This is something I wrote in response to a note a friend wrote about how Soulmate attraction works,

I totally agree that the meeting takes place well before the physical meeting happens, as with all manifestations, by this I mean that the physical meeting is the consequence of something set in motion from before that moment

then with us being such physically oriented beings we are totally
startled and surprised and bamboozled by this wonderful connection!  Not
realising that this connection is also indicative of our connection to
our Selves, to God and to everything else
, that's why love and
appreciation is so easy and THAT'S WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD!

the two are together there is a great familiarity and that also is an
indicator, love and appreciation come so easily as well and also we see
synchronicities in our lives so much, not just within the relationship
but around us as well because we are in that place, love and
within ourselves is a higher vibration and attracts all
sorts of other positive things in our lives as well, and once again


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  • Julie Richardson says:

    This is so true. This blog is perfect Hermal. It is exactly how I felt and feel….That is why I keep feeling it will come back….

  • Tanya Jellicoe says:

    I think in this case, the use of soul-mate is incorrect. Soul-mates come into our lives at points when we need them and are usually frought with issues and problems to contend with. I have one in my life right now and it has been difficult emotionally (and yes, I did attract him before I learned what the Law of Attraction was!). These are people with whom you have probably been soul-mates with through several lives and are still working out karmic issues with. The ultimate partner is found in a Twin Flame. All the good stuff one expects when they think of a soul-mate, but none of the problems and baggage to work through!

  • Amanda says:

    I agree with Julie, soulmates enter your life simply to work through karmic issues……. Twin Flames are the other half of you, relationships are bliss on all levels!!

  • angelique says:

    i agree whole heartly with that, but a question…what if you are
    married, but you got married young, and always knew that the person was
    not your soulmate, you just did not resonate with each other…and now
    years later you meet someone else who ‘dances’ with you beautifully, and
    you both know without a doubt you have found your soulmate… what does
    it do to you karma if you decided to leave your spouse? or should you
    stay out of moral obligations?

  • angelique says:

    o me again:) how do i know who my twin flame is, or how do i go about attracting my twin flame?

  • pink earth angel says:

    hi, i have a very puzzling question i have been told of the laws of attraction after i summited my story to a site i came across but not quite understanding what its all about lol, any how to cut a long story short met a guy was only with him a short while at first i wasnt attracted to him physicaly to be honest i just wanted to run away dont no why as he wasnt a bad person just felt a strange vibe like i was suffocating, anyhw at first he was all over me saying he fell in love etc etc and i made him feel good, then after a while i started to let go then he all of a sudden said that he couldnt handle what i was bringing and finished the relationship, at first i was ok about it then i went on this strange spiritual journey kundalini i think its called i felt like a part of me had died 3 years on i stil feel him around me my heart breaks at never seeing him again i hear him i no when he is sad as when i close my eyes i see him i no when he is dancing as i feel him dancing, since i met him i now have psychic abilitys im a medium empath have healing hands etc etc, i dont quite understand what al this means all i no is ive never ever felt like this about someone in my life is this heartbreak as he realy wont speak to me now probably as i told him what i was going through and he thinks im quite mad lol,or is it we are twinflames/soulmates ive been told if it were true we were soulmates/twinflames we would both have same feelings he did in the begining but as i let him in he backed off, some might say its heartbreak or mental breakdown straw that broke camels back i realy dont no but this has gone on for 3 years now and everytime i try to cut ties get on with my life i hear him i feel him and my heartbreaks, dont get me wrong im getin on with my life thank god for my family but i just cant seem to make relationships work or can even imagine feeling this way towards another man, was he my soulmate? oh one more thing he was also very psychic if that helps i wasnt now it feels im living as me and him no i no im me lol i mean i feel him around me its hard to explain and yes he is still alive please can anyone advise me on my dilema ive tryed everything apart from confrontation as i no if i confronted him he would have me arrested probably lol as i said before he says he not intrested and thinks im quite mad were as it was ok for him to say he was psychic now he says hes not and a non believer oh im so confused and frustrated something hapened between us but i realy dont no what it was please help thank u so much love light and rainbows pink earth angel xxx

