Xio talks so much about you and she said you have been a wonderful resource.
At this point in my life I feel that I still haven’t found what I am looking for in life, I am very blessed I have a wonderful daughter who
is MY LIFE, but with my husband on the other hand I feel very empty we have
been together for almost 16 years.  I wish him the best, sometimes I feel
that I might love him but them when I am too close to him I don’t. I
don’t know what it is , I wish I could tell you. It might be too much
anger. I thought maybe through the law of attraction I can find answers
to my issues. Thank you Hemal

REPLY:

I will list out what I think are the most important parts in this:

-At this point in my life I feel that I still haven’t found what I am looking for in life
-I am very blessed I have a wonderful daughter who
is MY LIFE

-but with my husband on the other hand I feel very empty
-I feel
that I might love him but them when I am too close to him I don’t. I
don’t know what it is , I wish I could tell you. It might be too much
anger

WORKING WITH EMOTIONS

Let’s start with them, though not in that order

I feel
that I might love him but them when I am too close to him I don’t. I
don’t know what it is , I wish I could tell you. It might be too much
anger

In reading that, of course anger suggests that either something has happened and/or you have anger about something else and blame him.  Whatever it is is not crucial, because whatever you feel and for whatever reason you are feeling it, and you work with your experience.  When someone feels something they will also tend to see more of it (have you bought an item of clothing and started seeing all the other people that are wearing something similar? lol)- we tend to see and attract more of the same of what we are feeling.

So ask yourself, how do you feel about the relationship?  Is it worth making peace with the ‘anger’ so you can focus on more of what you want?  You see, it’s not about the relationship, it’s about doing this for yourself.  If someone leaves one relationship and does not change how they think/feel they will attract similar situations in another (or other friendships/relationships) because whilst they have moved physically, they have not changed their vibration.  So they feel ‘Why does this keep happening to me?’ or ‘What’s God/The Universe got against me for keeping on punishing me?’  It’s totally to do with vibration.

I’ve known people who have moved countries to ‘get away from things’ and because they are thinking the same things they attract similar scenarios.  And of course there are many times where this doesn’t happen either, because the new environment stimulates them differently and they don’t have the same thoughts/feelings as before, but as in all cases, the common denominator are the thoughts and feelings of the individual.

So work on the anger for yourself, and this relationship – or whatever else – will be an expression of You.

Ask yourself does the anger hold any purpose?  When we get the learnings from a situation we tend to feel better and better about letting it go (the emotions) and moving on.  Actions are not necessary, changing our feelings is the most important (and actions can come as a consequence of that), but for many people having conscious learnings helps them to ‘let go’. 

So someone might say ‘If I could say "No" rather than saying ‘Yes’ all the time I’d feel I don’t need to have the emotion (whatever it might be) to protect me‘.  So if they have the learnings (in this case to be able to say ‘No’) they can let go of the emotion, which is the most important thing.

So ask yourself, ‘What do I need to think, feel, do so I can let go of the emotions?  I know that when I make peace with the present, when I soothe the emotions, when I feel ‘less bad’, when I feel ‘better’, I know that then not only am I feeling better but I know that I am more in harmony with the rest of the universe in supporting me with what I want’

When the universe is in harmony with you things will orchestrate themselves, things even beyond man-made laws and what you may think it’s possible, things will happen which you didn’t expect, things will surprise you, maybe people will say things to your certain way, or some things will happen, these will be things even beyond what you can consciously imagine and it’s not your job to figure out the ‘how’

We will talk more about ‘feeling better’ in….

RAISING VIBRATION

-but with my husband on the other hand I feel very empty
-At this point in my life I feel that I still haven’t found what I am looking for in life

 

These both seem quite similar in that they suggest an absence of certain feelings; good feelings, things that excite you, things that make you feel alive, things to move towards, etc.

There are many ways to feel better about things, firstly it starts with making peace with the present, making peace with the Now, which we touched on in the previous section.  Sometimes it is not easy to think about ‘feeling good’ until we have dealt with feeling ‘less bad’ and making peace with the Now, and then comes a point when we have to focus on ‘feeling good’ so as to get our attention off the ‘feeling less bad’ we were moving on from.  So for now, let’s assume that that has been done,

So, ways to feel better can include:

-Think back to times when you DID feel good about your husband, when you were excited, when there were many things happening and you were looking forward to what was ahead.  Not necessarily because you want to make this relationship work (or not) but because you are looking for things that felt good, that is the only criteria in this

-Think about the aspects that you don’t think your husband is reflecting at the moment – let that be an indication of the aspects that you’re not focusing on WITHIN YOURSELF.  Start thinking and practising the thought of having those aspects in your life

So for example if you say you don’t feel loved, practice on how it feels to be loved.  When you change how you feel about yourself you change how others feel about you too and either you will draw those aspects from those people or you will attract people will reflect those aspects to you, at the end of the day everything you attract is a reflection

