I enjoy reading your blog, it is well laid out and easy to follow,
something which I notice is often lacking on topics of a spiritual
nature elsewhere. Often there are too many bells and whistles and the messages are
lost amongst it all but yours is clear to read!
I teach people how to manage stress and anxiety, and one day I may
consider teaching the LoA depending on how open my clients are.
problem is, I am absolutely useless at applying the LoA in my own life
despite having seen the effects years ago before I even knew there was
a name for it. I have recently become a single parent and feel nervous every time I see my ex as he is so unreasonable about contact with the
children. I had been going along with his demands for contact and
hoping that being generous would lead him to being the same but it
isn't, so how do I get tougher without inviting more negativity for
Being 'tougher' implies you have something to 'be
tough against', which implies on some level you are thinking of
something you do not want, and of course if you have something in your
vibration of what you don't want you are attracting more of the same.
Ask yourself what you DO want instead, how you'd like things to be, practice
those thoughts and vibration.
Focus on what you DO appreciate,
that you have a wonderful child, that you are getting to spend time
with him or her, that although the dynamics have changed recently you
are making the most of what you have and are enjoying and appreciating
And despite what your ex does or doesn't do, practice your vibration
towards what feels good to you rather than as a response to how he behaves,
otherwise you may find yourself up and down, practice taking your
attention off that and putting it onto your own alignment, in that
being what feels good to you (as that is your 'guidance', intuition,
whatever you want to call it), or at least feels 'better' to you, as it
is all relative
When you get into your own alignment others
around you will change, or you will see those aspects in them that
match your vibration, OR, when they behave those ways they used to you
won't see it or be around because vibrationally you won't be a match and
are instead lined up for what you do want. All in all it means the same
thing, when you have lined up your vibration and have alignment [to what feels good to you – that is your 'purpose'], you
will experience more of that
Thanks for replying. I guess it takes a big leap to
move away saying 'I don't want…' to 'What I want is…'. So is it
better to say 'I want for our boys not to have to make a very long car
trip' rather than 'I don't want the kids making a long car trip'? How
else can I specifically spell it out for my ex that I don't want the
kids being made to do that? If I don't spell things out, he will claim
he didn't realise my point.
When you say 'I don't want them to make a long car
trip' or 'I want them to not have to make a very long car trip', they are both the same thing in that the focus is still on not making a long car trip, i.e. on what you don't want (you can't process a 'negative'; don't think of a blue elephant in a purple tree – you can't 'not' think about it, you have to think about something to not think about it, hence don't put your attention towards what you don't want), put your attention on
what you DO want instead, so I'm presuming what the most important things are
is that the boys are well, happy and so on, put your attention on that, whatever your (positive) intention is. Practice your vibration around that. If they are fine and happy making long trips or doing other things
then that is still a match to what you want, let go of the form, let go of judging the form of how your positive intention is achieved.
So ask yourself why you
want what you want to get your positive intention, i.e. them not having long trips for example is so
you want them to be well etc, put your attention on that than on 'how' it happens. You are presuming what they will go through with long car journeys, and that may be well-founded based on what has happened in the past, but soften your perspective on it, soften your beliefs and thoughts around it, focus on what you do want than on what has happened in the past, create the present and future based on what you would like it to be than your experiences in the past. When you are looking to avoid the past happening that is where your vibration is, instead start practicing how you would like things to be. What you create in your future is just a matter of which vibration you practice and all possibilities are open to you
WHAT ARE YOU PRACTICING
Bit by bit also take your attention away from the frustration of the
interactions (with the ex) and put it on what you are wanting, which is how you want
the boys to be. Because if your attention is on frustration, you will attract a match to that either in that context or elsewhere, put your attention on
the wellbeing of the boys, and the key thing is how it makes YOU feel,
put yourself in that place, and let the form and the happenings take
care of themselves. Right now you probably have a list of the things you dislike about your ex and how you don't want things to be, but do you have a list of how you want things to be? Which vibration are you practicing stronger? Which is your dominant vibration?
And what I am talking about is more about
your own focus and vibration than what you say to the ex, if you are
vibrationally in the right place then the right things will take care of themselves, if needed you will say the right things or you may even find that you don't need to say anything as they are taken care of
If you have any questions or comments on the above, feel free to add them in the comments below on this blog post.
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You have given this single parent some great advice on applying the Law of Attraction to what has been a difficult situation.
Focusing on the experience you want (for yourself and by extension for your children) with the expectation that this is possible, you can achieve the results you are looking for.
One of the important points in that statement is your expectation must be that it is possible.
Saying optimistic words without actually believing it can happen will keep you aligned with the vibration of what you do NOT want.
Thanks Sharon 🙂