This was a request from a good friend to a quote I put up about Growth:

“That is comforting for the assurance Hemal…however, as we expand and grow…those around us will sometimes feel discomfort, which then transfers to us…maybe you could expand on how to handle this aspect of growth” – Henri Coleman


There are a few things about it. Firstly we cannot hold our own growth back because on a deeper level we are all expanding, and we do not have to. When we hold our own growth back we are against our own flow and it gets uncomfortable and eventually the discomfort can increase. It’s like pressing the accelerator and the brakes at the same time.

There are no coincidences in the relationships that we have, whether it be family, friends, pets etc. We, and they, came into this life to experience the contrast and the dynamics that we experience. However, we are always at vibrational choice of what we keep and allow in our experience.

Some might say, “Oh move on, you are no longer a match” and that can feel quite cold and hurtful. I don’t agree with that and I believe that if we would like to and choose to (and it IS a choice), we can be with anything or anyone if we choose solely to focus on the factors that we love and keep our attention off the things we do not like (that is what creates the resistance and discomfort and pushing away). Many though are habitually good at looking at the things that are wrong and that creates discord in the relationships.

Look to appreciate the gift that is your growth. See it also as an opportunity to share it with others. Now if others do not see it that way, do not hold it against them, and allow them to be themselves. Give them space to have their opinions as you allow yourself to do the same.

Their discomfort, with all due respect, is their stuff. You can support them and give them love, but it is for them to deal with. It’s like an analogy a good friend of mine uses, “You can’t lose weight for someone else”.


But through YOUR flow and inspiration you can inspire anothers to theirs. Oftentimes people have lost hope or they do not believe things can be a certain way. BE the inspiration and the light for the sake of being it – i.e. for YOU and because it is your flow. Let them choose to resonate with it. At first it may be scary for them. Again, their stuff. But that is part of their evolution and development, and that is also their choice.

Take your attention away from their challenges, put it on what IS good, whether within yourself, them, or anything else. If it feels good, it is getting you to your alignment. If you are in your alignment, you are in your flow and attracting all sorts of wonderful things. Make your focus your own flow, and choose to include or exclude things to pay attention to based on that, make that your criteria.

Heart and colours

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  • Lana says:

    I have to add that I’ve been working on myself for over a year and have seen significant changes in the way people I’ve known for years respond to me. They’ve changed in response to my changes.
    Even with family, it was a bit rough at first and sometimes still is but I do see my impact. They’re starting to listen and learn.
    It really is a “flow” and as long as you allow people to be them and keep true to your own loving nature (free of ego, judgment, and be more accepting), you will be amazed to the point of recognizing the miracles appearing in your life!
    Not to mention, you’ll also see the different people you are now attracting to you!
    Happy Holidays all!

  • Anne says:

    You have to let other people choose their own path in life. This isn’t always easy, especially when it’s someone we love, but we simply cannot control what others think and do. I agree, that you must focus on what you love about that person, not what you don’t. If they tend to focus on what they don’t like about you, as you said, it’s their problem not yours. You can only control what you think and experience. Choose to focus on the positive aspects, and you will see more of them. As always, great advice Hemal!

  • Wonderful post… Very informational and educational as usual!

  • Hemal Radia says:

    Thanks everyone 🙂

  • Its true that we cannot hold our own growth back.Let the others choose their own way to move forward in life.As there in the post above “Give them space to have their opinions as you allow yourself to do the same”.Very nice post…..

  • Good article..Specially the part-“There are no coincidences in the relationships that we have, whether it be family, friends”

    I must say very good job done.