"I find your profile and website both interesting and inspiring, thank you. I am also a fan of Esther and Jerry Hicks' works and The Law of Attraction. In one of their books, it has a section on LOA and then a part called The Art of Allowing. For some recent months I have been following LOA and learning a lot about 'allowing', particularly with a few people that are close to me that share completely different beliefs and values. I have learnt to accept them for who they are and love them unconditionally. But, recently one particular person has been extremely negative, stressed and angry. Seeing as I spend quite a lot of time with this person, it is really hard for me to watch them and 'allow'. What do you suggest I do? I have been meditating on the situation, asking for guidance and focusing on a peaceful, loving, relationship. and sending love and healing to this person when i can.

I have learnt some valuable lessons about myself and my ego, and I am learning a lot about patience at the moment. But, I don't want to watch this negativity anymore!!

Have a wonderful day
Love and light."


It sounds like you are 'tolerating' than 'allowing', it's a subtle distinction.  On some level there is that element of 'that which you do not like' in your vibration. So one thing you can do is soothe it such as:

-Oh I know that this person can be unbearable sometimes, but they have so many other traits which I like about them
-I know there is a reason why they are in my life and why I’d like them in my life, and that is …….
-This person isn’t always like this, at other times they are so <positive qualities>, and I love this about them and this and this and this and this and this and that and this

Also (as mentioned in the lines above), focus on the things you like about them, even if small, and as you focus your attention grows on them, and whilst you're focusing on what you like (and growing) it's not so easy to focus on what you don't like.  When parents say they ‘worry’ about their children because they ‘love’ them, whilst they mean it in a very well intentioned way, ‘worry’ and ‘love’ are two different vibrations [on the vibrational scale], you also know this because they 'feel' different (of course, depending on how each person represents those words internally, but generally speaking).

Vibrational matches

Focus on the vibration of what you want.  Even if it’s not on these people, focus on the qualities you like IN OTHERS if you have to, but just get your attention onto what you like, it doesn’t even have to be about those people that you mention, such that when you come back to them and are around them you will see them from a new perspective and there may be a different vibration you have about it.

When you have a different vibration about something you tend to:
1 – Draw different aspects from the same scenario (eg the same people)
2 – Attract new people which are a match to the vibration

Or a combination.  But the key thing is you are always attracting a vibrational match.


It's all relative to where you're going and and where you are

The thing with sending love, healing etc, is if that works for you then great, the only thing with those things is they imply that there is something that needs to be healed, loved etc, i.e. something on some level that needs healing – which implies something isn’t how you want it or 'should be'. So if initially it works then great, it will get you further up the vibrational scale than where you were, and at higher vibrations you might want to come to it from a viewpoint of what you like and how you'd like things to be and imply that in your thoughts, actions, feelings, etc and forget about why you came to do this or why you’re doing it.  Focus on the aspects that you like because that’s what you do, not because you’re trying to change something or there was something you didn’t like

There is no right or wrong though, so if sending healing or sending love works for you and it feels better, then use that as your indication, your guidance.  It is all relative, relative to what you are working on and where you are coming from and the person that can give you that answer is yourself and your own guidance, which is your emotions.


In 'allowing', you are allowing others to be who/what they are, who they want to be etc  – without pushing back, and you are allowing of yourself too.  It's the pushing back that creates discord and attracts more of the same, it's soothing it and being at peace with it and focusing on what you like, what you appreciate, what you love, that attracts more of that too.  The Universe is a place that gives you total choice and freedom.  There is no assertion – such as asserting on another how to be, there IS attraction, the Universe matches based on vibration.

It's what Life was meant to be about

Life is about these sorts of things, that’s what it’s meant to be about, there you are going along minding your own business and something happens – at that moment you have desires for what you would like.  However because your attention at that time is on the thing that happened, you have your desire, but your beliefs (dominant thoughts) are not lined up to it because you’re still thinking about what happened.  The contrast in what happened creates the desire for what you want.  Your job then is to soothe yourself away from those thoughts of ‘what-is’ and work your way up the vibrational scale to WHAT YOU WANT, and you will find that things around you will change.  99% of manifestations are created before you see them on the physical – your job is to focus on that 99%, the emotional journey that you practice before the manifesting, let the Universe take care of the rest.  In that journey you use your imagination and play with your thoughts (and off ‘what-is’), in fact your journey becomes smoother because your thoughts are more and more about what you want – by virtue of Law of Attraction the momentum builds (so long as you don't contradict it with your thoughts) – and soon enough you turn around and see things are a certain way… 

Your job is to keep your vibrational mix about what you want (and FROM what you want) than on what happened or what is, it’s to play with your thoughts, use games (/processes – but seeing them as games is more fun and you have a better vibration about it) and your imagination to form your reality

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  • XIO says:

    Hemal, it is a pleasure for me to write my comments in your blog because this is one of the best way to express to you and others your “Excellent and Helpful Job”. Also it helps me to reconfirm to myself how well I feel after I got the information that I received through this way…
    I am working on feeling happy with the people who are around me and it is working very good…But there still some people who make feel uncomfortable. Honestly my best way to keep my good internal feeling was to avoid them…The thing is that I want to feel happy and good with everybody and I am looking for solutions…
    My first solution is to find out the reason(s) why I reject those people…
    Second, is to take 100% of responsibility on that, because what I hate on those people is what I hate on myself or I am afraid to be like them…
    Third, I thank them for be in my life because they are helping me to find out that we are really perfect creations and that makes this process like a “Miracle” …
    When we say okay I want to be good and I will ignore this person’s bad mood or negative vibration or I will forgive this person because I am the good one…I did it and I can tell you that is NOT WORKING AT ALL…
    Four, I say to myself I want to see the good things in that person, I really want to feel happy with she or he…
    My last experiences was last night. I was very mad with one of my best friends and that make feel very sad…She invited me to go out with some of my other friends too, but I was looking for reasons to not go out with her even though it looked like a lot of fun…I did all my steps to feel good with she, but I was given to much importance to my hurt feeling that my smart steps were not working very well…
    When I started to say to myself “I want to feel happy with my friend, I really want to feel happy with my friend, I want to believe that I will be happy with she again“…I focused on that until the moment I met she… There came the “Miracle” again… I had a wonderful and fun time with she and the rest of the people in that place…
    My friend was not the one with the problem or the responsible of my sad and angry feeling, I was the one who wanted experienced that feeling…It is magical when we work on that and see positive and happy results…
    Thanks to that kind of experiences I know there are abundance of wonderful people and I only need to be open to see them and believe that they are real and feel attract to them…
    The most important thing is to believe and love myself…. I am the one who projects others nice, beautiful, positive, happy and good feeling because that is going to be reflected in others…
    This is one of my principal goals and I am getting much more that I expected and that makes feel an intense sensation of Happiness, Love and Peace…
    Thank you very much for this message and Thank YOU for be here…

  • XIO says:

    Thank you for the RED ROSES…You know they represent to me relationship with others…Now I know it is not a coincidence you posted it…
    Thank you so much for this gift and confirmation…

  • Hemal says:

    And Xio it is a pleasure to read your comments too
    I think you have answered your own question and I was typing as I was going through your comment so you’ve probably answered it but I was typing as I was going through it and typed the following:
    >my best way to keep my good internal feeling was to avoid them…The thing is that I want to feel happy and good with everybody and I am looking for solutions…
    And know that if you are away from them and that allows you to feel good that you are in a better place, vibrationally, resourcefully, with answers to what you want to do, or either they won’t be a vibrational match and the interaction won’t happen in the same way or something might be different. It’s really about practicing your vibration.
    Look to the best experiences you remember with those people, and flow unconditionally to whatever happens in the now moment, you could look at it as ‘I flow unconditional love to you, you do not have to be or act a certain way. I know that I didn’t used to feel good when you acted a certain way but that is not to do with you, it is to do with my allowing about you and my allowing about what I allow myself to feel. I flow unconditional love to you and it frees you and it frees me’.
    You mentioned that you can have fun experiences with your friends but it’s other stuff that you don’t enjoy. Focus on the things you like, keep your thoughts about them, so you are supporting your relationship with them being about those things, and it is up to them if they want to join you in that vibrational place. If you are unconditional (i.e. don’t get attached to them having to be or not be a certain way) and focused on the things that feel good, people will be attracted to being around and feel good, they will feel their own connection to Source, God, The Universe through your own connection

  • XIO says:

    What do I do with my susceptible side? I do want to be strong and I do not want pay attention to many things around me…

  • Hemal says:

    What do you mean by ‘susceptible’ side?
    It depends on what that means to you. If you mean the side which interprets something as what you don’t want, then it is a matter of practicing the thoughts of what you do want and making that your dominant vibration, and using the various games and processes. It may not always be straightforward, you may have experiences where you think you have regressed, but even if you have it will generally still be a better place than where you had started from, it’s about being kind to yourself and not beating yourself up in the process, being kind to yourself (unconditional love and acceptance/allowing for yourself too)

  • XIO says:

    Thank you Hemal…You got my point and I will work on that…
    One thousand thank you

  • XIO says:

    What do I do when I am negative? I know this answer…Change to the positive channel and That Is going to help me to see everything Beautiful and Positive…

  • Karina says:

    .. .., Hemal and Xio.
    Thank you so much for these wonderfull thoughts.
    I can never get tired of reading this amazing blogs.
    I was asking for this too and it helped me alot.
    I am sending you tons of positive energy and love and talk to you soon amigos!!!
    Su amiga Karina =)

  • Hemal says:

    Hola Amiguita (lol, I learnt that from you lol (for others reading this it means ‘Hello my little Friend’))
    Thanks for your comment, it’s interesting you say that about ‘I was asking for this too’, Xio said that about this post as did some other people, as well as the person that wrote in initially about it as well! And Xio and another friend, Bhavini, have both said that many times a post shows up on this blog about what they had been thinking/asking for AT THAT POINT IN TIME, so for example last weekend Bhavini was going to contact me about the question that was in this post, and apparently for her and Xio this has happened many times before on posts.
    So it seems there is a collective asking and an orchestration for it to be answered 🙂

  • XIO says: