonate with, relative to your beliefs.  Allow your beliefs to expand and grow and for you to (vibrationally) 'grow' to this possibility for yourself.

In light of the above, as you think about it now, how unnatural would it be to NOT make money following your love… 😉

When we have decided we will spend the rest of our lives with someone (or it feels that way), and it doesn’t quite work out that way, we have to deal with the emotions about that, the dynamics of the relationship, as well as all the other emotions in play. It can be a time of upheaval.  Remember what it was always about: you went into a marriage/relationship for happiness, love and joy.  Let that be the light for you to head towards – these emotions, even if at the time they might appear in the distance.  Remember also that perspectives and circumstances change very quickly in your changing attention – ‘things’ and solutions appear where they weren’t appearing previously.

The marriage or relationship was meant to be a reflection of these emotions for you, not a replacement.

Avoid getting pulled into the dramas. They take you away from your true self and your true authenticity. You went into a relationship for two wholes to create something special together. It is still about something special (it always is) – You. And despite there being another, you could only have something special together, from your own specialness individually; that has not changed anyway.

When a relationship (or anything) ends it seems like the end of something. Consider that the ending of the relationship (or anything) was actually part of the process of something new beginning.

The relationship served it’s purpose and all possibilities are open to you in your now, as they always have been. They are open to you from your true self and your true authenticity.  Not from games, smoke and mirrors, and distortions.  All those things hide the real you. And if you feel the need to be scared and not yourself, what is it that you are (vibrationally) communicating to the rest of the Universe?

Realise your power is within you, not on what happens outside of you (which is a reflection), and in your now.  And despite what has happened with this other person, you are no less adored and loved.

The Universe totally adores you unconditionally, it always has, other than the doubts and conditions you filter that love and ‘energy’ through. 

Remember to look for the indicators in your experience of how you are blessed and what you DO have, than what you don’t.  Sometimes we can look at something that has ended or is ending and feel regret and sadness, especially if we are not wanting it to end.  It may seem like a loss of your whole world.

Realise that this relationship was something that you made your world, it was something that you expanded to make your world, by your attention to it.  When something then turns not so pretty, it can be uncomfortable.  Withdraw your attention from it, and balance it with the rest of your world that has always existed, that you had selectively filtered out whilst you focused on the relationship.  You are just shifting your perspective from this person or situation to be in balance with everything else.  Previously, when things were good, because they were good, you chose to shift the balance and make it your predominant focus.  Now, as you move on for now, you are shifting the balance, and creating space for other things in your life.  And of course, the Universe responds in kind with new energy.

There is an abundant and infinite stream of what can come into our lives.  When we hold onto things due to our emotional attachments, we are not allowing the space and freedom and possibilities of what else may come into our lives.  We can use fear to hold onto things, or trust and faith to allow this energetic stream.  It’s not really about the relationship with the other person, but the relationship with ourselves and our own divinity.

“Hi Hemal, I was wondering what your thoughts were on jealousy?

I have been hurt so badly in the past by someone and struggle to move on from that.

I stayed alone for sometime and thought I had dealt with it – via reiki and positive thoughts and law of attraction etc – now I am with my new man I on occasion feel it in my stomach and find it hard to keep under control.Dont get me wrong its not a possessive thing, just the odd occasion where I feel sick to the stomach. I know deep down its my own mind and self esteem and I work with this daily but wondered what your view on it was or any advice from your way….thanks for your time to read ..have a great day

Em x”

When we are going into a relationship, we are feeling wonderful things and the beautiful emotions build and build – an example of Law of
Attraction!  And then what happens is we may experience fears and
insecurities and other things may come up.  It may be that we are fearful of losing what we have, or that we have a bit of moment to reflect and absorb what has been happening and start to ‘think’ (and the fears and ‘patterning’ come up) rather than continue ‘being‘ in that wonderful feel-good place.

“After people attract something (such as a relationship), they can
sometimes get busy trying not to lose it, which is a very different
vibration to what attracted it to them in the first place…”

Jealousy is a response to thinking that something is yours when in fact, like everything else in the Universe, it isn’t, and you are no ones either.  Other than the fact that you are two souls meeting along your journey.

The discomfort that exists is because you are thinking thoughts that
are taking you out of your flow and from what you want.  And what you
want isn’t just this physical being in your life, but the essences of
what you are experiencing.  Whilst your physical body and mind
experiences this person, your soul and essences are experiencing so
much more and that is what led to the physical meeting.

You can’t be jealous if you are on your path and know that you will be ok. You cannot base your own wellbeing on another’s presence and feelings for you, but on your own connection to wellbeing and flow (which in itself is attractive for others to be around you).

You love them and adore them because, as a free being, you are chosing to be with them, and vice versa. There is no attachment or holding, especially emotionally. Allow them to be free, they will appreciate and love you even more for it.  Otherwise, energetically, they will feel constricted too.  And when someone feels constriction or pressure, little things can start to come in (such as disagreements, arguments etc) which can build.  It is far better to have the space within ourselves and allow the other, and ourselves, to be who we are.  To be fearless in all eventualities and being at peace with them, so we can enjoy our now.