  • The Rose says:

    Hi Hermal,
    This is a wonderful topic. as I’m reading these comment several seems to reflect what I’ve gone through. as a loving person I seems to touch the hearts of many. I didn’t know at the time about the LOA and didn’t understand what was happening. I met an incredible person once, on the internet we had so much in common, we became very good friends. but something strange did happen as feeling started to get involve, on my part, which i was trying to control, because we both are in a relationship. but my life hasn’t been a happy one. so I guess when this person came into my life it really made me feel special that someone cared. I was at the point in my life. I needed attention and I guess I became to attached and I it frighten him, so misunderstanding and confusion evolved and the friendship ended. I’m going on with my life now. but this person will always be in my heart. Could he have been a future soulmate? according to him I don’t think so.

  • Hemal Radia says:

    Hi Tanya & Amanda, (and for anyone else for informational purposes)
    Thank you for your thoughts,
    I’ve heard the terms Soulmates and Twin Flames quite a bit and I will give a vibrational perspective and put the languaging aside.
    Anything in this Universe expands as a result of your attention to it and taking your attention of something leads to it disappearing in time.
    You mention the term ‘karmic’, essentially karma as is everything else is vibrational in nature, it is created from vibration, from thought, and it is something we can change by attention to it (conscious or otherwise), many people come into their lives creating without intent and of course with all this information we are guiding people into creating AND with intent and with volition in their lives
    By putting our attention more on what we want are wanting we are creating more and more and more of that (attracting more of the same) and less away from without intent
    With anything (such as a relationship), if you put your attention onto the aspects of it is that you appreciate or even aspects of something else that you appreciate (i.e. something unrelated but where you have a vibration of appreciation, love etc) and you take your attention off the things that you do not like, then that is what you attract more of – more of what you appreciate. Either within the current relationship if they want to be a match to it or you attract something else there is a match to it, but if you truly are in a place of love and flow the physical will orchestrate itself for it
    So I’m avoiding using the terminology of soulmate and twin flames and the dichotomies they create, it is more important instead rather than labelling something to instead focus on:
    What you want to create more of,
    What you appreciate more of in what you have,
    What you appreciate more of a generally,
    What you would like to feel,
    What you would like to experience
    And certainly less on what you don’t like, take your attention off ‘what-is’
    Sometimes with intimate relationships the reason they can be turbulent is because the energies are so fast moving within the relationship because it FEELS SO GOOD and it is powerful but the reason things are being created which are not wanted is because the attention is on that (contrast, resistance etc) and the energy is flowing in that direction, similarly when the attention is on love and appreciation there is more of that also and it is powerful and synchronicities happen around you on a magical scale

  • Hemal Radia says:

    Hi Angelique,
    Thank you for your question,
    Ok (and I touched on karma in the above answer), karma is vibrational and determined through your thought and feeling. If you move on and have guilt issues around it you are creating karma. If you move on and do not have any issues and instead trust that by moving on you are doing the right thing through yourself and your current partner that too can be seen as ‘karma’ depending on your definition and whether you mean it as negative consequences of positive consequences, in this case I am stating karma as whatever meaning you give to it through your vibration, YOU SET THE TONE OF WHAT YOU ATTRACT THROUGH YOUR THOUGHTS AND VIBRATION, WHATEVER THE SITUATION
    So if you are asking, ‘Can I move on and be absolutely fine with it and how can I be fine with it?’ what I would say is focus on the appreciation of the new relationship or focus on what sort of love you would like to feel (irregardless of which relationship, let the Universe take care of the ‘face’, you just focus on what you want to feel and let the Universe match it) and the mechanics will take care of themselves. Take your attention off any potential challenges or anyone getting hurt and put yourself more in being in a place of love and appreciation – that is your alignment. From your place of alignment the Universe will orchestrate what you want
    Regarding your question about twin flame, I guess a combination of the comment above and this one answered that 🙂

