Sometimes we can be so absorbed in something that we don’t even realise that it is consuming us – it could be anger, sadness, fear, guilt, low self-esteem, a situation – anything that is keeping our energy and us away from who we naturally are.

It is about creating a separation and dissociation from those concepts, some distance, so we can find ourselves and move away from them.


When you create space between you and something unhealthy and toxic you get to redefine yourself, rather than incorporating the unhealthy aspect in the definition of yourself. Create the space, define yourself in new ways taking you forward in healthy and amazing ways.


The first step is the realisation and awareness of something so as to create that separation. Often we don’t know what to create separation from because we don’t realise it is affecting us – we can be too ‘in’ the problem.

Identify the edges – the boundaries – separate yourself from the issue, rather than the two blurring into one.  It’s like having a foreign entity in you and changing yourself to it (in an unhealthy way in this example, as if it was empowering then no need to change it at this time) and no longer realising the separation and difference between you and it.

That is where interacting with others, including if working with someone, can help as we get to be aware of any aspects like this, identify the boundaries, and shine the light on them. We get the awareness and realisation of them as well as the resources to step further into our light.

All great work with ourselves is by shifting our perspectives to allow our light – which is what we truly are, letting the illusions go, and shining our light…


Solving your problems



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  • Dot Hurley says:

    It is not always easy to standback from a situation in order to see clearly. I personally use meditation and energy work to address such matters.

  • Kathy Hadley says:

    Dear Hemal,

    This is a great post and so very true. I think for most people the first step is the hardest….awareness.

    That is definitely where an outside observer can help.

    I really like all of your posts here and on facebook and
    your book.

    Keep up the great work.


    • Hemal Radia says:

      Aww thank you, Kathy!

      I agree, the awareness is the hardest. If someone doesn’t know they have an issue/problem, how can they solve it?

      Thank you for your kind words, Kathy. I’m very much resonating with the great work that you do too, thank you!

  • Amy says:

    What a blessing to have somebody in our lives who knows us well enough to stand back and say “I think I know what’s REALLY bothering you . . .” It’s true that sometimes we can’t see the forest for the trees when something is troubling us, but another loved one can often pinpoint the problem. Good observation and no worries from N. Korea on this one. 😉

    • Hemal Radia says:

      Yes Amy, I agree, someone who we can trust and vice versa and knows us well enough to say that.

      Yes that’s a good analogy for this, we can bet “bark-burn” – being too close to the trees, it’s great to have someone remind us of everything else.

      Lol! Yes, hopefully they will bless this one lol 😉

  • Hi Hemal!

    Great post & very true that sometimes we don’t even realize how consumed we are by something until we step back. Distancing myself from things I find to be “problems” is always the best way for me to make a choice about what to do.

    Glad we met via UBC. Cheers!

    • Hemal Radia says:

      Thanks, Shelli!

      I agree, distancing from “problems” is a great way and what I tend to do too, including reflective and transformational time if need be.

      Thank you!