-Think about what the future might hold, or I don’t know what your choices will be in terms of the relationship with your husband in the future, but think about a relationship you are in in the future and how it feels, how is it to have the things that you want.  Again, this is just another way of practising thoughts that feel nice.  You are just using the frame of having something in the future as a way of allowing yourself to feel things a certain way. You could imagine it now, you can imagine it in a relationship in the past – it doesn’t matter – the most important thing is that your attention is on things that you WANT

-You can make a list of the things missing right now, whether in your life or in a certain relationship, and use that to identify what you DO want, and then practice feeling as if you would have them, feeling FROM having them

When you have lined up vibrationally you will not pay attention to the things that you used to, you will start to see things in a different way, you will see others differently in time, you will start to see the qualities of what you want in your experience, and that in itself will attract more of the same (Law of Attraction).  You will not be attracted to the same types of interactions as before, because the interactions that you are attracted to will be more in harmony with what you want from your new vibrational persepctive.

HOW YOU KNOW…

A wonderful example of this is:
-I am very blessed I have a wonderful daughter who
is MY LIFE

Notice how that statement feels compared to everything else (the previous statements for example), there’s a certain lightness, a certain light, easy – perhaps fun – feeling, a very different vibration.  You know that there is no ‘empty’ feeling here.  This feeling is very very easy and very natural to you, you are working on getting your vibration about other things to this sort of place.

Another way of describing this vibration is ‘pure’ i.e. it is not contradicted, what I mean by that is it is not mixed, there is no doubt, it is very clean and pure and you know EXACTLY how it feels – by how it feels – and there is no doubt, and when you talk about it to others they feel it too.



                              

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7 Comments

  1. Xio
    Posted April 3, 2008 at 5:36 pm | Permalink

    Thank you Hemal…I love this message…
    This makes me feel so happy because I see hope and right words in this message…
    I am sure this is going to help my best friend…I know her for almost all my life and she is like one of my sisters and that makes me wish so much that she Feels Happy..
    Powerful Vibration of love…
    Xio

  2. Dora
    Posted April 5, 2008 at 1:23 am | Permalink

    Hemal
    You were right about your comments regarding Dealing with Mixed Emotions and Raising Vibration (in a Relationship): I do need to concetrate in happy thoughts and positive thinking, and believe in what I have is real.After I read your reply I realize that I was afraid to be love by someone maybe I don’t want to get hurt as I did in the past, I have to trust myself first when in comes to relationship in order to work out. Hemal thank you so much for your smart words of wisdom, and for XIO thank you so much for being there for me and for being my best friend and the sister that I never had, Te quiero muchisimo

  3. Posted April 8, 2008 at 8:28 am | Permalink

    Thanks Dora & Xio :)

  4. Mal
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 6:23 pm | Permalink

    Hemal,
    i am married for almost 14 yrs. Have one of the best husbands in the world and a son. Yet, of recently i dont feel emotionally attached to him. I am not turned on by his touch anymore or feel attracted to him. My mind is with someone else, yet i dont want to leave my family. But cant resist the other partner, who i am now emotionally connected with. Pls advise.

  5. Posted February 21, 2012 at 1:45 pm | Permalink

    Sounds like the way you see things you can’t fully be happy either scenario, the way you see them at the moment.
    Ask yourself what both scenarios open up to you and make you aware of in your life and what preferences you would like in your life in going forward.

  6. Cherry
    Posted April 16, 2012 at 4:59 am | Permalink

    Hermal,
    I have been married 14 years and we have been together a total of 19 years. We were high school sweet hearts and recently we have finally had 2 children a 3 and a 5 year old. Because of my up bringing (I think) I have always catered to my husband and him being from the same culture has never demand it but I guess accepted. I am to the point where I’ve grown and experienced new things. I find myself a bit jealous of other women who have their husbands cater to them (spoil them)and when I try to address the issue with my husband it never works out. We seem to argue and then we don’t talk for 5-7 days. Some how our attraction for each other seems to bring us back, but we never resolve anything and I think he’s ok with that…the problem is I’m not- please help or advise…

  7. Posted April 16, 2012 at 11:06 pm | Permalink

    Hi Cherry,
    It seems you have a view on something and he hasn’t quite evolved the same view. It seems he will be “ok” if it stays as it is and there isn’t much motivation for him to change. It’s really up to you what you want…stay…and either convince him what is of value to you, or soothe where you are at and continue – though it doesn’t sound like that’s easy to do at the moment and beyond the scope of a comment for me to show you congruently how to do that.
    The other option is you step away and give the relationship space…allow you both to value each other and what you ‘miss’ about each other. This may be quite dramatic, and it may be, but in the options mentioned above, and any others you can think of, what are you most drawn to?

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