“Anytime we build a strong momentum about something, and we experience
strong emotions or fears to the contrary, it can get pretty
uncomfortable.”

You cannot carve out and separate a bit of the Universe (such as a person) and hold it in statis
forever and say it is yours.  Everything is interconnected and
interrelated, as are you. You wouldn’t want it any other way.  You
wouldn’t want to be disconnected from your flow. It is more important
to you than this relationship or anything else, because it is to do
with your relationship with who YOU are as the spiritual being that is
living this physical life.

We fear losing what we have but remember we cannot ‘hold’ or ‘force’ something.  What we can do is deal with the fears about it.  What would happen if this person left?  Be at peace with that.  Have it so that does not scare you and you can focus your emotional energy on appreciating what you two have together.

Anytime a limiting thought comes up, identify the underlying what fear behind it, and let it go.  All fears are limited perspectives of the Universe.  They imply that you will not be ok as a result of something happening or not happening.  When in fact the Universe is wellbeing and does not place conditions on it, only you do.

Any jealousy or element of control is about one’s fear or lack of security or certainty about having or keeping something that they want, or how they want it. It is an illusion because you can never truly ‘have’ something and keep it static forever and how you want it.  That’s the illusion. And that can be scary itself the first time someone realises that.  But that’s only fear, it is not reality. The reality is you have no need to be scared because you are safe.

The ‘truth‘ is your flow and connection to all that you want, including through this person or thing that you want. Take your attention away from the noises and distractions from fear, and put them on your truth which is your ever-abundant and ever-infinite flow and adulation from the Universe.

How can you ever be without when you realise how much you mean to this Universe?  There was no coincidence in your creation, and nothing would be withheld from you.  You just needed to know how to ask for it – vibrationally.  In realising your connection, you have nothing to fear being without.  It’s like having fears in looking at a blade of grass, and not seeing the whole field.

I put up a photo of a friend’s cat on the Hemal Radia page on Facebook a few days ago.  Another friend of mine, Jen Reynolds, commented with a story of an experience she had.  Enjoy 🙂

“I found a cat almost 9 months ago.  The funny thing about it is I was talking about how I wanted to get a cat because my dog (Note: Jen’s dog is “Chaco”, her chihuahua, who she calls her “5lb rat”) is afraid of a lot of things including other dogs but he seemed to really like cats when I took him for walks.

It is amazing what a precious pet can do and teach us!  This picture (that she was replying to on my page) just reminds me of how precious our furry friends are!  OHHHH AND SMART! They live in their flow all the time.  It is amazing!”

  

This was a request from a good friend to a quote I put up about Growth:

“That is comforting for the assurance Hemal…however, as we expand and grow…those around us will sometimes feel discomfort, which then transfers to us…maybe you could expand on how to handle this aspect of growth” – Henri Coleman

ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE YOU, AND THEM TO BE THEM

There are a few things about it. Firstly we cannot hold our own growth back because on a deeper level we are all expanding, and we do not have to. When we hold our own growth back we are against our own flow and it gets uncomfortable and eventually the discomfort can increase. It’s like pressing the accelerator and the brakes at the same time.

There are no coincidences in the relationships that we have, whether it be family, friends, pets etc. We, and they, came into this life to experience the contrast and the dynamics that we experience. However, we are always at vibrational choice of what we keep and allow in our experience.

Some might say, “Oh move on, you are no longer a match” and that can feel quite cold and hurtful. I don’t agree with that and I believe that if we would like to and choose to (and it IS a choice), we can be with anything or anyone if we choose solely to focus on the factors that we love and keep our attention off the things we do not like (that is what creates the resistance and discomfort and pushing away). Many though are habitually good at looking at the things that are wrong and that creates discord in the relationships.

Look to appreciate the gift that is your growth. See it also as an opportunity to share it with others. Now if others do not see it that way, do not hold it against them, and allow them to be themselves. Give them space to have their opinions as you allow yourself to do the same.

Their discomfort, with all due respect, is their stuff. You can support them and give them love, but it is for them to deal with. It’s like an analogy a good friend of mine uses, “You can’t lose weight for someone else”.

YOU ARE THEIRS AND EVERYONE’S INSPIRATION THROUGH YOUR FLOW

But through YOUR flow and inspiration you can inspire anothers to theirs. Oftentimes people have lost hope or they do not believe things can be a certain way. BE the inspiration and the light for the sake of being it – i.e. for YOU and because it is your flow. Let them choose to resonate with it. At first it may be scary for them. Again, their stuff. But that is part of their evolution and development, and that is also their choice.

Take your attention away from their challenges, put it on what IS good, whether within yourself, them, or anything else. If it feels good, it is getting you to your alignment. If you are in your alignment, you are in your flow and attracting all sorts of wonderful things. Make your focus your own flow, and choose to include or exclude things to pay attention to based on that, make that your criteria.

You may remember a few months ago that Fawny Frost created an inspiring video with my quotes called “Hemal Radia’s Quotes“.  She has taken more quotes of mine and created another one!

Fawny is an Officer on the “Hemal Radia Appreciation Group!” on Facebook where they send out my quotes during the week.  She has taken some of my quotes, along with photos that she has taken (including at a butterfly farm), and created this beautiful video.

If you are reading this in an email, CLICK HERE to go to this post on the blog and view the video.

Enjoy!

If you would like to view this on YouTube then CLICK HERE.  (You are welcome to rate it and put a comment if you would like to!)

I have received a surprise just now when Emma Turner of http://www.7thspace.co.uk has let me know she has created a video of my “Love is you Being You” article!

If you are reading this in an email, CLICK HERE to go to this post on the blog and view the video.

If you would like to view this on YouTube then CLICK HERE.  (You are welcome to rate it and put a comment if you would like to!)

Thanks Hemal for taking the time to respond to my comment, that makes me feel really good 🙂

I have been trying soo hard to be positive and think good thoughts, and i know that we create our own reality but all I am wanting is to be happy and my ex and his entire family are not going to let me be. In fact, it seems that if it’s obvious that I am happy they seem to go out of their way to make me miserable. I just went thru a 2 yr custody battle and won (without an attorney non the less isnt that awesome!!) That was one day i truly felt the power of positive thinking because I went in there and told 100% the truth even though I could no longer afford an attorney and WON!!

But it seems this win has lit a fire under them and now they are trying 10x harder to make things difficult for me. I’m talking EVERY SINGLE DAY there’s either something popping in my inbox from them, prank calls, prank text messages, something coming in the mail, its really getting me down and I’ve even started to gain weight from it all and you know how that is on us women, that is making me even more depressed lol!!

So, I guess what I am asking is, how do I manage to maintain happy and positive in spite of the constant attacks? I certainly don’t think I am bringing this on myself am I? It’s making me miserable and I am already slipping into a depression which is what my ex wants me to do. I fell he just won’t stop until I am destroyed and I know you cant tell from not really knowing me but I am spiraling fast 🙁 Any words of encouragement will be gratefully appreciated.

Thank you again for taking the time to read this and for your lovely daily posts, they mean so much to me, more than you will ever know!!

Much respect,

Shannon

REPLY:

Hi Shannon,

Firstly, I wrote a post on my blog about a year ago which may resonate with you,
As a Single Parent How do I Handle my Ex?

My sense/hunch is that [by your attention to it] you are getting sucked into a fight so to speak. You are focusing on winning this battle and in doing that your attention is in pushing against them and hence you are attracting more of the same, that is just a sense on my part, but you will know best.

The thing to ask yourself is what are you doing all this for? The answer is probably to do with your child and your life, how would you like things to be?  Focus on the positive essences about that (rather than on a battle – which implies being in a battle and attracting more of the same), the things that are important to you about it, regardless of your ex and his family. Take your attention totally away from them and make it about what YOU want and what feels good to you.

Would you be ok with you getting what you want and them getting what they want? That may not be feasible or possible, I’m just asking the question in terms of would you be at peace with them having what they want? Don’t make this about what they get or what they don’t get, make it about the things that feel good to you and are important to you, regardless of them.

Because if you are having the emotions of a scrap, then regardless of them, if they go away then you will attract someone else to fill that space to match the vibration you are giving out (to have a battle). Make it about the essences that feel good – such as the beautiful life that you will have with your child, the things that you will do etc etc – i.e. make it about YOU and totally about YOUR reality, and then others can be drawn to it that match it.

I think the reason you get down is to do with with your attention on them rather than the attention on you.  And of course when you think about them there are emotions which are unpleasant and suck you in…and you think more about it…and it gets bigger, and so on.  Then you have manifestations such as the things that they are doing. And it may not be easy and of course things like ego and pride may come into it, but allow yourself to step away from that situation. Realise anything in life is about YOU, not about anyone else. As you have focused on them and the things that they have been doing it may have angered you or saddened you and of course it created more attention from you on them and it wasn’t allowing you to let it go out of your life.

The way to do that is to envision a life that you would like to be having when all of this is over and feel it now, thus that things can then orchestrate in line with that.  Put the same emotional emphasis to what you would like than on where you are leaving.  What is dominant in your vibration is what you head towards.

This post was automatically imported into my Notes on Facebook.  If you would like to see it and the comments people have been leaving for it then click here: “Battling with an Ex” Note on Facebook.  If you would like to leave a comment you are very welcome to leave one there or in the comments section below.

If you would like to work one-to-one with me on this sort of an issue or another you can find out more information at Work One-to-One with Hemal