  • Hemal Radia says:

    Hi Pink Earth Angel,
    My sense is when you did the kundalini it made you more tuned in and intuitively sensitive, much like you describe
    To answer your questions later on in terms of was this your soulmate and oftentimes many people describe their soulmate as that if they miss out on that person then that’s it, that is not the case, you will attract more of what is in your experience. If your experience is of a sense of loss and yearning and that you have ‘missed out’ then that is what you will attract more of, whether throuhg the interactions with him or elsewhere.
    However if you focus on how it would feel to be with your soulmate then you will let that into your experience from wherever that comes from. The Universe will provide a match to your vibration about it, if you are in a vibration of imminently meeting your soulmate or on your way to meeting your soulmate and it getting closer and closer and closer, the Universe will be matching that
    Take your attention off any yearning or lack on the part of what there was and be ready for something new to enter your life from whichever form that might be. Know that there is something on its way and you are to get into the anticipation and readiness of it and then in that you are allowing and letting it into your experience

  • Hemal Radia says:

    Hi The Rose,
    Well the implication in what you say about soulmates often how many people say it in that was this ‘the One’, and what you can say is he could have been ‘one’ of your ‘Ones’, and there is no limit to your ‘Ones’, the universe will create matches based on your vibration
    If you are implying that you have ‘lost out’, much like the reply above the answer is really putting your attention on what you want and how you want things to be and your reality and your experience around you will take shape, the Universe will orchestrate the details and the manifestations of it

  • DebraV711 says:

    This is a great topic… I too know what it is to meet a soul mate.. perhaps a twin soul. Before meeting him I had been alone for years.. then one day I heard his name, and I had this visceral response… my stomach got ‘butterflies’ my heart rate went up… I felt an urgency to find him. I knew something important was going to happen – I felt like he was going to be in my life even before we met. Then we saw eachother and our eyes locked from across the room.. I felt so attracted… such a pull toward him… and it was like that movie when everyone freezes and its just the two of you. We started dating soon after that and I fell head over heals in love…he was tall, beautiful… so sexy… so brilliant (we are both doctors…)so driven.. confident… and there was this passion… attraction between us that I had never experienced. It was so powerful. He was everything I thought I wanted- physically, intellectually, emotionally- we talked for hours and hours on the deepest level… sex was beautiful… But, things happened and there was a fear of committment on his part … I didn’t push- we were both 36 yo when we met and I figured old habits die hard… give it time. I was cheated on… we broke up a number of times..i. other women were always in the periphery- he was very sexy, charismatic and woman were literally throwing themselves at him- I have never seen anything like it… and he liked women… but despite all of it, I never stopped loving him, although resentment grew… we would end up back together only to break up again… then get back together etc. … at the beginning of last year he proposed and I wanted it and said yes, but I knew that it would never work…. we wanted to have children… and he seemed ready- he seemed to have grown. But, he still did not follow through… we had been long distance for 3 years and still no plans to move forward despite a proposal, no ring.. after being hurt and cheated on for 4 years, I lost faith in him, realized I could never trust him and I had to walk away. I still love him- and I have not even seen anyone in years that can begin to compare to him in my eyes….He of course has moved on (he is never alone for long) and has another girlfirend, and I have been alone, as usual as I have spent much of my adult life alone..I think about how strange it was to finally find that kind of love and to have to walk away… I am 41 now and I can not imagine ever having that love, attraction, chemistry aqain and I am still so sad- am still having a hard time letting go of what I wanted and couldn’t have. But staying was ripping me apart. So now what?? I want that kind of love and passion (except with someone I can trust…) but feel like I have already met my twin soul (I say twin because we were very similar in many ways… exact age… similar physique… tastes… even our initials…). How do you move on, find hope when you feel like you already met the person you were supposed to be with, but the universe did not want it to be..and you don’t think you will ever find anyone that you feel that way about ; when you know how beautiful and powerful love can be… what true love is , and can’t settle for anything less but there is no one that you have felt any interest in, or attraction toward in years (lierally). I have tried to be positive… but I see no sign that anything is or will change. Any advice???

  • pink earth angel says:

    hi hemal thank you so much for your reply im truly gratfull, i just wanted to add a few things in response to your comments and advise, im in my mid 40s and have had many experences from pain when it comes from realtionship breakups most of my relationships have been long term 15 years being my longest, each time a relationship has ended yes i got upset but only for 3 months max, then i would move on the last relationship were i went on a spiritual journey was the shortest relationship id ever had maybe we had unfinished busines yes but as for missing out no i didnt feel i missed out i felt like a part of me died, i felt a love i never had before i never did the kundalini myself the guy i feel around me did it to me there is more to the story i wil explain as best i can, the guy i feel is my soulmate said he had a gift for me when we were together, he asked me to look at him which i said why are u going to hypnotise me jokingly he said just look at me the he said these words “thats enuff power u will be back” then he turned his back and said if u want to get in to my soul try another way he told me he was psychic and had given me gifts, i thought he was mad, as i left vowing never to see him again he got in contact one month later and said he couldnt handle what i was bringing and finished out relationship as i said i was fine untill i met someone else and went on a date the date was strange it was like the new guy was me and i was my ex role reversal it happened several times my tv turns over and plays songs that relate to me and him ive had experence with a entity a incubus that says it was my ex ive seen and heard many paranormal things i almost went insane,i made awish i remembered his words try get in my soul another way so i wished from my heart to get in his soul dont ask why i really dont no why i never expected this to happen as i really didnt believe in anything i was totally sceptical not now im not though lol, i asked my ex why he was doing this he denyed everything even the staring thing he did to me and even the fact he was psychic and said i was crazy and he wasnt spiritual atall, i never imagined this its al true i just want to no why it happened with someone i didnt even fancy at all why didnt it happen with someone who truly did love me back i dont understand to be honest to me those feelings u get like that must mean something not just mean that i feel ive misssed out ive missed out loads of times but never felt like that ever maybe he dabbled in something i dont no and i was vunerable at the time and he got in my aura i really dont no as to be honest ive been through i lot so when i met him all my barriers had been stripped my heart had many cracks and i guess he must of been the straw that broke the camels back if according to most he not my soulmate, so what would be the difference then what are the feelings u get when u meet someone thats your soulmate/twinflame to me its how i feel now , i feel him around me i feel his pain i feel his laughter i feel his love yet in real life i get abuse and nastyness i dont understand or is it al just me or was it my wish that did it? im so angry as he got at me and made me wish and now im like a prisoner or a puppet on a string and i dont no how to fix it my hearts breaking xxx

  • DebraV711 says:

    I just want to comment about ‘twin souls’ or ‘twin flames’. It is sort of contradictory to my previous post… but objectively speaking: your twin soul or flame is your mirror image- when you were pure energy, you both made up the polarities of the same essence. So, male/female energy (this is symbolic), +/-..yin/yang… you get the idea- if you have ever studied organic chemistry, you know that molecules show this very phenomenon- enantiomers, stereoisomers… the same exact molecule but in reverse- literally the mirror image of itself in a 3 dimensionsl space…. so it exists in science just for the record.. and although they have the same attributes, because they are literally ‘opposite’ they are different… (caraway seeds and spearmint are enatiomers if my memory serves me…)… so…you were of the the same energy until one of you incarnated, manifested into the physical and you split from each other- ripped apart. It makes sense that we long to reunite. But, while you came to the earthly plane, they may or may not have. Without them, atleast for many of us, it feels like something is missing… there is an incompleteness, a yearning for the lost twin because we can not be whole until we merge or unite with them…. With them there is unconditional love, understanding… passion.. ecstacy, beauty like no other. But for those of you looking for for your twin (and why wouldn’t we be??), be careful. It is more probable than not, that they are not physically manifested at the same time you are and it may not be possible to find him or her in this life time. If you are waiting to find him or her, you may be waiting a number of lifetimes. As sad as that might sound, you will find eachother eventually and you will spend eternity together, but it may not be during this incarnation. Now as far as soul mates go, they come into your life for a reason.. they are put into your experience to teach you.. to help you work through your issues… and once you learn your earthly lessons, the relationship may end because the work is done. But soul mates have different levels.. there are soul mates that may be very close to a twin… and it may be an incredible passionate glorious relationship. Other soul mates are farther removed and may be in your life for shorter periods of time or may not be people you become deeply involved with… or may be someone who you conflict with and really don’t even like… but all are important… in other words not all soul mates are created equal… and there are a number of soul mate relationships that can bring you great joy and passion… and yes happiness. I write because it is actually very rare that twin souls (atleast that is my understanding) are physically manifest at the same time… very rare do they find eachother, get married and live happily ever after. Usually, atleast in spiritual theory, it is only after you have spiritually reached the highest level… and finished with all your earthly lessons, and may choose not to come back into physical again because you have learned everything you set out to learn in this plane…that you find each other. We have reasons that we are here… and we have to go through difficult learning experiences without the safety of our other half, atleast temporarily until we have gone though our issues and learned what we set out to learn… if they with with us, we would not push through all we have to push through…..there wouldn’t be any reason to push when we already have found our bliss … just my two cents.

  • meg says:

    This is a wonderful topic. I had that ‘instant connection’ with my husband when I first met him. It was an instant knowing, appreciation, attraction, kinship, etc. And we built from there. We ended up seperated due to a long and painful series of events, for several years, but I always knew he was ‘the one’. And he and I DID reunite, (re-manifest each other) and have been together blissfully for years. 🙂
    However, I disagree that soulmates isn’t the correct term here… soulmates are many in our lives — they can even be pets. They can be our mate, whom we love, and cherish, and have comfort with our whole lives, or yes, those who seem to be the antithesis of us… however, that isn’t always the case.
    Twin flames are something we all have, regardless of gender, or orientation, to each male, there is a female — but typically two halves of the twin flame pair are not carnate on this earth together — one usually is in the ethers loving, and guiding their twin to higher growth and evolution of spirit. Only when they are both on the same rung of growth, and spiritual alignment will twin flames come together, carnate in a physical body on this earth. And they may not even be mates — but bestfriends, siblings or even parents! While that situation is rare when they do come down to earth together, it has happened. Twin Flames are not predicated on a sexual intimacy — only simply, two halves that function best and most perfectly together.
    I’ve been doing this type of work for many years, and have only run into a handful of other twin flame souls that have met up… but that doesn’t mean, that you can’t find the most blissful and perfect mate for you now! Please don’t feel you have to find your Twin Flame, to have the perfect most loving relationship — because you’re twin may or may not be here with you now. But trust that there IS the perfect mate for you NOW in this Time, here for you.
    Sometimes we have to stumble to find that person — my husband and I were both married to complete mismatches before — but that is where our soul’s evolution was at the time we married them — my mate and I each outgrew on a soul level, the relationships we were in, and were manifesting our most perfect partner, and in our case, it happened to be a twin flame connection…
    Blessings all!

  • Hemal Radia says:

    Hi Debra,
    Practice the vibration of what you WOULD like. Many people when they use the terminology of soulmate or twin flame they presume it being limited in supply (eg their being only ‘one’), practice the vibration of what you want in your life, let go of what has been and instead focus on the feelings/thoughts of what you WOULD like
    The universe will provide as much of what you want as you want (it’s abundant, unlimited, infinite etc), if you have had your vibration in a certain place the universe can’t not match it, i.e. it must match it, it’s (meta)physics
    In your languaging you are presuming that you had one twin flame and that is now gone and that the universe did not want it to be, and so you feel you do not really have a lot of ‘hope’, in fact perhaps feel ‘hopeless’ and so that is also what the universe matches you more with.
    Start to gently entertain the possibility of the qualities of a soulmate, let go of the face that you knew it by previously, focus instead on the vibration of how it feels, how it feels for this to be in your life, and build it from there, practice that vibration and build it there and grow it and you will see more and more evidence of what can be (and will be) coming into your life

  • Hemal Radia says:

    Hi pink earth angel,
    I’m not totally clear on what you were asking but my sense is that the answer is here in these comments on this post
    Also, if you are asking ‘Why did I attract someone who didn’t love me back?’ the answer to it would be that it was a vibrational match on some level. Look at perhaps how you felt about yourself, look at anything to do with self-esteem, about valuing yourself etc. The solution is to put your focus on what you WANT to attract, not on what there was and what went wrong about it – as you focus on why something wasn’t ok you are putting more and more focus on that.
    So use the contrast of what there was to put your attention on what you would like and build the vibration of that. Sometimes when something was a significant event it takes a bit of practice, but it can be done, it also gives you more clues and more contrast and powerful emotions such that when you DO line up to what you want things happen very quickly
    What happened has expanded you vibrationally and you are in a far more powerful place to attract what is a match to what you truly want, and as soon as you are familiar with that vibrationally you will see more and more of it in your experience

  • Hemal Radia says:

    Hi Debra, thank you for elaborating on twin flames! Thank you for sharing!
    Meg, thank you for sharing your story! Thank you for illustrating this and your uplifting and inspiring message!
    Best wishes,

  • pink earth angel says:

    thank u hemal, so much i guess i no u right im just scared thats all im scared to think lol, ive been through something thats new to me and im very confused also scared as everytime i think things happen i have no controll over it, example if i think of this guy and im with another the guy im with his personality and words are like its my ex if that makes sense its like i keep dating my ex over and over like u say im probably manifessting it myself the confusion i have is how did this happen to me as before i met my ex i had no power what so ever and now i got all this power and im scared it feels although i got all his psychic ability also and now he has none what so ever role reversal ohh im so frustrated lol i really dont want this i want me back i want my blinkers back on , its ok though im sure with time things will get easier to understand, to be honest when i met my ex my self esteem was high yes like i said many knocks to the heart but i was ok i really was, untill he got into my aura and made me open up my heart only to throw it on the floor and stamp on it, gues thats what this is a broken heart and i guess god steps in and mends it and gives u powers im not too sure but it would be nice to have instructions lol its really scary thanks hemal for all your advice im going to concentrate on trying to trust again because thats one thing i havnt got is trust guess thats why i cant move on the straw that broke the camels back, you can only feel like that once i believe anything else that comes after that comes nowere close thats why i no ive just lost a soulmate or twinflame wont find that again i no for sure love and light to u xxx

  • Hemal Radia says:

    Thanks pink earth angel,
    It’s about asking yourself what vibration/feeling/thoughts are you putting out and attracting more of the same of. Be gentle and kind and loving with yourself along the way, take it gently and things will soothe and ease, and you will have insights and you will attract thoughts that will raise your spirits and hope, and from there you will see other things which you do not see at this moment, but start by being loving and gentle with yourself and go from there

  • ryan says:

    hi guys, i met this girl 2years ago she was travelling and we hit it off she was perfect for me i thought of her as a proper angel anyway she was from usa i newzealand and she came to newzealand we were only with eachother 2months but i knew her for 4 we had great times everything perfect, she was everything perfect to me, i know she was really in to me and when we were intimate it just felt so right and we both thought this, anyway the time came for her to leave and it was hard becoz i know she liked me still however with the situation getting intense and me getting upset i lost her forever we didnt even really break up, she was everything i attracted why did things change becoz 2 years have passed and still i think of her and love her with all the love i have.

  • Hemal Radia says:

    Hi Ryan,
    I’d say something similar to what I think I might have said above which is put your focus on the qualities of what feels good and let the Universe orchestrate the details. Understandably you are feeling a sense of loss, take your attention off that and know the Universe will arrange a match for you – which it can do very easily – based on your vibration. Give it a vibration of you being in love and feeling as happy as you were that time if not more and see what happens around you

  • Henri Coleman says:

    This is a great post with some great answers! I will re-read it many times. By the time I got to the end of the post and all the comments and answers, I almost had a headache! LOL…don’t know how you do it!

  • Sonali Patel says:

    AMANDA says : “I agree with Julie, soulmates enter your life simply to work through karmic issues……. Twin Flames are the other half of you, relationships are bliss on all levels!!”
    This where i get confused! – ie if it is true, ie soulmates work through karmic issues, so i guess we have no control over it then, ie they have to settle accounts from past lives!!!

  • suzanne says:

    oh my god how deep are we…. all i hear is loss loss pain hurt.. lets focus on the love for each other how greatful we are to have brought these wonderful people into our lives.. how happy we feel to be around them and what we’ve learned.. yeah a great post love to all keep positive x

  • lana says:

    I have had a soulmate experience before. And it is one of the most powerful experiences ever. Your desire to be with that person is so strong and there is nothing you can do about it. You know without a doubt that you experienced the power of love. Me and my potential soulmate interacted briefly but sadly he cut off all contact with me. This of course hurt me deeply. It is a very intense experience and some people just can’t handle it. I was scared to but deep down I wanted to be with him. Your heart is effected so deeply by this person. That is why it can be a beautiful and painful experience at the same time. It’s amazing that afterwards, I met another soulmate and he has offered me unconditional friendship unlike the first. Being with a soulmate is a very nice feeling, like you are with the one you’re supposed to be with. Words can not describe the awesome power of that experience whether you’re with that person or not. Its truly unforgettable.

  • Hemal Radia says:

    Thanks for sharing, Lana 🙂

  • openlotus says:

    i have been reading Hemal’s advice for a while now and its really helped me to grow~ I really love how Hemal can fully focus on the capacity to attract what we want. Your advice is so strengthening and i enjoyed reading all these stories and then feeling everyone’s sadness and disappointment and then reading Hemal’s advice and strength. I agree when we meet someone who opens our heart on this level it can bring up so much stuff for both people… to me i see it in a more psychological light, that these meetings though they blast our beings with a whole new experience of the depth and power of love it also brings out our wounds and the places we are broken… it happens to both people simultaneously… so then it has this tendency to bounce back and forth off each other compounding the issues….we project our lack of not having more of what we want onto the other person as not giving it to us…
    I have been experiencing the same in my life and have been really using this time to also explore what it is i do want and taking responsibility for that so not to feel like it is all at the disposal of this other being… for if it were then feelings like “i am not being given enough” arise and with that a whole slue of negativity and anger arises… By taking back my own power manifest what i want it removes the responsibility from this person to be the sole provider of it…and eases everything up… there is more space… my friend has become a catalyst for me to take my responsibility back because if i don’t its just too painful… its helping me to grow and be more in charge of my wishes and needs… to be in the drivers seat and not always wrapped up in how the passenger is feeling or what he is doing… when it gets intense i pull back into myself and ask myself what do i really want here….and realign my self with my dreams irrelevant to the faces around me….
    Hemal your advice is very pivotal in continuing to be able to do this….

  • Hemal Radia says:

    Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your kind words 🙂

  • Christy says:

    I really enjoyed this piece. It’s been very informative as well as enlightening. I guess my comment is more of a question, in that, although the topic itself is related to relationships, is it possible to achieve the kind of strength in love and personal well-being “without” a relationship? It would seem to me that unless you have the existing strength within..finding someone to fulfill a “need” seems dependent to me and I just wonder if we should be learning more about meeting our needs without relying on other people? Other people are, only human and have their own needs as well. Any thoughts?

  • Hemal says:

    I totally agree, Christy. That’s actually my own ethos too (and the last chapter of my book talks about that), in that we come together in our own wholeness and create beautiful things together. If we come together in incompleteness, the relationship can be an expression of that also. I agree 🙂